"If she's ever in New York while I'm still living in it, I think I'll take her to Lucky Cheng's on a Saturday night for martinis and lap dances from men dressed like women with tits bigger than our own, combined."

"I love this girl"

"Don't be fooled. Fancy is a big softie. She only pretends to be a bitter old hussy."

"OH MY ..."

"i hate YOU!"

"yet oddly attractive too......"just how do i do it" you ask.....ahh sweet mysteries of life"

"so look at all these fools you all already have doped...poor young zac, and "me not you" puhlease who he is trying to fool, no really who.."us"..? not today, shite not anyday...and fu poor, poor misguided fu, come on man do you think your relatives came to this country to build our outdated railroad system just so he could fawn over you....well if he did his maintfest destiny really didn't ammount to much...
and now me, sure i shouldn't have spiced your coffee or left my shorts at your place but honestly with the lock jaw grip you hand on them how else could i really escape your lustful clutches....i mean yeah soon you will have all my underwears, but that is because i respect you otherwise i mean with out underwear who know what your lips would lock on to..and for that fact plus your nearly contast in-knee-bre-ation, i salute you oh lover of corndogs...well something on me salutes you...but that dirty talk will have to wait for anoher day"

"Once, she made me laugh so hard I shit myself.

Everytime I go to Whataburger, I wanna be like her. Except taller. And not vegan."

"oooh, very fancy. I'll take one."

"i love her."

"i don't know why exactly, but this little lady makes me think that she is fantastic.

so she is, thusly, fantastic.

reprazent."