That party was the best.....ish
There was this one part where Tom made 1 phone call. Which led to 17 girls coming, and they showed up a lil early. You can, in fact, have too many girls. It gets awkward as hell and you cant remember who is interested in who. But it balanced out. I've never made calls to get guys to a party before.
N
E
Ways
Having another get together tonight. Smaller, just playing rock band and ordering pizza with a few friends. Then I might be enticed to go to Hell. Not sure tho. Open invitation. Gets over her
There was this one part where Tom made 1 phone call. Which led to 17 girls coming, and they showed up a lil early. You can, in fact, have too many girls. It gets awkward as hell and you cant remember who is interested in who. But it balanced out. I've never made calls to get guys to a party before.
N
E
Ways
Having another get together tonight. Smaller, just playing rock band and ordering pizza with a few friends. Then I might be enticed to go to Hell. Not sure tho. Open invitation. Gets over her
Having a get together here that I'm hoping will become overcrowded 
. Bat signal to all SGs in the providence area, graba case and head over. Or go club, turn down some asshole who doesnt know how to use his hands, and then after party here. Try your hand at beating our champion Beirut player Mike, or lose to me at poker and xbox. Someone will be lucky enough to crash with me on my $3000 french pillow bed. God I hope it's not Mike. Posters here will get additional information
Cap signing off
. Bat signal to all SGs in the providence area, graba case and head over. Or go club, turn down some asshole who doesnt know how to use his hands, and then after party here. Try your hand at beating our champion Beirut player Mike, or lose to me at poker and xbox. Someone will be lucky enough to crash with me on my $3000 french pillow bed. God I hope it's not Mike. Posters here will get additional informationCap signing off
The Cap is signing off.
I had fun here. It made me feel better to write here. And as I'm sure most of you have figured out not everything I've written here has been true. Stories were made to entertain, to daydream. To forget how I really feel by making you all smile at something I made up.
But someone got hurt. Someone is having trouble separating Superman from Clark Kent. And I cant blame them, and never wanted to hurt them.
I'll find another way to feel good. Take care.
Cap
I had fun here. It made me feel better to write here. And as I'm sure most of you have figured out not everything I've written here has been true. Stories were made to entertain, to daydream. To forget how I really feel by making you all smile at something I made up.
But someone got hurt. Someone is having trouble separating Superman from Clark Kent. And I cant blame them, and never wanted to hurt them.
I'll find another way to feel good. Take care.
Cap
Boys & Girls Guide to Getting Down
Very Entertaining film. Chicks were cute but then out of left field there'd be a damn SG worthy on screen and I'd forget the plot for 3 minutes. I really need to get laid. Maybe I made a mistake moving back here when I don't really know anyone around here anymore. And then again, maybe it's only been a month and I'm just being a sap.
<sigh>
O and I had a badass beerpong night. And got invited to and afterparty beerpong night. I got eaten alive by misquitoes. And I now have a fanclub of girls who are girlfriends......which gets me nothing. O well. There's always tomorrow
Very Entertaining film. Chicks were cute but then out of left field there'd be a damn SG worthy on screen and I'd forget the plot for 3 minutes. I really need to get laid. Maybe I made a mistake moving back here when I don't really know anyone around here anymore. And then again, maybe it's only been a month and I'm just being a sap.
<sigh>
O and I had a badass beerpong night. And got invited to and afterparty beerpong night. I got eaten alive by misquitoes. And I now have a fanclub of girls who are girlfriends......which gets me nothing. O well. There's always tomorrow
Is finding it ironic that members from all over the globe are stumbling upon his little piece of SG, and are even interested enough to Friend request (Doubt it). But I can't seem to meet anyone to chill with around here.
Can't figure out how to work AIM. Unless you actually know the persons AIM you've got nothing. How do you meet people with the same interests, like with Yahoo.
Have you ever discovered something about yourself that changed EVERYTHING?
Not an epiphany per se, because that implies an overpowering answer to a question. This is more like a very bright and exposing light showing you things you didn't question or want to know.
Find out you were gay? Or had a medical condition? How about adopted?
Suddenly you look back at everything and it's all different. Like watching a foreign film a second time after you've learned the language. Same memory, same images, VERY different observations.
