Ok, here we go. Lies. Now, regardless of what you may personally think about lying, everybody does it. And if you're sitting there saying that you never lie, then you're fucking lying right now. Sheesh. Look, all I'm saying is that we all lie and that we need to be honest about the reasons and the circumstances in which we lie. And there are many situations in which it's just plain wrong.

For instance, what the fuck is going on with the fat chicks walking around in Brazilian jeans? I mean seriously, when the front of your stomach is hanging over the front of your low-cut jeans, then perhaps you should take them back to 5-7-9 and get a damned refund. But, of course there is a simple reason that these woman do this. LIES. Lie #1 is told by the friend who has convinced this person that the jeans looked good on her when she came out of the dressing room. Nevermind the 3 people that looked over and thought that the skin of a sausage had ruptured and the insides were spilling out. Lie #2 was told by the wearer's mind that said, "My best friend just told me that these jeans look great. Now, I just looked in the mirror and I look like I should be jumping out of the water at a major theme park and having fish thrown in my mouth. But my friend said that I look great, so apparently I'm hot as hell in these." You see what I mean? Lies are very detrimental to society and cause thousands of dollars in penis damages per year from all of the guys that have to look at these chicks.

But wait, girls aren't the only people who prove just how bad lying can be. Guys are victims of lies as well. Now, look at young males in today's society that walk around with size 56-pants on when they actually wear a size 30 waist. They also wear a size 8XXXl T-shirt and for some reason think that walking around looking like rejects from "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" is fashion. Television and music has LIED to them.

Ok, here we go. Lies. Now, regardless of what you may personally think about lying, everybody does it. And if you're sitting there saying that you never lie, then you're fucking lying right now. Sheesh. Look, all I'm saying is that we all lie and that we need to be honest about the reasons and the circumstances in which we lie. And there are many situations in which it's just plain wrong.

For instance, what the fuck is going on with the fat chicks walking around in Brazilian jeans? I mean seriously, when the front of your stomach is hanging over the front of your low-cut jeans, then perhaps you should take them back to 5-7-9 and get a damned refund. But, of course there is a simple reason that these woman do this. LIES. Lie #1 is told by the friend who has convinced this person that the jeans looked good on her when she came out of the dressing room. Nevermind the 3 people that looked over and thought that the skin of a sausage had ruptured and the insides were spilling out. Lie #2 was told by the wearer's mind that said, "My best friend just told me that these jeans look great. Now, I just looked in the mirror and I look like I should be jumping out of the water at a major theme park and having fish thrown in my mouth. But my friend said that I look great, so apparently I'm hot as hell in these." You see what I mean? Lies are very detrimental to society and cause thousands of dollars in penis damages per year from all of the guys that have to look at these chicks.

But wait, girls aren't the only people who prove just how bad lying can be. Guys are victims of lies as well. Now, look at young males in today's society that walk around with size 56-pants on when they actually wear a size 30 waist. They also wear a size 8XXXl T-shirt and for some reason think that walking around looking like rejects from "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" is fashion. Television and music has LIED to them. What the fuck is in fashion about walking around with your clothes falling off of you and appearing to be someone that perhaps lives in a homeless shelter? Hold on a sec, my girlfriend used to be a case manager in an actual homeless shelter and the homeless people didn't even dress that way. Sorry homeless people, the insult was noted and I deeply apologize. Guys, women aren't walking around looking for the guy that looks MOST like a fucking idiot. Well, not usually anyway. Because, now that I think about it, there is a profession out there that has a requirement for people that wear clothes that are waaay too big. Anyone interested please apply at Ringling Brothers/Barnum and Baily's Circus. Go to the tent that has other dumb-asses with huge clothes walking into it and ask for the "senior" clown and please ask for a job as soon as possible. This way, at least you will entertain the public and get paid real money to go and buy more stupid fucking clothes.

And for the girls out there that are screaming at the top of their lungs when some guy they KNOW has a 4-inch cock is humping them, STOP THAT SHIT!! Look, do you really think that it helps any guy on the planet when you fake it? Are you really under the impression that when you're screaming, "Hit this pussy, Daddy! Oh shit, you're killing it!!", that this is a "good" thing? Sure, the guy probably thinks that his cock is now similar to a midget's arm holding a peach, but you have now set him up for something really bad in the future. Because now, he's going to have the impression that he has some sort of "killer cock" that destroys vaginas upon contact. And, some day some girl is going to drop a harsh reality check on him one day when he's slamming the shit out of her and she's lying there laughing her ass off. He's going to be utterly destroyed and will from that point on, walk around mumbling incoherently to himself and attempting to fuck stray animals in his neighborhood in order to reestablish his ranking among nature's beasts.

Same thing applies to guys. If you're faking screaming in pleasure when you've got some chick sucking your cock when in all actuality she's actually severed your cock in half with her teeth, then you're LYING. This helps nobody!! If you're telling a chick how good her pussy is, and in truth you're lying, this totally fucks it up for the next guy. If you're inside a girl and hitting her walls is similar to standing in the middle of the Grand Canyon and attempting to touch the sides, then that's a BAD thing and telling her how good it is means that she is going to actually think that her vagina is the bodily equivalent of Grey Goose Vodka and that nobody can resist it. Then, some poor unsuspecting guy is going to kick her out of his apartment without so much as giving her a bottled water afterward. Then what do we have? A poor girl who now KNOWS that her pussy is horrible and will undergo countless surgical procedures to "tighten it up" and the end result will be that she has a hole that simply opens up at random dumping all of her internal organs onto the floor when she's in an important business meeting at work. See? Lies are BAD.

So please, let's all try not to lie to people. It's just wrong and it causes a countless array of problems. For instance, when people tell you that the "peach" shirt that you're wearing with your Khaki pants is really "nice" and goes well with your skin color....that means, "Hey dude, you look so fucking GAY in that shirt that you could quite possibly have a penis in your ass at this very moment." Needless to say, I was a little upset because I actually like my "peach" shirt. See, lies......they hurt people.