endquire

Read my commentI would just like to know if I am insane. Sometimes it is good to double check.

I had a dream the other week. Perhaps last sunday I do not remember for certain. I just remember that I was watching someone. I was following them around but I was an invisible observer. It was a girl performing various tasks. They were errands, her job. I do not remember much. I just remember I was watching her. Then she went to this apartment and I followed her in. It was sort of like I was a ghost. Then their was some one else with me. Like they just appeared in my dimension. The girl was doing her work in the apartment. she was taking care of someone. Then their were these black leather chairs with a table between them. their was this twig on the table amongst the usual clutter. I picked it up and looked at it. It was very twisted sort of like the wand in the movie willow. Then I noticed a read tape on it like they have on gum wrappers to open the pack more easily. I pulled it off and the bark came off. I handed to my friend. Then she started smoking it. Then I became tangible. The caretaker girl was running around trying to do her work. I went to help her. my friend was sitting on the big black leather sofa smoking the gnarled twig. I am helping the girl make dinner for bill cosby who is now sitting in one of the big black chairs. Theo(yes that Theo, Malcolm Jamal Warner) is being totally awful. He is sitting in the other chair smoking a cigar, holding a big bowl of popcorn and throwing things at us. I think they are like soup cans without their labels. We are scrambling to keep up and make dinner. He is barking commands and being obnoxious. Bill is sitting on the edge of his seat with wide eyes. It is as if he was shot with a freeze ray or something. Then I go sit on the couch with my friend who is still smoking her twig. Then bill cosby turned into my friend, my only male friend. He just sort of morphed and rolled back into the chair. Then I woke up. Why am I subconsciously obsessed with bill cosby? Mutations.
I have had a lot of headaches lately. Stress, cycling maybe. Weakness drowsiness. Dangerous. Caffiene does not really keep me awake. It keeps my mind sharper and I stay awake by my will power, without getting to magicy. When I am sick that can be affected. I do not worry, the magicy part keeps me safe. I have no breaking point. I hear about breaking points. I have heard that such breaks have been so bad as to drive people to insanity. People have break downs. Push me to the edge and I just shed my skin. It falls away and I am new again. I acclimate to my every circumstance. I always find balance. I always maintain what I need to exist. I have been more inspired lately. I have felt my power and strength grow. So many surreal stories, My philosophies, performing these monologues that explore a character, My erotica, all the stories and creations that flow through me. at least I am getting closer to being able to write it all down. I talked to my ex girlfriend the other week. I cannot really remember anything except that we talked about how I need to do something with my script or she threatened to steal it. She told me I have writing talent that she does not want me to waste. It means a lot from her. She does not mince words when she hates something. She is an avid reader and she is most clever when she is flexing her caustic, poisonous tongue. She is full of hate. I love that in a woman.