saw this in another journal thought i'd throw it up.
Let's see if any of you even know me at all. Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.
* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* barefoot or shoes
* jeans or petticoats
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek
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I have never considered myself to be a man that is good with the ladies. In fact, I become petrified when faced with any situation that would involve me asking a woman out. My fear comes from a combination of things not the least of which is the word no. What I do consider my self to be an expert at however is, NOT asking a woman out. I know that this sounds like a lot of malarkey, but it is an actual process. Not only is it real, but it is, in fact, a fine balancing act between being intriguing enough to hang out with, but also being too fearful to close the deal.
Before I can explain to you exactly what not asking a woman out is, I feel I should give you a little background information on where my fear of women comes from. (Please note, that fear, is the essential aspect of not asking a woman out.) I have never become involved in a long term relationship through the process of dating. All the relationships I have ever been in, I fell into. There was never a period of courting, they just happened. Then when all was said and done my heart was ripped out. I was left to simmer in the sauces of what I saw as my own failures.
Along with my fear of another failed relationship, I fear the word no. To be totally honest though, its not being told no that I am scared of, its the awkward excuses some women feel they need to make. My favorite rejection-without-actually-saying-no of all time is this: I asked this woman I knew, and had really liked for a long time, if she would like to have dinner. We were at a bar at the time and it was pretty loud.
She said, What? I cant hear you.
So I asked again, louder.
She again said, What?
So I asked one more time, almost yelling this time.
Once again she said, What? Then she, conveniently, saw someone across the bar that she wanted to talk to and walked away.
I knew then that she was just trying to avoid telling me no. To be honest though, no would have been better. It had taken me so much time to work the nerve up to ask her out.
So now that you have the Readers Digest version of why I fear asking a woman out Ill get right down to the art of not asking a woman out. First, you have to have similar fears of rejection as I myself have.
Second, you have to have a great conversation with this woman. Preferably this conversation will happen in a place that is not generally known as having an atmosphere in which single people meet. This is so because the conversation has to be natural without any recognizable undertones of sexual tension. There can be exceptions to this rule but I find it works best this way.
Third, you have to ask the woman if she wants to hang out sometime but it cannot be for dinner. What really works best is having tickets to an event that you know that she would like to go to. This is best because when you ask her to go to the event with you; you will probably get the answer, yes. You may be asking yourself, But youre asking her out then arent you? The answer to this question is, no. You are asking her to go to the event this is true, but you are not asking her out on a date. She may say yes, but even after she says yes you will be left wondering if she is going to the event with you because she wants to hang out with you, or because she wanted to go to the event and you just happened to have tickets.
So there you have it. As long as you follow these three simple steps, you can go through life without actually asking a girl out. You will never have to face your fear of rejection.
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Let's see if any of you even know me at all. Pick ONE from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.
* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* barefoot or shoes
* jeans or petticoats
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or geek
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I have never considered myself to be a man that is good with the ladies. In fact, I become petrified when faced with any situation that would involve me asking a woman out. My fear comes from a combination of things not the least of which is the word no. What I do consider my self to be an expert at however is, NOT asking a woman out. I know that this sounds like a lot of malarkey, but it is an actual process. Not only is it real, but it is, in fact, a fine balancing act between being intriguing enough to hang out with, but also being too fearful to close the deal.
Before I can explain to you exactly what not asking a woman out is, I feel I should give you a little background information on where my fear of women comes from. (Please note, that fear, is the essential aspect of not asking a woman out.) I have never become involved in a long term relationship through the process of dating. All the relationships I have ever been in, I fell into. There was never a period of courting, they just happened. Then when all was said and done my heart was ripped out. I was left to simmer in the sauces of what I saw as my own failures.
Along with my fear of another failed relationship, I fear the word no. To be totally honest though, its not being told no that I am scared of, its the awkward excuses some women feel they need to make. My favorite rejection-without-actually-saying-no of all time is this: I asked this woman I knew, and had really liked for a long time, if she would like to have dinner. We were at a bar at the time and it was pretty loud.
She said, What? I cant hear you.
So I asked again, louder.
She again said, What?
So I asked one more time, almost yelling this time.
Once again she said, What? Then she, conveniently, saw someone across the bar that she wanted to talk to and walked away.
I knew then that she was just trying to avoid telling me no. To be honest though, no would have been better. It had taken me so much time to work the nerve up to ask her out.
So now that you have the Readers Digest version of why I fear asking a woman out Ill get right down to the art of not asking a woman out. First, you have to have similar fears of rejection as I myself have.
Second, you have to have a great conversation with this woman. Preferably this conversation will happen in a place that is not generally known as having an atmosphere in which single people meet. This is so because the conversation has to be natural without any recognizable undertones of sexual tension. There can be exceptions to this rule but I find it works best this way.
Third, you have to ask the woman if she wants to hang out sometime but it cannot be for dinner. What really works best is having tickets to an event that you know that she would like to go to. This is best because when you ask her to go to the event with you; you will probably get the answer, yes. You may be asking yourself, But youre asking her out then arent you? The answer to this question is, no. You are asking her to go to the event this is true, but you are not asking her out on a date. She may say yes, but even after she says yes you will be left wondering if she is going to the event with you because she wants to hang out with you, or because she wanted to go to the event and you just happened to have tickets.
So there you have it. As long as you follow these three simple steps, you can go through life without actually asking a girl out. You will never have to face your fear of rejection.
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Quote of the Journal: "Some day I'll... wake up where the clouds are far behind me."
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and you....
submissive, logical, social, kinky, cute, puppy. flannel. leader, talkitive, spontainous, teddy bear, hiking, tequila, bottom, shoes, jeans. tender aware, geek.