OK, I am still at home and bored, so I will write the 1,000th journal entry for today. Besides, my last journal entry gushing over how cool my little sis is somehow sounded like an Always commercial, I don't know why. My friend the Rent-A-Cop came over and asked me all about the encounter with C-Dogg, he was so excited and wants me to get my frickin' camera developed immediately.
"And then she hugged me and called me SWEETIE! Yaaaay! Lawwwl..." -Me
"Yeah...when they call you sweetie that's when you KNOW it's strictly platonic." -Julia
"....dammit!!!!!" **shakes fist angrily** -Me
LOL. I felt like one of those dying kids in the make-a-wish foundation and meeting the celebrity Claudia was my last hope...**hack, cough** "I...I just wish I could meet her...once before I die..." **hack** Oh yeah, if any of you somehow missed out on the Claudia story, go back a couple of journal entries, it was fun.
Today my best friend and I were talking about dating and I am going to start making demands. NOW. Some people call them "standards". Here's my criteria:
(1) Decently attractive. No, she does not have to be a supermodel size 0, but she absolutely cannot have back hair and an inverted nipple...god, there wasn't even an excuse for that last time. Oh yeah, and she has to bathe consistently, I like girls that smell good.
(2) Right-hearted. I want somebody who treats the whole world well, not just me.
(3) Intelligent/slightly philisophical. I refuse to date someone who repeated their freshman year in college twice again.
(4) Grounded. Someone who is in tune with their sexuality and knows what they want to do in life. Not a drug addict or alcoholic. For this, I may need to meet an older girl, possibly around 22 or so, that is done with all of this. I have no problem dating someone who drinks or smokes now and then...but if they are a barfly pothead like my ex, that seems to be shaky ground.
(5) Hilariously funny. In a witty way, slightly sarcastic, above all random. I need someone to laugh with.
(6) Fashionable (optional). OK, sorry, this isn't really a requirement, but good fashion is definitely a turn on.
(7) Always horny. (Again, optional). Also not a requirement, but would be VERY cool.
(8) Artistic. Either a painter, poet, or musician. I need someone with a flair for the arts.
(9) Faithful. I refuse to be anybody's prison bitch this time around.
(10) Romantic spoiler. I want to be the princess for once, I always buy the dinners and gifts. I want to be worshipped like a fucking goddess. It would be nice to be spoiled and cuddled. We'll take turns. Spoil me and then i'll spoil you. Even Steven.
There. I refuse to accept anybody who does not give into my demands, I am holding the lesbian community of SF hostage. Mwahahahahahahaha. Don't even THINK about grabbing my ass until you fit all ten. End transmission.
"And then she hugged me and called me SWEETIE! Yaaaay! Lawwwl..." -Me
"Yeah...when they call you sweetie that's when you KNOW it's strictly platonic." -Julia
"....dammit!!!!!" **shakes fist angrily** -Me
LOL. I felt like one of those dying kids in the make-a-wish foundation and meeting the celebrity Claudia was my last hope...**hack, cough** "I...I just wish I could meet her...once before I die..." **hack** Oh yeah, if any of you somehow missed out on the Claudia story, go back a couple of journal entries, it was fun.
Today my best friend and I were talking about dating and I am going to start making demands. NOW. Some people call them "standards". Here's my criteria:
(1) Decently attractive. No, she does not have to be a supermodel size 0, but she absolutely cannot have back hair and an inverted nipple...god, there wasn't even an excuse for that last time. Oh yeah, and she has to bathe consistently, I like girls that smell good.
(2) Right-hearted. I want somebody who treats the whole world well, not just me.
(3) Intelligent/slightly philisophical. I refuse to date someone who repeated their freshman year in college twice again.
(4) Grounded. Someone who is in tune with their sexuality and knows what they want to do in life. Not a drug addict or alcoholic. For this, I may need to meet an older girl, possibly around 22 or so, that is done with all of this. I have no problem dating someone who drinks or smokes now and then...but if they are a barfly pothead like my ex, that seems to be shaky ground.
(5) Hilariously funny. In a witty way, slightly sarcastic, above all random. I need someone to laugh with.
(6) Fashionable (optional). OK, sorry, this isn't really a requirement, but good fashion is definitely a turn on.
(7) Always horny. (Again, optional). Also not a requirement, but would be VERY cool.
(8) Artistic. Either a painter, poet, or musician. I need someone with a flair for the arts.
(9) Faithful. I refuse to be anybody's prison bitch this time around.
(10) Romantic spoiler. I want to be the princess for once, I always buy the dinners and gifts. I want to be worshipped like a fucking goddess. It would be nice to be spoiled and cuddled. We'll take turns. Spoil me and then i'll spoil you. Even Steven.
There. I refuse to accept anybody who does not give into my demands, I am holding the lesbian community of SF hostage. Mwahahahahahahaha. Don't even THINK about grabbing my ass until you fit all ten. End transmission.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
alpha:
i know this girl who is ugly, smells bad, is dim-witted, ungrounded, not funny whatsoever, unfashionalble unartistic, unromantic (m akes wheezing noises alot. but she is faithful as a piece of toast (what does that have to do with anything?). you want to meet her?
bionicfemme:
LOL! The girl you just described sounds like all of the girls I end up dating (minus the faithful part)