Billy Connolly

No I think I was just fatter at the time. Maybe it was the collar. The collar was real tight on my neck. I noticed that in the movie myself.

Maybe, but it suited the role. I got bloated for the role. I took bloat lessons.

No, they sent for me, which is nice. I think they had someone else in mind in the first place. I had worked with the producer Mary Anne [Waterhouse] on a film called Beautiful Joe with Sharon Stone. I came to mind for the role from that.

Yeah.

Well there’s no research to be done because there are no zombies.

So any research that you would do is watching zombies in other movies and you don’t want to be doing that. I decided to play it like a disabled man; a guy who couldn’t communicate, whose limbs are not much use to him. I only had my eyes to work with. I had no voice or anything. I couldn’t make signals with my hands so I just had to convey with my eyes what I meant and I decided to go that way. When you look at it, that’s the way you go any way in a movie; the acting is mostly done with the eyes. You don’t get far flapping your arms around making big signals. You listen with your eyes onscreen, you don’t listen with your ears. I’ve been very fortunate that instinctively it proved right. I don’t run back to the video playback and see how I’m doing, which is a great temptation. I find that if I do that then I start impersonating myself and it ends up looking hammy. When I saw the film the other night, I laughed out loud a couple of times because I had never seen myself doing this thing. I don’t look like him anymore so it was like watching someone else. A couple of guys behind me exploded into laughter and I just joined in. It’s a nice feeling to do it right.

No because if you practice in the mirror you’re looking the wrong way. It’s like trying to practice as a comedian. You can’t practice with no one in the room. If you’re practicing into a tape recorder or whatever, you’re not practicing properly because you’re not feeding it to a live person which is what you’re going to be doing. There’s no practice you can do really. What you have to do is convince yourself that you’re doing the right thing. As you get older you trust your instincts less and less in your life. You don’t trust your first decision as quickly as you used to. You become more safety conscious and you listen to that other voice all the time saying, “No don’t do that,” the one that partly keeps you safe and partly stops you doing anything.

No I didn’t. I’ve never done that. I’m very simple. I had to just remember my growls and trust my instinct. I think you can take that stuff too far with the animal thing and all that. A lot of it’s good but a little of it goes a long way.

No, the 50’s were in black and white in the UK. It was in color in America. I was there. Trust me it was black and white. American culture is British culture and world culture. The world shares a nostalgia with America that’s American. The nostalgia is usually wrong. It’s not about the way America was in the 50’s. It’s the way American television was in the 50’s. It’s the way people dressed and the cars they drove. This isn’t most people’s recollection of the 50’s. It’s Hollywood fantasy of the 50’s.

Robin’s life is that. He’s my pal and he does that 24/7 anyway. But I don’t. I’m quite happy. I do like messing around and having fun with the kids on the set and all that, laying traps for people with fishing line. I love fishing line, it’s a godsend.

Pull things, move things.

I love to get people to do double takes by making things fall down.

I think, yes.

Yes. Give him a break.

It was brilliant. She actually was pregnant during the film. Like all pregnant women, she spoke about babies all day and I’ve got five kids so it was cool by me. We got on very well. I really enjoy her company.

They are just the best. Little Tim [Blake Nelson] is amazing and his love affair with Tammy next door. They are the solid heavyweights of American cinema and it’s a joy to be with them.

No, I wasn’t. They all looked the same to me. I realize there’s a whole zombie genre and I have no intention of hurting those fans’ feelings but I wasn’t all that mad about being in a zombie movie. Then I read the script and realized it was a comedy with zombies in it and that’s okay. If you’re going to be in a zombie movie, be a zombie. Don’t be one of the other guys going “Help!”

He’s very quiet. He’s quietly forceful. He gets his own way eventually but he’s very gentle. Everybody’s got a different way of doing it and his seems to be with gentleness and kindness.

His vision is actually old fashioned and very refreshing. I’ve always felt that the director is the one who should have vision instead of somebody who’s the director because they signed a five picture deal. It’s great to work with directors who wanted to be directors, who didn’t end up there for some other reason.

I have absolutely no idea what will happen with Fido. It’s just a lovely thing. It depends on the market and how it’s received. I hope it lasts for a long time because it’s very worthwhile and original.

My kids are going to school over here.

The eldest one, Cara, is 23. She’s been over here for a while. Amy’s 20, Scarlett’s 18 and she goes to Bard.

From day one.