A few weeks ago I was watching tv. I like certain kind of shows more than others. This new show touches the same topic I've seen a hundred times before. But the character says something different. To be specific, he fucking quoted a lot of the things I say in my head.
I always knew I was different, but..........
TV is unreliable, especially fictional representations. So what's next?
Wikipedia.
That was an unsettling read.
Next is some governmentmedicalplace.com. Official site, full of definitions, symptoms, etc
"This is me"
So now I know what I am. But I have so many questions. And as much as I would welcome being wrong or over reacting, I know I'm not. There's that giving up feeling. You know that feeling when you realize something unwanted is true and your shoulders sag and you just......stop fighting it. You know it's true. I know it's true. But everything I read says I HAVE to behave a certain way. Do certain things. Want certain wants. I don't. Some of it is so spot on, but some of it isn't. I hope this means something possitive. Some of these syptoms are there but some of these things I don't experience.
But here's the main concern. If it's true, it's not going away. I'm gonna be like this forever. It's both bad and good. I've spent my whole life trying to fix something while at the same time hide it from everyone. And they see it. You meet me and somethings....off. Now I know I can't fix it, so there's this .....relief that I don't have to try anymore. Then there's the other part of it.
I have to lie, forever. Wear a mask, forever. Fake it, forever. I don't want to do that. I don't want to lie, and fake, and pretend, and betray. I don't want to constantly make promises my lie requires, knowing I will always be faking. Never actually, being on the same page as people around me. Alone in a room of people. Wanting to relate, knowing I never can, but with practice I can make them think I can.
I don't want to buy donuts everyday and smile.
Of course I can't tell anyone. I can't tell you. A site full of straights, gays, modified, openminded everthings and I can't tell you what I am. Cuz that's the one thing that's taboo everywhere. Even though I'm not hurting anyone.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I have something "close" to it. Maybe the differences are the KEY differences that make me ok. But I don't think so. I was convinced before I had even finished reading. They were practically writing about me.
Not an epiphany per se, because that implies an overpowering answer to a question. This is more like a very bright and exposing light showing you things you didn't question or want to know.
Find out you were gay? Or had a medical condition? How about adopted?
Suddenly you look back at everything and it's all different. Like watching a foreign film a second time after you've learned the language. Same memory, same images, VERY different observations.
A few weeks ago I was watching tv. I like certain kind of shows more than others. This new show touches the same topic I've seen a hundred times before. But the character says something different. To be specific, he fucking quoted a lot of the things I say in my head.
I always knew I was different, but..........
TV is unreliable, especially fictional representations. So what's next?
Wikipedia.
That was an unsettling read.
Next is some governmentmedicalplace.com. Official site, full of definitions, symptoms, etc
"This is me"
So now I know what I am. But I have so many questions. And as much as I would welcome being wrong or over reacting, I know I'm not. There's that giving up feeling. You know that feeling when you realize something unwanted is true and your shoulders sag and you just......stop fighting it. You know it's true. I know it's true. But everything I read says I HAVE to behave a certain way. Do certain things. Want certain wants. I don't. Some of it is so spot on, but some of it isn't. I hope this means something possitive. Some of these syptoms are there but some of these things I don't experience.
But here's the main concern. If it's true, it's not going away. I'm gonna be like this forever. It's both bad and good. I've spent my whole life trying to fix something while at the same time hide it from everyone. And they see it. You meet me and somethings....off. Now I know I can't fix it, so there's this .....relief that I don't have to try anymore. Then there's the other part of it.
I have to lie, forever. Wear a mask, forever. Fake it, forever. I don't want to do that. I don't want to lie, and fake, and pretend, and betray. I don't want to constantly make promises my lie requires, knowing I will always be faking. Never actually, being on the same page as people around me. Alone in a room of people. Wanting to relate, knowing I never can, but with practice I can make them think I can.
I don't want to buy donuts everyday and smile.
Of course I can't tell anyone. I can't tell you. A site full of straights, gays, modified, openminded everthings and I can't tell you what I am. Cuz that's the one thing that's taboo everywhere. Even though I'm not hurting anyone.
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I have something "close" to it. Maybe the differences are the KEY differences that make me ok. But I don't think so. I was convinced before I had even finished reading. They were practically writing about me.
