A Useless Guy Giving Useful Information- Facebook Albums
As many, many Human Resource workers have let me know, I am practically useless, but I know so many things that so many other people do not. In an attempt to be useful I shall share my knowledge on how to make an awesome Facebook album.
Friends - These will be helpful in not only giving you willing camera models, but someone to look at your Facebook album.
Camera- This is good for capturing the images, but if you want you can always steal other people's images.
"Nu class headed to the mall!"
What Pictures to Take
Posed- In a posed picture, people know whats going on so they smile and make sure that reefer isn't showing
"Last Call"
Candid- Most people will not notice you take this sneaky photo, so they are in their raw element. It looks cool, but girls that hate themselves will always hate the candid photo, so will most girls that like themselves.
Things that will make your album better:
Alcohol
Alcohol makes people more social and dumb. These are two main ingredients in a great Facebook album.
Full Body Shot
Too! Much! Sexy!
In case you didn't notice, human beings have a torso and legs. Try putting them in some of your photos
Group Shot
Everyone wants to think they have friends. Group photos lets them keep the delusion going strong.
Romance
They've been married for like 8 years now.
Facebook isn't entirely based on negative emotions. If you capture a tender moment, set it free on your album.
Lust
Ooooooh Yeeaaah!!! Let's get those juices flowin! Anytime someone kisses anywhere near your camera catch it, because sometimes they'll pay you not to put that photo online. Now you are a professional photographer.
Shame
I'm not really kissing her. I just knew how funny it was that while she was straddling that dude she wanted to kiss me.
If your Facebook album is going to create any buzz, it will have...
A Useless Guy Giving Useful Information- Facebook Albums
As many, many Human Resource workers have let me know, I am practically useless, but I know so many things that so many other people do not. In an attempt to be useful I shall share my knowledge on how to make an awesome Facebook album.
Friends - These will be helpful in not only giving you willing camera models, but someone to look at your Facebook album.
Camera- This is good for capturing the images, but if you want you can always steal other people's images.
"Nu class headed to the mall!"
What Pictures to Take
Posed- In a posed picture, people know whats going on so they smile and make sure that reefer isn't showing
"Last Call"
Candid- Most people will not notice you take this sneaky photo, so they are in their raw element. It looks cool, but girls that hate themselves will always hate the candid photo, so will most girls that like themselves.
Things that will make your album better:
Alcohol
Alcohol makes people more social and dumb. These are two main ingredients in a great Facebook album.
Full Body Shot
Too! Much! Sexy!
In case you didn't notice, human beings have a torso and legs. Try putting them in some of your photos
Group Shot
Everyone wants to think they have friends. Group photos lets them keep the delusion going strong.
Romance
They've been married for like 8 years now.
Facebook isn't entirely based on negative emotions. If you capture a tender moment, set it free on your album.
Lust
Ooooooh Yeeaaah!!! Let's get those juices flowin! Anytime someone kisses anywhere near your camera catch it, because sometimes they'll pay you not to put that photo online. Now you are a professional photographer.
Shame
I'm not really kissing her. I just knew how funny it was that while she was straddling that dude she wanted to kiss me.
If your Facebook album is going to create any buzz, it will have to show humanity at its worst. Black eyes, wardrobe malfunctions, writing on passed out dudes, vehicle accidents, or arrests will get everyone looking at your awesome Facebook album... if they don't defriend you.
What Not to Do
Take a Terrible Photo with My Camera
I am the king of taking pictures of myself, but no one else is. The best thing to do in any photo is get the picture at an elevated angle. This will eliminate the double chin that you refuse to eliminate in the gym.
Take Shirtless Photos of Just Yourself and Put Them Online (If You are a Boy)
Care to see my bear cave?
This one should be well established, but it is very important. You look like a psycho!
Leave Long Photos Unrotated
DUR!
Come on! You've been on Facebook for 6 years! You had to notice the curved arrows atleast once. If you leave a photo of a friend sideways, all you are saying is that you don't care about them, so why would they care about your photo album?
Use it!
Finishing Touches
Now you have your photos ready to upload, it's time to add the little things that will make your album really awesome.
Editng: That series of photos you took of a squirrel in your backyard, you only need one of those in your album, or none. Also make sure you don't put up any photos that will certainly get your friends fired, arrested, or stabbed by thier usually sane girlfriend. You accepted responsibilty when you accepted that Facebook request.
Title: Oh. Wow. "Summer '11." Unless your friends are a bunch of 9's in swimsuits, I can't think of a better way to make sure friends that are not in that album never look at it. Clever titles work best, but embarassing ones will do in a jiffy. Did someone vomit on the bartender (I hope you got it on film)? Title the album "Bartender, I'd Like to Return This." Hilarious!
Captions: Sure Devin is joker, but you can be too. See that weird-looking girl staring at the camera in Devin's picture? Make a joke about her being Devin's girlfriend. Do it for the entire album. Make it so everyone will forever equate Devin with that weird girl, even at his wedding. Screw him, that's why.
So I hope that I could have been some use to you. Making great Facebook albums is easy if you follow these guidelines. Soon enough, friends by the dozens will be feigning interest in what goes on in your life. They certainly aren't going to do any real work at that crummy office.
Be careful!
As many, many Human Resource workers have let me know, I am practically useless, but I know so many things that so many other people do not. In an attempt to be useful I shall share my knowledge on how to make an awesome Facebook album.
Friends - These will be helpful in not only giving you willing camera models, but someone to look at your Facebook album.
Camera- This is good for capturing the images, but if you want you can always steal other people's images.
"Nu class headed to the mall!"
What Pictures to Take
Posed- In a posed picture, people know whats going on so they smile and make sure that reefer isn't showing
"Last Call"
Candid- Most people will not notice you take this sneaky photo, so they are in their raw element. It looks cool, but girls that hate themselves will always hate the candid photo, so will most girls that like themselves.
Things that will make your album better:
Alcohol
Alcohol makes people more social and dumb. These are two main ingredients in a great Facebook album.
Full Body Shot
Too! Much! Sexy!
In case you didn't notice, human beings have a torso and legs. Try putting them in some of your photos
Group Shot
Everyone wants to think they have friends. Group photos lets them keep the delusion going strong.
Romance
They've been married for like 8 years now.
Facebook isn't entirely based on negative emotions. If you capture a tender moment, set it free on your album.
Lust
Ooooooh Yeeaaah!!! Let's get those juices flowin! Anytime someone kisses anywhere near your camera catch it, because sometimes they'll pay you not to put that photo online. Now you are a professional photographer.
Shame
I'm not really kissing her. I just knew how funny it was that while she was straddling that dude she wanted to kiss me.
If your Facebook album is going to create any buzz, it will have...