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bionicfemme

Member Since 2002

Followers 82 Following 46

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Monday Jul 15, 2002

Jul 15, 2002
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Haha...Spooky emailed me and said I should apply to be an SG. What a compliment. No way I can compare with the likes of the true SG princesses, like Dia and Claudia. Who knows, I may try it out anyway as part of some sort of personal liberation. That would be the only reason I would ever pose nude; to prove to myself that i'm not ashamed of anything anymore. Oh by the way, i'm putting my new profile pic up so you can see my new haircut, whoo hoo!

Ach, I'm a complete idiot. I woke up this morning and listened to N's mixtape that she made when we first started dating. I haven't listened to it since we broke up, afraid it would hurt too much. So since we talked yesterday, my opinion of her has become a little higher since she had the balls to own up to being a complete jerk-face. I put in the tape and I got this weird feeling i've never had before. It was pain, but a sweet kind of pain...it swelled up in my chest and filled me with a sort of Euphoric nostalgia, so much that I was hurt so badly and at the same time felt warm and complete. I can't explain this emotion. Maybe it sounds slightly masochistic. I doubt I will encounter this feeling too many more times in my life. I miss N and the way her long, soft, brown hair smells like flowers...so much that I had to decline her offer to accompany her to Metropolis this Saturday. I simply cannot go anywhere with her; I doubt we can only be friends and that the outing could possibly end in any other way than resulting in mad fucking in the back seat of her blue firebird. She causes my mind and my body to hurt like nothing ever has before. I feel like I can't walk away and can't go back to her, like I am stuck in some sort of romantic purgatory. She has no idea how much I still think of her and how much I still love her, because whenever she calls and flirts with me, I change the subject to something that has nothing to do with anything. I can't show her how weak I am on the inside. I'll keep pretending to be stonefaced and independent, when the whole time i'm reveling in how her kisses taste like an infantile dream...little does she know that now I dwell in some sort of land filled with ice caves and hungry beasts, with crystaline trees arching their hungry, bony fingers to the sky for retribution.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
digdug:
I was just teasing you, but thanks for the complements. Right now, I am working on some banners and there are a couple of other girls that I wanted to get to before I made another one of claudia. But, who knows, I might get around to it this weekend. I know what you mean about claudia. rrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Jul 15, 2002
bionicfemme:
Mmm, Claudia...**lawwwl** (sound Homer makes when he sees a donut). It's just not legal, to have a girl that hot, intelligent, and funny at the same time. I didn't think it was genetically possible. And yet both Claudia and Dia have proven to me that the fabled Uberwomen really do exist, and they are both on suicidegirls.com of all places.
Jul 15, 2002

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