Once youve made it to the height of your chosen field, what do you do next? Well according to Tool and A Perfect Circle singer Maynard Keenan, what satisfies him at this point is crushing grapes in his backyard. If that sounds like fun to you CBT fans then youre missing the point. Keenan has figured it out, hes taken his love for wine and started his own label and vineyard and is taking some heavy risks with his next music project Puscifier.
Check out the official site for Puscifer
Daniel Robert Epstein: What are you up to today?
Maynard Keenan: Im working on some Puscifer music and Ive got the winery kicking. Im trying to sort out some bottling dates.
DRE: Whats your wine called?
MK: I have two, Caduceus Cellars is my premium brand and then I have the more middle of the road stuff which is called Merkin Vineyards.
DRE: How did the wine thing get started?
MK: Ive been a fan of wines since the early 90s and it progressed to the point where I just decided to put a vineyard in my backyard, not really having any idea what I was doing or what I was going to be doing with the grapes. I met the right guy who had a plan of his own and Ive been riding his coattails learning as I go. We released our first wines about a year and a half ago and everything has sold out. Now were just trying to get some more wine into bottles so we can get it up for sale.
DRE: It sounds like a lot of fun.
MK: Yes and its a pretty grounding experience. The music industry and Hollywood tends to be very disconnected and not really about reality. Some of the activities that go on there dont have a lot of logic to it. Youve got people from damaged childhoods that are emoting and running the business when they have no idea what theyre doing.
DRE: I dont know a ton about wine but when you say started a vineyard; does that mean you hooked up with a grape that you liked or developed a grape?
MK: I had some guys come out from U.C. Davis to check out the area, check out the elevation, make some suggestions on root stock and what varietals would work in this climate. Like evaluation of temperature, soil content, elevation and all that stuff goes into them calculating what might or might not work here.
DRE: Are you finding its getting into peoples mouths that dont know who you are?
MK: Yeah, I think so. I have a blog on the main page of Wine Spectator. Its good wine, so its finding its way into the hands of people who appreciate wine and theyve been reporting good things.
DRE: It must be very satisfying to walk out into the middle of your own vineyard.
MK: Absolutely and very calming.
DRE: How was touring with the Big Day Out festival in Australia?
MK: It was good. I got a chance to taste some wines down there as well, but I had the flu which sucked because I couldnt taste anything.
DRE: So when youre on tour you just hit all the wineries you can?
MK: Well, if you can time it right then it works out great. But its not always that easy. The schedule for touring is usually grueling. You cant just take a week off in the middle of a tour to go taste wine.
DRE: Do you drink much else?
MK: I dont normally drink a lot of wine. Im not a huge drinker. I just really enjoy a good glass of wine with a meal and I know that I have an aptitude for it. Its like writing music in a way. There are lots of levels and nuances to discover.
But as for the Big Day Out Festival, it gave me a chance to meet some people that I want to work on with some Puscifer music. Ive been talking to different musicians about coming and guest appearing on some of these tracks.
DRE: So while youre chatting with guys you just say, Ive got this thing going on, are you guys interested?
MK: Yeah, absolutely. Right now Ive got a couple tracks Im working on with Tim Alexander from Primus and some of the guys from Audioslave, Tim [Commerford] and Brad [Wilk].
DRE: Yeah, theyre free.
MK: Also Johnny Polanski. Ive worked with Danny Lohner on a few tracks before.
DRE: Recently Ive gotten to talk to Les Claypool and Mike Patton who have all these different bands that they do. They both pretty much told me that theyre not even sure sometimes where the music theyre creating will go. Are you the same way?
MK: I try to wear one hat at a time. I find thats the best way to do it. When Im doing tours Im doing tours. If Im doing A Perfect Circle then Im doing that. But Puscifer has been a little different because it is not just music. Its actually as much a clothing line as it is a band. Ive been talking with different manufacturers so its almost a brand at this point.
DRE: Was that always the intention?
MK: I think its just the age that were in. With the internet the way it is, music is now a soundtrack to some other activity. You can make a living selling songs but you make a better living playing them. If youre not going to play them you got to figure out what else to sell and I guess that comes down to t-shirts and key chains.
DRE: How many vineyards do you have?
MK: Up in Arizona I have about three vineyards. My partner and my mentor, winemaker Eric Glomski from Page Springs Vineyards and Cellars, who I make all my wines through, has a similar amount of acreage. We bought about 60 to 65 acres together down in Tucson. Were the largest producer of wine grapes in Arizona at the moment.
DRE: It sounds like it will be really big.
