age: 27 (Jul 13, 1984)

MEMBER SINCE: December 2003

occupation: Professional Pig Diarrhea

sign: Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning To Work!

crush: UM... *thinking...* Lambchop.

stats: WTF MATE?!

body mods: Well, back in Nam (the fabric store down the street, not the war) I had this woman sew a pocket into my neck, so that I would have a permanent place to keep my change... No more fondeling around with change purses FOR ME! HAH!

gets me hot: Being doused in gasoline and lit on fire... or maybe being catapulted into the sun... I can imagine that'd get pretty fucking hot.

makes me sad: Married people cheating on eachother... Sluts, Phonies, Assholes, Bitches, Humanity, Religion, uh... Fuck... my house... Yeah, you get the point. Pretty much everything that wasn't listed in "Makes me happy"

into: I know what I'm not into, and that's women... wait... no I wish I weren't into women, cuz then my life would be a lot easier... No I'm into guitars, music, and... uh... cows.

most humbling moment: This one time me and my buddy steve were walking home from a bar, and I was all like, "hey steve... have you ever dated a chimp before?" he just looked up at me blankly. and i continued, "cuz I never dated a chimp..." The end.