I am sorry if I have neglected anyone. I apologize for my failure. Life is.
I got a call of the doctor the other day. I was greatly dismayed. As it turns out I am pregnant. I know you are all shocked. You are thinking, oh no john how is that possible? I know I am very safe. I always were mittens when I clean the toilet. I make sure my chinstrap is clasped and cinched when I go exposing myself to hobo's. I always brush my teeth before I prechew food for the elderly, and I always make sure that I scribble Mongolian slang terms for horse wrestling when I go linger are the bus station. I think it may have happened when I was smearing my feces on random doorknobs in the gated community. I got into a territorial struggle with a squirrel and it nibbled my ear. I am come to terms with being an unwed father. It is a girl, her name is carmela and she spits acid. It is just phosphoric acid and not to a concentration that is immediately corrosive. Her mouth is really mucusy though so perhaps it will become so in time. If she needs to catch food or scare of enemies I want her to have it. She has been in a pouch on my back staring out like a little papoose. Sometimes she looks over my shoulder. We have a real connection beyond the fact that she extracts nutrients directly from my body. When I am upset with some one she gives them a squirt. She loves daddy. everyone loves daddy. She has the most darling scales and heat pits. She has been growing at a rate of 400% every 36 hours. her development has mirrored evolution. I hope she becomes mammalian soon. She has been shedding her skin and I keep choking on bits when the wind picks up. She will probably be shedding hair too. At least I will not have to buy baby clothes.
I randonly spontaneously think of absurd, surreal, ridiculous stories. It entertains my mostly bored mind. That and the things I dare not say.
I got a call of the doctor the other day. I was greatly dismayed. As it turns out I am pregnant. I know you are all shocked. You are thinking, oh no john how is that possible? I know I am very safe. I always were mittens when I clean the toilet. I make sure my chinstrap is clasped and cinched when I go exposing myself to hobo's. I always brush my teeth before I prechew food for the elderly, and I always make sure that I scribble Mongolian slang terms for horse wrestling when I go linger are the bus station. I think it may have happened when I was smearing my feces on random doorknobs in the gated community. I got into a territorial struggle with a squirrel and it nibbled my ear. I am come to terms with being an unwed father. It is a girl, her name is carmela and she spits acid. It is just phosphoric acid and not to a concentration that is immediately corrosive. Her mouth is really mucusy though so perhaps it will become so in time. If she needs to catch food or scare of enemies I want her to have it. She has been in a pouch on my back staring out like a little papoose. Sometimes she looks over my shoulder. We have a real connection beyond the fact that she extracts nutrients directly from my body. When I am upset with some one she gives them a squirt. She loves daddy. everyone loves daddy. She has the most darling scales and heat pits. She has been growing at a rate of 400% every 36 hours. her development has mirrored evolution. I hope she becomes mammalian soon. She has been shedding her skin and I keep choking on bits when the wind picks up. She will probably be shedding hair too. At least I will not have to buy baby clothes.
I randonly spontaneously think of absurd, surreal, ridiculous stories. It entertains my mostly bored mind. That and the things I dare not say.
VIEW 25 of 41 COMMENTS
I found it most entertaining, And kept visualising it in my head.
Oh and your comments are never lame btw.
How are you doing.