okay, so I'm living up in richmond now... and I'm really surprised that my SG account is still active. Anyways... I'm having a great time. POOP.

I got an appartment!!! I'm moving to Richmond in a few weeks. The guys I'm moving in with are a bit strange, but they seem really nice, and I don't think they'll bother me and stuff. I can't wait! Its' gonna be freaking sweet! It's in a beautiful area on Monument ave. in richmond.

wow, I wish I had the balls and the narcicism to kill myself right now. I fucking got my drivers license suspended and an $800.00 fine. For me that's A LOT of money, and to not have my license means that I can't go out, and I have to find someone to drive me to work and school. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I want to steal a ship and live in international waters and be a pirate ARRRR!

Wow, I just had an interesting night. My nights are always interesting when I'm on amphetamines.

This could get wordy, cuz I'm still high. (6:00 a.m.)

Okay, so I went up to the Nanci Raygun in Richmond to see this band RPG, and They were good. Well On my way up to richmond I had this wild idea to throw a giant party this summer on the property that my mom just moved on to in Williamsburg. I'm thinking of inviting like 10 to 20 bands to come play it (my band included) and we're just gonna have an all day outdoor rockn'roll festival. I've already gotten 3 bands interested (lol, the 3 bands I sawtonight
)... okay... well that idea was just the beginning of my interesting night.

I got to the raygun, and there was like 5 people there.... Then all of a sudden it got really crowded... and it was a good time. I hung out with my friend BeerO who is sort of a bouncer there. That was just a plain-ole fun time.
When the show was over, I talked to this guy who is one of the stage actors in Gwar. He was ghe guy who invented GorGor the Dragon, and I think he said his name was Tim? I don't remember. But he gave me a whole bunch of tips on how to go about setting up my festival, which was really cool of him, and he said that he'd help me promote it too

Then at around 2:00 I left the club. I got in my car and started to drive home. I got a half a block down the road, until I saw this girl in the street trying to hitch a ride for her and her guy-friend. It was freezing cold, and she didn't have a jacket on, so I offered her and her friend a ride home. SHe told me there was a little get-together at her place and that I should come hang out and drink with them. I quit drinking, a few weeks ago, so I didn't drink, but I did hang out. I talked with these people and just, you know, chilled with them for a while... then two people left. When they left, I realized that I was alone in this woman's house! She came back downstairs a little while later with this piss-drunk guy named tony. We continued to talk about music and stuff for a while, until this woman abruptly cut me off, mid-sentence. She said, "Okay, well, my friend here wants to go to sleep now on the couch, and tony and I are going upstairs to fuck. So... you have to leave now." and You know, it wasn't so much that she was rude to me when she said that that bothered me... It was the fact that I had learned earlier from one of the other people in the room that this woman was married, and that her husband works the graveyard shift at some computer company. I feel like such a naive dork when shit like that happens, because it doesn't seem like that shit should really happen. Despite my horrid cynisism I have this pre-set thought that people are good deep down inside... It's always so shocking to me when I see people just flat out disregard other people's feelings... and it makes me wonder just how common it is. How common is it for a woman to be married and show no respect for her vows; no respect for her husband's feelings about her? I dunno the answer... but it makes me sick to my stomach to think how rampant that problem is... because I know how common it is among men, and that's disgusted me for years. Bah... whatever. Everyone Dies Alone... I just think it would be nice for people not to feel like they have to live their lives alone... People like me... I'm not lonely because nobody talks to me. I'm lonely because I feel alone in the world as far as my morals go... Yet at the same time, my morals are based on the most basic of most RELIGIOUS morals, which is, "Don' fuck with me, I won't fuck yout. Treat me nice; I treat you nice. Hey!" It's kind of Ironic how a lot of religious people don't hold true to that kind of saying, but people as anti-religion as me stick by it through and through, no matter how much I get shitted on for it. Bah... humbug. I wish I could just give in to being a dumbshit conformist who wants nothing more out of life than money, security, extending lineage, and someone of the opposite sex to fuck whenever I please.

DAMN YOU, UNIVERSE, FOR GIVING ME SUCH CRAPPY BRAIN CHEMISTRY!

I hate it.

Oh well... That's why people like me turn to drugs. It's just a shame I have to find something different than alcohol, and isn't as easily detectable as weed... Oh yeah! Adderall! FUCK YEAH! Thanks for the totally sweet recreational prescription drug! You fucking highway robbery drug-cartel/corporation mother fuckers! (I realize that noone from the drug corporations will read that... I'm just expressing my feelings toward them.

After not sleeping for a long time, and being on drugs, I feel like it's a good time to write music. Peace out! I hope someone endured this long ass journal entry to find the good in it... if there is any

I saw donnie Darko today. As most everyone already knows, its an amazing movie...

I talked to my ex-girlfriend on AIM today too. That was pretty cool, because we just chatted like friends. No drama or anything. We just shot the shit about weather, life, the universe and everything. She's a cool chica, and as much as I miss being with her, I know it's for the best to just stay friends.