Yeah, if you think it’s dirty, don’t fucking do it. It’s all in what your values are. My values are okay. My kids have seen me since they were ten and eight and stuff like that. I remember after a show I asked one of my daughters, “Did you enjoy it”? She said, “Oh that was so funny”. I asked her what her favorite bit was and it was the one about a girl with a pierced clitoris who had wind chimes hanging from them. She thought it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.

She was about 12. A lot of kids are brighter than you give them credit for. They know stuff and when your dad is up there making you scream with laughter about things you know about, it’s actually a good thing.

Yeah, that stuff isn’t the problem. The big problem is keeping your kids away from shi heads that are going to sell them drugs and the way you do that is by the truth. There’s no other way. You have to tell them the fucking truth about the way the world actually is and if you tell them lies they will find out and they might find out in detox when it’s too fucking late.

Oh no, it’s lovely.

Absolutely.

It was very exciting for me. I met [Head of the Class] producer Michael Elias at a party in London and he was very big on comedy. Plus he’s Jewish and I was into Shecky Greene and all those guys. We were talking about all the guys we knew and Lenny Bruce and all that. Comedy this and comedy that and he had written The Jerk with Steve Martin. So we had a lot of common ground. Then he got in touch with me and offered me it completely out of the blue. I said “Oh, I’ll give it a bash. Yeah, why not”.

Oh yes. He’s a big shot now.

No, that threw me completely by surprise. He was confident in his work but he seemed shy to me. [Dan] Schneider was loud and stuff and the guy who played the geek…

Yes he was very sensible and very nice, lighthearted and funny man. Schneider was loud but Brian was quiet. Between takes Brian would be talking to somebody quietly over on the side. But he’s just private, I think.

He was rich then!

Well I am so glad Willem said that and I knew he would because he’s a nice man. That is such a hatchet job.

No. I’ve only seen reports of the film. I’m one of the guys that are supposed to have been bullied by Troy. He never bullied me for a second. Troy is not a namby pamby, limp-wristed film guy. He’s a rock and roll guy. He’s an Irish American Boston guy and he has a rock band. He’s a very good writer and he’s a very bright man and he doesn’t fuck around. He doesn’t suffer fools gladly and I’m very comfortable with that. I never saw him bullying anyone. Maybe I saw him raising his voice but I don’t mind raised voices.

Yeah you’re dealing with a lot of problems. Those guys were supposed to be doing the “making of” and that’s why they got all the interviews. Then when they thought it wasn’t going to become a movie they did a wee hatchet job to make some money. Troy’s life is unfortunate enough with all the legal bullshit. He never made a penny from that fantastic movie that keeps going on and on and on. Every new wave that goes to college gets into it again. It’s forever.

He does, I’ve read it. As a matter of fact, I’ve read two. I’ve read the first one which I didn’t like all that much. But the second one is great and he’s now working on a third one.

Well, I think this is the end for me. I’ll get killed. I always get killed anyway. Fido is a good one because I was killed before the movie starts. I love dying.

It’s a dream come true to wear six 9mm pistols on your vest. When I arrived to start shooting I had a cigar and I was sitting outside my trailer blowing some smoke and he said, “Use that, I’ll get you some cigars. Yeah that looks great. Do that!” The entire cast believed in it. They all still believe in it which is wonderful. They’re all delighted that it’s still got life and legs.

I do it all over the world. About five months ago I did six weeks of standup in New York. I start in Boston on Tuesday night.

I don’t tape it, I just improv and try to remember it.

No, I’m getting worse. But what I find is that you remember the best and you disregard the stuff you don’t remember. If you haven’t remembered it then it probably isn’t worth remembering.

No. I just go on with my life. I don’t care about specials. Every now and again, I bring out DVDs.

I always had this peculiar idea of being remembered. I used be a folk singer and I would turn up at the club in my jeans and my banjo and my guitar and the club owners didn’t even know I was there. They booked me from a brochure or something. I would be right there but I would hear the club managers going, “Is he here yet?” I wanted to make sure they would know I was there so I started wearing very wild clothes and stuff like that. It worked brilliantly.

I still play, but just at home. I don’t do it on stage at all.

I have no desire to do so. I’ve had ideas. I sat down to write them down and I fumbled my through it and eventually stopped.

I don’t care about censorship. It hasn’t affected me at all. When it affects me I’ll care about it but until then I just get on with my life as normal and talk about the things I’ve always talked about in the way I’ve always talked about them.

I don’t care. That’s not my world. They can do what they like. Fuck them all.

by Daniel Robert Epstein

SG Username: AndersWolleck