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cancersticker

NYC

Member Since 2007

Followers 11 Following 13

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Thursday Nov 15, 2007

Nov 14, 2007
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Oddity of all oddities, I've decided to quit smoking.. reefer too. there's a few reasons.

Firstly I feel like a tool needing something to help me get through my day,

Second, hard as it is to believe, I acknowledge that there are people out there who don't want me to die a slow painful death. I admit to being an insufferable jerk, but I don't think the right way to thank people for caring whether or not I live or die is to reduce myself to human rubble.

Third, is the rather predictable reason most guys change anything about themselves, I met a girl who seems to like me well enough, and vocally dislikes the vices I'm kicking. I like her more than nicotine and THC, call me whatever emasculating thing you like, but I'm rather happy to have the companionship of an attractive young woman I can respect without making any excuses... In fact I'm not sure respect is even the right word, I think so highly of her as a human being I feel inherently reprehensible when I compare our histories. She is too good for me, but I'm going to take full advantage of all this motivation to better myself before she realizes I'm right. Such are the virtues of self loathing that can only come from being raised Catholic.

Last is probably the most considerate reason I've got; my dog. I love him more than any human who's entered my life in the last 2 decades. The last thing my Jackie boy needs is health complications resulting from my bad habits... Enough said on that.


My kooky scientologist friends have taken it on themselves to apply their psychobabble moonspeak to my current situation, and it's the first time any of it's made any sense, they used made up words to express the fact that I'm generally going to be an angrier bastard until I find a healthier way to vent my pent up "charge"
Unfortunately acting as a natural predator of the insipid is still illegal. If I were allowed I could do such a fantastic service to the human gene pool it's not even funny, here in TX there's so much opportunity in that respect, but I have a sneaking suspicion the justice department wouldn't buy it. I still need to figure out how I'm going to make this work without ripping peoples faces off on a regular basis.

So I'm in 3 days without inhaling any burning plant matter, it's nearly 8 AM, I have to go to work a double shift in 3 hours, and I couldn't sleep. I really need to find a way to vent all of my aggression without taking it out on somebody who doesn't deserve it... I'm thinking about joining a gun club... Obliterating stationary objects with machines that involve fire, molten metal, and lots of noise sounds like a lot of fun, only thing that's holding me back is the sorts of people I would expect to be members of a gun club. I don't need to feel like I'm going to a Republican party indoctrination every time I meet the people I'm trying to vent aggression with, that'd just be counterproductive.

I'll figure it out soon...

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