Member: CarlSchmidt

CarlSchmidt sucks

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Member: CarlSchmidt
Member: CarlSchmidtMember: CarlSchmidtMember: CarlSchmidt

age: 29 (Oct 25, 1982)

MEMBER SINCE: May 2009

occupation: Boeing Lacky

crush: I actually don't have any right now. Crushes are for the weak.

heroes: Most of them have been dead for well over 200 years now.

gets me hot: The sun.

sign: Astrology is for the weak

makes me happy: Alcohol, sex, music, hanging out with work buddies, pretending I might amount to something when I decide to grow up. Dogs. I love dogs.

most humbling moment: Sitting in jail for a day, listening to all the fucked up shit everyone else has to go through, which made my situation look rather up-and-up.

i lost my virginity: Well, I lost my blowjob virginity when I was 21, sad I know. I actually got laid a couple of years after that. Even more sad, really I know. The same girl too! HAHA what a late intro to sex I had.

fantasy: That someone might actually find me amusing, attractive, and want to sit down and talk to me to find out about myself some day. I bet you were expecting a sick sexual fantasy.

stats: I'm hairy, I'm straight most of the time, uh, yeah. I'm pretty fat, despite losing forty pounds. I could stand to lose another hundred.

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JUNE 27, 2009 @ 10:04 AM | NO COMMENTS


A man I work with, Kieran, got me started on this fitness regimen known as CrossFit. It is the absolute, complete, and utter shit. It is exactly what I have been waiting for in my life. It is pricey, which sucks, but well worth it. I take three personal training sessions to bring me up to speed with the ideals of the regimen, and then I take classes ranging from once to unlimited times a week. It's entirely up to how much I want to spend. So for $120 a month with a 12 month commitment I get unlimited access. I'm considering that option.

Basically what CrossFit boils down to is functional performance. Any workout I ever read about included a bunch of fixed motion movements and typically isolated individual muscles. CrossFit uses what they call a core-to-extremity idea of working out. Everything done involves the core because in real life there are few things you would do that didn't involve your core. Your core means your back, hips, and abdominals. My legs are my most powerful area of my body. I have tree trunks for thighs and hips. One dude at work once said to me, "Dude, your fucking legs are nearly as big as my entire body." He was commenting on the bruises I received from a nasty tumble I took on my bicycle, and he observed that my legs are enormous.

Sadly, the rest of me is probably enormous but covered in layers of fat. Mind you, my legs are covered in fat too, but not as badly. So that's where CrossFit is going to come in. I get very personal attention and motivation from their trainers. There are typically three trainers per class and very rarely more than fifteen people in a class. This is perfect. I already feel better about myself. The workouts are short and to the point with a warm-up that takes a good bit out of you on its own.

I have unique challenges because of my current size. I cannot do pullups or pushups yet. I weigh 330 pounds, which is already ten pounds lighter in two weeks. I drop weight quickly when I exert...
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