hey mother fuckers guess who is back

well kids its about that time again that the i go back on a hardcore diet and a strict work out regenement i have once again gotten myself fat and there is nothing worse than a fat dude with long blonde hair

so back to the gym i go and good food and eating every meal at the bar yeah that cant happen no more

i love workin out and i love the gym its just getting my ass back in there that takes all the work once i am there its fuckin easy

so here we go

figured everything out lifes good again

i am not the best person the best friend or the best boyfriend i could be

i have a hard time dealing with all that shit

the people that know me well understand me but at the same time the people that know me well i mistreat

i dont know what it is about me that does this its just who i am

i do my best to take care of my crew but i cant always do it cause of who i am

i am always the first person everyone calls when they need something cause the know i wil drop everything to come to there aid..

but

i am to easy to walk away to easy to not care to easy to fall back into my bottle of whiskey that washes all the bad dreams the bad feelings and the bad things that i have done away

i want to stay here i want to live here i want to be happy

but sometimes i wonder if it really is all that easy

its so much easier to not care to do what i want to not give a fuck

being back with the only person i have ever loved has been the most exhilarating amazing and happiest time of my life in the last 2 years but at the same time i feel like i might be robbing her of what she wants and what she needs

i love her i need her and want to be with her

but at the same time i cant take the fighting the words and the hitting at some point i will break and i will hurt her and i dont wanna hurt someone i love

i dont know what the hell to do but either way i will feel awful

i need to post some new pictures cause i look nothing like i used to

but i dont really have any pictures of myself to post

so lets continue to pretend i am bald

So as always i have been really busy with work. So much so that i no longer even have time to go out to the bars or anything like that. what lil extra time i have i spend with my amazing girlfriend leelee. fuckin love that broad so much

I just bought a 2001 ford e250 white rape van for work its pretty much fuckin awesome i love haven a big van makes my life so much easier. so with that money gone i am currently saving again to get my bike. sucks that i had to buy a new van cause i was so close to buying my motorcycle. but hey i am workin alot of hours right now so in about a month or so i should have enough money to buy a bike that i can put some hours in on sell and then buy an even bigger bike.

i miss all my lovely sg lil fuck heads but i have been entirely way to busy to play with you fuckin queers

well kids thats all i got to say for a while

beat it up

so alot of things have been changing for me lately and i love every single one of the changes cause its what i have wanted for the last 2years but wasnt man enough to admit it to myself

i moved out of mayhem manor (our lease is up) and it couldnt be soon enough there was so much bowlshit going on at my house that i could barely stand it..

nothing with jacob but just the other fags that we have allowed to move in that we should never have..

the best thing about my new life is that i am back together with the only person i have ever loved. my baby lili is back and we are better than we could have been years ago. i grew up and changed and she changed to and now with the love we used to have combined with our new love we are an unstopable force of awesome.

i havent been around alot lately cause i have been working like a madman. and when i aint working i am ussually sleeping or going out for a munch deserved night out with my girl

i have missed all my sg friends very much just know that i am doing awesome and i am super turbo fuckin happy

i have been a busy dude as i always am and yeah i guess i am back together with THE X LILI

if u know me well and known me for a while then u know her

other than i am really sick today i cant breath for some reason and i feel like someone is stabbing me in the chest

FML

so i took the morning off might try and man up and go into work later

they made a movie about a "haunted" street that i grew up less than half a mile from...... ITS NOT FUCKIN HAUNTED TRUST ME

so my crazy work schedule is comen to a close for a month or 2 which means a few things

i gotta get back in the gym

get back on a diet

and do a cycle of steroids.... yes i am gonna juice NO I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT U SAY

oh and get sober for 10 weeks cause u arent supposed to drink when ur on the juice

and catch up with all my sg peoples