"this man needs help"

"The haze clears and You see the impish grin beam out at You from the smoggy air like the chesire cat from alice in wonderland. Is it a cat, a bird or a plane, No its smoking budda. A cool dude even if You cant breath in the same room as Him."

"The Greatest man in the world"

"this guy totally has cooties... and if he actually doesn't i plan on giving a bunch!
like bunches of bunches of cooties and kooties!"

"He is Voodoo
he is mojo
he is baked ham"

"makes my heart sing and dance with giddy stoner love. then, the winks and giggling like a schoolgirl."

"Professor DaBear's handbook, Ten Thousand Important Questions for the Modern Gentleman, issued in monthly parts from October 1889 on, contained vital subjects as: "Is dancing, as usually conducted, compatible with a high standard of morality?"; "Was the purchase of Alaska by this government wise?"; "Does the study of physical sciences militate against religious belief?"; "Has our government a right to disfranchise the polygamists of Utah?"

Not satisfied with resolving these questions, and many others of equal import, by 1894 he began to address such issues as: "Is there a purpose to existence?" and "What is the composition of the Philosopher's Stone?"

At this time DaBear began to complain of being followed by women with the faces of animals, primarily hippopotami. All copies of the latter installments of his handbook were bought up by an anonymous cartel, and destroyed, and shortly thereafter DaBear was removed to a private asylum. He is still there, and he has not aged, although on the advice of a long-dead physician his tongue was surgically, and he is permitted no writing materials."