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Once a week... Day 18
So I had an interesting week. On Tuesday and Wednesday I totally fell off my wagon. Hard enough to stay steady, but I had a very sexual weekend and by Tuesday I couldn't handle it anymore. Understand that I mean I went elsewhere than this site; I don't experience the same drastic drop in spirits when I come here. And drop I did, I was the lowest I've been since starting this on Wednesday and Thursday, more self doubt, more anxiety. My housemate brought home some girl friends on Thursday, and I couldn't talk to them. I mean that literally, I would try and think of something to say, and nothing would come to mind. This is the problem I've had for as long as I can remember and it pretty much stopped being an issue on day 2. So to have it come back so strongly was quite the shock; I return from that shock a new man.though, my resolve has been doubled.
It helps that I've met a wonderful woman who gets everything. It was the contrast of meeting her, and the girls on Thursday that really helped drive home the lesson. Not sure what will come of this, but it's a complete turnaround for me. It was part of the reason I fell off the wagon, and now it's going to be a big part of why I'm done.
Once a week... Day 18
So I had an interesting week. On Tuesday and Wednesday I totally fell off my wagon. Hard enough to stay steady, but I had a very sexual weekend and by Tuesday I couldn't handle it anymore. Understand that I mean I went elsewhere than this site; I don't experience the same drastic drop in spirits when I come here. And drop I did, I was the lowest I've been since starting this on Wednesday and Thursday, more self doubt, more anxiety. My housemate brought home some girl friends on Thursday, and I couldn't talk to them. I mean that literally, I would try and think of something to say, and nothing would come to mind. This is the problem I've had for as long as I can remember and it pretty much stopped being an issue on day 2. So to have it come back so strongly was quite the shock; I return from that shock a new man.though, my resolve has been doubled.
It helps that I've met a wonderful woman who gets everything. It was the contrast of meeting her, and the girls on Thursday that really helped drive home the lesson. Not sure what will come of this, but it's a complete turnaround for me. It was part of the reason I fell off the wagon, and now it's going to be a big part of why I'm done.
So I had an interesting week. On Tuesday and Wednesday I totally fell off my wagon. Hard enough to stay steady, but I had a very sexual weekend and by Tuesday I couldn't handle it anymore. Understand that I mean I went elsewhere than this site; I don't experience the same drastic drop in spirits when I come here. And drop I did, I was the lowest I've been since starting this on Wednesday and Thursday, more self doubt, more anxiety. My housemate brought home some girl friends on Thursday, and I couldn't talk to them. I mean that literally, I would try and think of something to say, and nothing would come to mind. This is the problem I've had for as long as I can remember and it pretty much stopped being an issue on day 2. So to have it come back so strongly was quite the shock; I return from that shock a new man.though, my resolve has been doubled.
It helps that I've met a wonderful woman who gets everything. It was the contrast of meeting her, and the girls on Thursday that really helped drive home the lesson. Not sure what will come of this, but it's a complete turnaround for me. It was part of the reason I fell off the wagon, and now it's going to be a big part of why I'm done.