endquire

http://www.myspace.com/luxdivon

http://www.myspace.com/sparklesrecordingco

I do not condone Oprah but this one at least makes a good point.

I keep thinking of Blue Merle

I was thinking about Sazan Eyes earlier. It is one of may favorite anime I don't know what to call it. Their is more to the manga. I have seen the two films they have made. I saw the second one first and the first one second. In essence their is this girl who is an immortal demon. She leaves her home as she is the last of her kind and wants to become human. She is also being chased by evil forces. She meets a boy. To save his life she makes him her wu. I will save the explanations of everything. but basically she sucked out his soul. He got a mark on his head that translates to mean "nothing". His soul is inside of her and he is now invulnerable. He is also her protector. At the end of the first one the evil gets to her and their is an explosion. He knows she is alive because he wouldn't be if she died. So then he goes searching for her. He loves her and he goes to save and protect her. It makes me think of some other things but I wll not go on about anime.

I have never gone after anyone that I fell in love with, EVER! I have only ever tried to be a friend and to help people. I never sought anything from anyone or had any expectations. It is like you sort through profiles and then something catches your eye. You see that someone is into starting a revolution. So you think what the fuck. What kind of ridiculous hippy bullshit is this. So you imagine that this is some pseudo intellectual who has spent too much time getting hip to the reefer madness and things waving cardboard signs with clever sayings are going to rock the vote. So you write something because no doubt the response will be so absurd it will be hilarious. You get a response from this person and it is not at all what you thought possible. So then you write back to question this further and see if this is for real. Then she writes back and she is the real deal. So as the correspondence progresses. A friendship is built upon mutual respect. We correspond for time with building admiration. Perhaps their is an IM or two. Then after a bit you notice it, things to change slightly. Their is a growing anticipation of emails. You check looking for them. You know what is different and you know why it is different but you do not admit it. So you just have this great growing friendship. This person is amazing she is a real thinker. She is passionate in her beliefs. She poses real questions that make me think to answer and help me to know what I believe. Then we play that game, the spiral of words. Slowly walking the spiral of questions and answers avoiding saying what we wanted to say. You have discussions about analyzing scenarios and possibilities. Asking questions and posing different what if situations. Dancing around each other until you hit the center facing each other and you cannot deny it any more. Then you are in love. You were just suppose to be friends but you two could never have just been friends. It was fate and you had no choice. You need her and No one else could give you what she can. To her you seem to be everything that she ever wanted. Everything she needs. It wasn't a trick. Although I always fear it is the result of my evil power. When the evil spell wears off the love goes away. I do my best to keep people away from my influence and my evil curse.

If I could be a one woman man I would. I would for any woman that I am in love with. I wanted that life and I tried for it. I worked at it. It is what I always wanted. It is always what I thought I would have. It is what everyone is suppose to do. It is not who I am and I cannot be it. It is not ego, it is not fun. It is just love and my commitment to those loves. Pure love not papers,lawyers, trinkets, games, justifications or making people not involved with the relationship happy. I haev forgooten mu poitn.