I went to a French cafe to chill today, brought a literary magazine...drank a raspberry white truffle mocha and smoked a vanilla Camel Crema. Felt very posh and indulgent.
So i'm becoming a nicotene addict. Smoking makes me feel "together," like i'm more focused and productive. Man, when I smoke I get shit DONE! And i'm developing that husky sexy smoker's voice i've always wanted...too bad my throat hurts all the time now...
The way I perceive things when smoking is much more concentrated and intense; I don't receive things around me in some sort of intangible, rapidly flowing broth of happenings. I can't smoke without coffee though, or else it tastes like shit.
For the first time in my life lately, I feel in control. Ever since that night when I realized love was just an electrical impulse, I've come to the conclusion that it's just an experience, like any other. You smoke and get an experience. You drink and get an experience. You play Final Fantasy and you get an experience. Not being in love is a lack of one experience, but there are hundreds of other things you could do to fill that gap. I want to do as many new things as possible so I can fill that lack of experience with many other new ones, which is why i'm going to London and Paris this summer, hopefully. And I'm still working on submitting stuff to my two fave lit magazines very soon. Making things right now is key.
Looks like i'm a big girl. I've cast off things that were too small for me.
Now I drink, smoke, and use tampons.
MAY 20, 2003 08:09 PM
MAY 20, 2003 08:16 PM
Yeah I do the same but I reverse the cigarettes and the tampons
Just kidding I like your idea on love though, the only problem is that it is one of those electrical impulses that has like a billion volts to it and it recharges
MAY 20, 2003 08:35 PM
*sniff*
our little Bionic Femme...all grown up..vices and ALL!
*sniff*
well at least you are smoking Camels! mmmm Camels. I only smoke when the mood and environment screams for it. when I was in Italy I HAD to smoke! How are those new Camels anyhow?
I remember your recorded thing when you said you were gonna have to smoke something like 12,000 cigars to get that voice you wanted.
actually...I have it saved on my computer...that and a few other ones. I'm surprised that thread died out.
cigs also taste good with a good red wine...Shiraz and Merlot work well...or with a good smokey Tennessee sippin' whiskey.
no having love is not a lack of an experience. it is the experience of not having love. and it's an important one to have had...at least I like to think it is. otherwise...well. I don't want to think about it
I hope you get to Europe. London is good. Paris is special...but I would encourage you to get to Rome (or at least Italy) and perhaps Prague. Prague would amaze you...and it is SOOOOOO cheap.
*wishing you best of many things*
*hugs*
v
tarbaby
I'm lost
April 2003
MAY 20, 2003 09:08 PM
MAY 20, 2003 09:14 PM
MAY 20, 2003 09:18 PM
merf...going to another country for summer. doh...
but yes i am an animal..i like to be a kat more than anything... 
MAY 20, 2003 09:26 PM
MAY 20, 2003 09:30 PM
jasonxstar
Santa Rosa, CA
April 2003
MAY 20, 2003 10:39 PM
MAY 20, 2003 10:47 PM
hello love...yay for experience. i know you'll do wonderfully on your final tomorrow. let me know i can go be indulgent with you afterward tomorrow (although i have to work at 5)...
my dreams on the beach were scattered today... and lately, as you well know. it seems i fell asleep to the soft lull of a tesseract some time ago and then earth is changing under my bare feet. it's starting shake...wish me luck.
come to london in october...you'll have someone there for you. namely me...
