Well, I'm kicked out of my home. I can leave my stuff here, but I guess it is too much compounded shit for my parents to handle. So the great journey I must take starts not on my own planned schedule, but on one that is created as needed. I hope I have what it takes. I don't know what is going to happen.
Set adrift unprepared, the leaf will soar through the wind despite the perilous height.
Set adrift unprepared, the leaf will soar through the wind despite the perilous height.
This summer has become the craziest, longest, and best time of my life. I am currently relaxing after a week of hectic happenings, and this weekend will prove to also be quite long.
I have finally found my people, those that I feel like I belong with. I found a few that I have an intense connection with, as if I have known them for years already. Some would call it kindred spirits, I just think that we have always been this close in spirit, but now we can strengthen the connection because we have found each other in this world.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, it was the best thing for the both of us. I have changed so much, and she hasn't changed at all. I don't hold a grudge, I just hope she might be able to find herself, so she can be happy without having to rely on others for it.
So right now, I am deciding to remain completely unattached, and see where the flow of the world takes me. So far, it has been to great places, and I can't wait to see what else is in store. My options for the future are looking quite bright, at least from my perspective.
I just hope that my family can learn to worry about me less, because going off the standard path seems to make normals more afraid than a horse at a glue factory.
I have finally found my people, those that I feel like I belong with. I found a few that I have an intense connection with, as if I have known them for years already. Some would call it kindred spirits, I just think that we have always been this close in spirit, but now we can strengthen the connection because we have found each other in this world.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, it was the best thing for the both of us. I have changed so much, and she hasn't changed at all. I don't hold a grudge, I just hope she might be able to find herself, so she can be happy without having to rely on others for it.
So right now, I am deciding to remain completely unattached, and see where the flow of the world takes me. So far, it has been to great places, and I can't wait to see what else is in store. My options for the future are looking quite bright, at least from my perspective.
I just hope that my family can learn to worry about me less, because going off the standard path seems to make normals more afraid than a horse at a glue factory.
It has been a while since I updated, things are crazy right now. I got back from the Rainbow Gathering 2 weeks ago, but then I had so much to do I haven't even had time to do more on my computer than check my email. Been (slightly) looking for a job, but I am also leaving in a month for my roadtrip to Burning Man, so I don't want to get too stuck to this town. I don't know what I am doing afterwards, might be coming back to Minnesota, might go to Arkansas or Nebraska, or maybe someplace else altogether.
My first Rainbow Gathering was transformative, I feel like I spent a year in that forest. I had an epiphany on the 4th during the silence, and now I have started writing a book because when I tried to explain my ideas I realized it was far too much to communicate verbally. The title is "A Hypothesis on the Nature of Reality, Or, The Higher Order of the Conscious Mind" and I am unsure how long it will be.
I am also nearly broke, the rest of my savings is what I set aside for the road trip, my spending money is gone. Too many birthdays in one month. So now I'm off to have supper with my sister for her's, more updates later!
My first Rainbow Gathering was transformative, I feel like I spent a year in that forest. I had an epiphany on the 4th during the silence, and now I have started writing a book because when I tried to explain my ideas I realized it was far too much to communicate verbally. The title is "A Hypothesis on the Nature of Reality, Or, The Higher Order of the Conscious Mind" and I am unsure how long it will be.
I am also nearly broke, the rest of my savings is what I set aside for the road trip, my spending money is gone. Too many birthdays in one month. So now I'm off to have supper with my sister for her's, more updates later!
I will be gone for 2 weeks to Rainbow Gathering, was meaning to write a longer blog about it but got so caught up in the week I'm not even packed yet and leaving in 4 hours.
http://www.welcomehome.org/rainbow/index.html
http://www.welcomehome.org/rainbow/index.html
Friday! Woo woo! Heading out to go disc golfing with my SGTC peeps, I think it will be fun 
Then off to the concert, even more excited for that! My week has been rather uneventful, mostly waiting for today.
I went to my piercing shop in Red Wing yesterday, it was my girl's birthday and she got her upper ear cartilage pierced. I said I wouldn't go bigger, but I loved these 4g titanium tunnels I saw there, so I got them and popped them in my 6g holes I also got to use his opening tool (I have one in the mail) to remove my other CBRs too, and put in my black segments. Can't really see it well in the pic, they each have 3 black spikes on the bottom. They poke a bit, but had no problem sleeping. Now I need to figure out what to do with the 6g ones I bought... so tempted to put them in my 8g holes! Gauging is addicting.
Then off to the concert, even more excited for that! My week has been rather uneventful, mostly waiting for today.I went to my piercing shop in Red Wing yesterday, it was my girl's birthday and she got her upper ear cartilage pierced. I said I wouldn't go bigger, but I loved these 4g titanium tunnels I saw there, so I got them and popped them in my 6g holes
I also got to use his opening tool (I have one in the mail) to remove my other CBRs too, and put in my black segments. Can't really see it well in the pic, they each have 3 black spikes on the bottom. They poke a bit, but had no problem sleeping. Now I need to figure out what to do with the 6g ones I bought... so tempted to put them in my 8g holes! Gauging is addicting.
So, things are working out pretty well. I think I have convinced my friends that drinking until you forget who you are is a bad thing, maybe save their livers. I wish marijuana would just be legalized, then we could all just smoke or eat and have fun, and they wouldn't have to worry about their jobs.
Good thing I'm being a total hippie and not getting a job in this dead-end town. The choices are fast food or retail, and I have sworn off both. Thinking of applying at the pawn shop or something, but I doubt they are hiring. Other than that, once I get my car fully fixed, might do delivery. MAYBE. Depending how hard up for cash I am.
