Lately I've been pondering this dialogue from the 1970's television series Kung Fu, which includes parts of Taoist scripture:

"Master, I observe others, and they seem to know the way."

"Do you?"

"I am puzzled and unsure. I move one way and then another, to no purpose."

"...and therefore, grieve?"

"Yes, master."

"The sage has said, 'Others are contented. I alone am drifting, not knowing where I am. I'm alone, without a place to go. I am different. I am nourished by the Great Mother.' In an uncertain hour, the wise man acknowledges uncertainty."

This applies to my ever-conflicting thoughts on pursuing either the life of a completely unattached wanderer, or a life that involves commitment to people or places. Of course, timing is important... as I've not only just turned 24 and am beginning to feel personal "responsibility" weigh on myself, but also, I am running out of things to "reason" and feel I must pursue experience, whatever the choice. In other words, sitting here thinking about such things is not what I want to be doing year after year until opportunity has passed, right?

So far, I feel I've shown that I'm suited well-enough to either, or maybe to some mix of the two... and if I could strike that balance and find contentment, I would. As it is, I want both parts of both.

But, inside, the deepest longing of my heart is to wander. For today, I am far too afraid to satisfy my longing.

Lately I've been pondering this dialogue from the 1970's television series Kung Fu, which includes parts of Taoist scripture:

"Master, I observe others, and they seem to know the way."

"Do you?"

"I am puzzled and unsure. I move one way and then another, to no purpose."

"...and therefore, grieve?"

"Yes, master."

"The sage has said, 'Others are contented. I alone am drifting, not knowing where I am. I'm alone, without a place to go. I am different. I am nourished by the Great Mother.' In an uncertain hour, the wise man acknowledges uncertainty."

This applies to my ever-conflicting thoughts on pursuing either the life of a completely unattached wanderer, or a life that involves commitment to people or places. Of course, timing is important... as I've not only just turned 24 and am beginning to feel personal "responsibility" weigh on myself, but also, I am running out of things to "reason" and feel I must pursue experience, whatever the choice. In other words, sitting here thinking about such things is not what I want to be doing year after year until opportunity has passed, right?

So far, I feel I've shown that I'm suited well-enough to either, or maybe to some mix of the two... and if I could strike that balance and find contentment, I would. As it is, I want both parts of both.

But, inside, the deepest longing of my heart is to wander. For today, I am far too afraid to satisfy my longing.