I'm also happy, because I've been developing my plan for moving to LA a little bit more. Instead of moving there in january like I had originally been planning, I'm gonna move in with my dad up in maryland for a few months and work full time so that I can have a surplus of money when I finally make my journey. EEK! can't wait! I just wanna get away from williamsburg. This place fucking blows. I've lived in 5 other cities throughout my lifetime, and williamsburg is by far the worst... as far as the people are concerned and as far as how much there is to do. I wish I could grow to the size of paul bunion and vomit so huge that it'd flood the town in bile and chunks of pepperjack cheese. huh huh, that'd be cool.

Today I realized that I have something to feel lucky about.
I feel lucky to KNOW that I'm physically and probably socially unappealing to the opposite sex. It makes me feel free of doubts as to whether or not someone thinks I'm attractive. It makes it so I don't have to think, "Hey! I wonder if I have a chance with this really beautiful girl?!"
...because I already know the answer. It's "NO! " And I feel lucky that I'm not half-decent looking, because I do not have to worry about what side of decent/indecent looking I am.

It does put me off when I get the 1 in a billion comments about how I'm not bad looking, or the one in 6 billion comments about how I'm actually good looking, because all of a sudden, I'm all like, "Hey WOAH-Man!... Did you forget to rub the vaseline from your eyes this morning?"

then they're like, "Vaseline?"
And I'm like, "yeah... TURKEY!...VASELINE!"

Then they say, "oh yeah..." while they wipe the vaseline from their eyes, and continue to say, "Aw man!... YOU'RE NOT UGLY... You're not even FUGLY! you're OOOOOGLY!"

and I step back with a smug look on my face that looks all like , and I say, "WELL DUH!"

Then I ask if the person wants to make out...

And the person says yes .

Cuz despite my ugliness, people can't resist making out with me after they've realized how stupid they were from not wiping the vaseline from their eyes...

Aww man... writing this down made me think of something else...

What if their are girls out there that dig really ugly guys with horrible personalities?!!! FUCK! Now I gotta live with this insecurity until someone tells me it's okay.

I wanna pet monkey ... and a pig and a chicken and a pirate and a bucket of vomit and a brown eye I mean blackeye.

This site is awesome. Watch Eric do some crazy emotions! It's way cool.

*DPOOOOOOOOOOP!*

I went to work today! so not a lot happened with me. I walked around in the freezing rain for a while. It felt really good. I wasn't wearing a coat or anything. I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to HATE freezing rain, and now I kinda like it.

I'm confusing myself more and more every day. I can't wait to move to LA!

Well I just got back from richmond, and it's 2:30 in the morning here on the right coast... er... I mean east coast. I had a pretty rockin jam session with my friend harry. It's the second time we've played together and we now have 2 songs written. It's pretty cool, cuz despite there being only a guitar and a drumset, it still sounds good cuz we're so fast... I wouldn't say it's good music, but I'd say it'd be fun to hear in a club or something. We're not a Whitestripes ripoff; we're a 2-piece because we're too lazy to find a bassist and a second guitarist or keyboardist (keyboards can add cool sounds to a band. I don't care what anyone says.)

Well anyways... before I left, I had a really fucked up dream. I dreamed that I confronted my mom about how pissed off I was at her for convincing me to move back home, and how she said it'll be really good for you to have the security of being home and everything, and then 3 months later I find out I'm getting the boot for shit that I had nothing to do with. I dreamed that She came up to me and started talking shit about my mohawk (I shaved it off, but in my dream I still had it.) and I said to her stuff that I'd never say in real life... It was crazy... In my dream I ended up stealing a car, running over my doctor who was standing near my driveway, and I left for LA.
I hope that if it ever comes down to me doing that, that I don't cuss out my mom and run over my doctor. That wouldn't be cool. LOL. well it'd be cool to run over my doctor. He keeps giving me pills that don't do shit, and charging me a buttload of money for them.


I have to go to court tomorrow to try and talk the DA into lowering my reckless driving ticket's fines or bumping up my courtdate, so I can get out of town as soon as possible.

Blah... I'm going to bed.

Oi Veigh...
After writing my final english research paper, which I was supposed to be working on all semester but only started 3 days before it was due, I'm pooped. I don't want to DO anything. But I still have to study for my exams and I still need to find a place to live. I wish I hadn't started this semester, because now I actually have to finish it! blah! I think I'm gonna take a nap. I'm going to Richmond tonight to play some music with my friend harry.

I hope I get some good info about california soon. I really want to move out there

OKay, well I've never had a membership to a website before, and I've never had an online journal, so this is all new to me. I visited this website the first time because I saw the thing on HBO about it, and the whole concept of the site really appealed to me... But when I got here I was surprised to find out the whole feature of being able to talk with other members and stuff. I thought that was really cool, so I decided that I'd pay for a 1-month membership for this last month that I'm going to have internet access . I got my account so I could hopefully meet and talk to people about different towns across the U.S. because I'm going to skip town (I live in colonial williamsburg) and try and find somewhere cool to live.
I decided I'm going to live like a hobo for a while because of a guy I met who writes for Profane Existence who really opened my mind about living without any posessions and stuff. I'm interested in California or oregon. I'm really wanting to go over to the west coast.
Blah... I'm not trying to write a novel here... it's more than likely nobody will read it anyway. LOL
Anyways...