Starting to get settled in here on SG, I feel very comfortable with you guys
And for those of you who haven't heard of She Wants Revenge, here is their big hit off their self-titled album. They are my favorite band of all time, and I think they could do the theme music for SG.
Good thing I'm being a total hippie and not getting a job in this dead-end town. The choices are fast food or retail, and I have sworn off both. Thinking of applying at the pawn shop or something, but I doubt they are hiring. Other than that, once I get my car fully fixed, might do delivery. MAYBE. Depending how hard up for cash I am.
Starting to get settled in here on SG, I feel very comfortable with you guys
And for those of you who haven't heard of She Wants Revenge, here is their big hit off their self-titled album. They are my favorite band of all time, and I think they could do the theme music for SG.
So here it starts. I have been putting this off, writing a blog that is. I have always been afraid of how much I let people know about myself, and putting it out on the internet for the world to see is hard for me. The irony is that the company of interesting people and meeting new people are what I enjoy most in life.
Let me start out with a bit of an explanation of my background. I was born in a suburb of Minneapolis, a bedroom community with absolutely nothing going for it except houses, banks, schools, and churches. So there wasn't much variety in the people around me, and I found that boring. I was surrounded by the glorification of the mediocre, the disciples of the normal, and I wanted something more. I spent most of my early years as a loner, stuck in with the church crowd but too strange for them, and because of that too shy to find where I really belonged. I gained all my social skills in high school, when I finally found my place with the goths, which pretty much included all the types of alternative people. In my high school we were such a minority that when we had a party, we all fit in one person's basement.
This was also when I finally got upgraded from dial-up, and I found my true love: music. My parents would only listen to christian radio, and I didn't have money for CDs. Before I could find it for myself online, I said that I didn't like music, because all of the stuff on the radio sucked and sounded like the rest of the stuff on the radio, so I just listened to classical music. Then I found punk rock, heavy metal, black metal, alt rock, electro, trance, dance, house, darkwave, the list goes on, and I love it all. Now, I listen to nearly all music, as long as there is some variety and it isn't the same mainstream stuff reproduced with new faces.
I found a great girl in high school too, and we helped each other learn what a healthy relationship is. She was one of the first people I really opened up to, and I will always love her, no matter where life takes me. I have learned a lot with her, including that I am a bisexual polyamorous hedonist (still working on the words for my viewpoints, hard to find a good set of definitions that agree with what I want to say). I always had these feelings inside of me, but I held them back because I didn't know what they were or if they were good or not. Now I know that no matter what my feelings, they are MINE, and I shouldn't have to change them for those around me, because they belong to me, not them.
Then I went on to college, because the path others told me to walk led me there. I made the mistake of following that path, and I ended up at a great school in the academic sense, but horrible in the social sense. I spent the last year in the snows of the north, gaining a greater appreciation for Norse Metal. I went through the motions, but found that college was not for me. So I spent my time meditating on the greater questions: what do I want in life; what am I going to do with my life; what is life.
So far, I have not found the right answers, but I have found many things I believe to be the wrong answers. I have gained a sense of connectedness with the universe, and I am trying to explore that more fully. I have also gained a new appreciation for the company of interesting people of all sorts, and that is why I am here.
At worst, I hope to learn to open up more to others, because we are all the same anyway so there is no reason to be afraid. At best, I hope to enjoy the company of new and interesting people, and I think I will find them here
Let me start out with a bit of an explanation of my background. I was born in a suburb of Minneapolis, a bedroom community with absolutely nothing going for it except houses, banks, schools, and churches. So there wasn't much variety in the people around me, and I found that boring. I was surrounded by the glorification of the mediocre, the disciples of the normal, and I wanted something more. I spent most of my early years as a loner, stuck in with the church crowd but too strange for them, and because of that too shy to find where I really belonged. I gained all my social skills in high school, when I finally found my place with the goths, which pretty much included all the types of alternative people. In my high school we were such a minority that when we had a party, we all fit in one person's basement.
This was also when I finally got upgraded from dial-up, and I found my true love: music. My parents would only listen to christian radio, and I didn't have money for CDs. Before I could find it for myself online, I said that I didn't like music, because all of the stuff on the radio sucked and sounded like the rest of the stuff on the radio, so I just listened to classical music. Then I found punk rock, heavy metal, black metal, alt rock, electro, trance, dance, house, darkwave, the list goes on, and I love it all. Now, I listen to nearly all music, as long as there is some variety and it isn't the same mainstream stuff reproduced with new faces.
I found a great girl in high school too, and we helped each other learn what a healthy relationship is. She was one of the first people I really opened up to, and I will always love her, no matter where life takes me. I have learned a lot with her, including that I am a bisexual polyamorous hedonist (still working on the words for my viewpoints, hard to find a good set of definitions that agree with what I want to say). I always had these feelings inside of me, but I held them back because I didn't know what they were or if they were good or not. Now I know that no matter what my feelings, they are MINE, and I shouldn't have to change them for those around me, because they belong to me, not them.
Then I went on to college, because the path others told me to walk led me there. I made the mistake of following that path, and I ended up at a great school in the academic sense, but horrible in the social sense. I spent the last year in the snows of the north, gaining a greater appreciation for Norse Metal. I went through the motions, but found that college was not for me. So I spent my time meditating on the greater questions: what do I want in life; what am I going to do with my life; what is life.
So far, I have not found the right answers, but I have found many things I believe to be the wrong answers. I have gained a sense of connectedness with the universe, and I am trying to explore that more fully. I have also gained a new appreciation for the company of interesting people of all sorts, and that is why I am here.
At worst, I hope to learn to open up more to others, because we are all the same anyway so there is no reason to be afraid. At best, I hope to enjoy the company of new and interesting people, and I think I will find them here
