Well! Hello there, World. Beings that this is my first true forray into ranting my life away here, allow me to start with a bit of background on yours truly - in brevity. I'm an asshole. I use superfluous wordplay for shits and giggles and often times get my jollies from tossing vulgarity around just for the fuck of it. I've spent the last six years moving holy-fuck-all-over in the service, and I take pretty kindly to that "wanderlust" shit. I've deployed a few times, and as of now am exactly one month and twelve days returned from my latest tour in Afraqistan (lovingly, the middle east). The album of the hour is "I'm Like a Virgin Losing a Child," and sandalwood is presently smoldering out of a brass frog's eye sockets.

I'm four days shy of twenty-five days of freedom; damn near the entire month of December and a bit of a spill into January are mine to do whatever the shit I like with. Florida (home, sweet home) is calling.

So, World, this is me. Nice to meet you. Wanna get shitfaced together? D: