age: 36 (Nov 09, 1975)
MEMBER SINCE: March 2003
occupation: File Monkey.
gets me hot: Fire. C'mon,. I'm a fat guy, we don't have sex.
into: Stuff.
makes me happy: Headbutting stuff. Massaging girls. Flirting with the pretty girls.
body mods: Do head injuries count as body modification?
i lost my virginity: to a married woman, and then had to leap out of a second story window when her husband came home.
most humbling moment: Lying in an alley, beaten so bad, I couldn't even talk (ask anyone who knows me, that's near death for me.)
makes me sad: People that put up with, and defend, bullies.
sign: Scorpio, or Serpico, whichever isn't the cop.
crush: Any woman born between 1968 and 1990 that doesn't believe in astrology, and that can throw a solid right cross.
stats: Tall. Fat. Sexy.
Book 2
Chapter 7
Verse I. And then The Jackass broke the 71th seal. And His eyes were filled with a vision... The Clouds were parted with a thunderous roar, and roarerous thunder. The Believers and the Non-Believers alike all gazed up to The Heavens. And their eyes beheld The Singular Moo. Appearing as an anthropomorphized bull, brown in color, with horns of steel, and a wicked nose ring, He sat atop The Golden Tricycle of Vengeance, and wore a jacket of leather. No, it wasn't cowhide, you weirdo, nay, it was a jacket made of the tattooed hides of a thousand college football players (We're talking a hell of a lot of bicep bands here, mostly tribal or barbed wire, but ALL clip-art.)
Moo or be lost,
FLC Punk
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