MK: It gives us options. We actually supply all the other winemakers in the state with grapes. That way I can have a huge vineyard, we can cherry pick the best grapes for our wines and then sell whats left over to anyone else in the state. We can really make great premium wines with a choice grape rather than just being isolated with one small amount of grapes that one year might be good, one year might be bad. The average amount of cases my partner and winemaker, Eric Glomski makes is between 4000 and 5000. I do about 1200. The average winery makes hundreds of thousands of cases a year.
DRE: What was the inspiration for Puscifer?
MK: Puscifer has basically been my little baby and I just kept working on it. I was inspired by all these tunes on the radio like oldies, Motown stuff and hip-hop. Stuff that feels good. I approached Puscifer like that. Im just trying to get stuff that I dont have to think too much about it. Its got a good groove. It makes you feel good and thats where Ive been concentrating because I have all the introspective, torturous, painfully organized and arranged music that takes years to create and cuts really deep. But Puscifer does not do that. Its something that I want to have fun with and not worry about it being groundbreaking or changing the world.
DRE: Are you going to tour with Puscifer?
MK: Maybe I will do some stuff in small theatres someday but for now Im not even worried about that.
DRE: Something like that has to be at least a year and a half off.
MK: Yeah but Im not even thinking about it yet.
DRE: Have you brought in a lot of people to help you with music?
MK: Well Ive got a guitar tech engineer and a ProTools engineer. Tim Alexander has a whole set up and we just kick it around in my home studio.
DRE: A lot of people have home studios that are just as good as some of the professional ones. Im sure yours is.
MK: The home studios work but at the end of the day nothing sounds like analog two inch tape. So once the ideas are all organized I want to put all these tapes on two inch tape if not re-tracking them on two inch tape.
DRE: I read that the name Puscifer is taken from a Mr. Show skit you were in.
MK: Actually the band itself existed before Mr. Show. It was always a little project that I had going on. I used the name for Mr. Show because it just made sense to get it on the map. The original name of the band was called Umlaut a premiere improvisational hardcore band, it lasted about a day. It was fun but it evolved quickly into Puscifer.
DRE: When youre doing something totally new thats not going to be Tool or A Perfect Circle did you know that eventually you wanted to bring back Puscifer?
MK: Yeah, absolutely. That was always the intention. I just got focused on all the other things that I never really put a lot of time into really bringing it forward and I think now is the time.
DRE: So you guys have postponed the [Tool] tour because Danny hurt himself?
MK: Yeah, he pulled a muscle in his arm.
DRE: You think it will be just a couple months?
MK: Yeah because the drummer from Tool only has one arm [laughs].
Ive been focusing most of my time on the vineyard and the winery. But because we have quite a bit of a break. its a perfect time to really start tracking some of these ideas I have in my head. Getting them on tape and developing some new merch ideas. Ill be going to Hong Kong in a couple weeks to meet with some garment manufacturers and get some of the ideas together.
DRE: Is it a different visualization process while youre coming up with a new t-shirt or something like that?
MK: Yeah, I pretty much rely on my fucking twisted sense of humor to put some of that stuff together and just have fun with it, not take it too seriously. I dont want it to be a thing that gets so big that I have to worry about selling it. Ive been doing really low volume stuff. I may make only 500 copies of one shirt and never make another one. Some stuff is from collaborations with Globe in Australia and Im doing a leather jacket with Paul Frank where there will just be a few of them.
DRE: I know youre friends with a lot of comedy guys who collect a lot of things. Are you into stuff like that?
MK: No, not really. But, yeah I have a lot of friends who collect stuff.
DRE: With such low runs, it sounds like youre trying to make something that will become collectible.
MK: I think that were getting into an age where this whole conquer the world with consumerism thing, falls apart at some point. So the idea is just to create a few fun things and that way I dont have to worry about storing it anywhere. There are a couple of them, you sell them, theyre gone, then there are the next couple other ideas and you get rid of those. I can make a living but not have to have some crazy overhead and infrastructure or some building where Im paying rent and utilities with staff that have to put food on the table. Its small enough that I can latch onto independents and just have fun with it.
DRE: So you dont really have like a team of people.
MK: No, not at all. Its basically two or three of us. Of course I have people that I go to manufacture the shirts, those are companies in and of themselves. But it is pretty much me mailing off artwork, designing shirts or jackets. Ive also been selling targets I shoot at the range that I then autograph.
DRE: Do you have any desire for these things to become bigger?
MK: If it got bigger I would license it to somebody else and then it becomes their headache. If they cant move them its their problem. But Im making things in low quantities so we wont end up with a huge warehouse of stuff I cant get rid of.
DRE: What inspired the Tool album 10,000 Days?
MK: Just life in general.
DRE: Theres a track in there about your mom. Is stuff like that still just as cathartic for you?
MK: Yeah and just as difficult to talk about.
DRE: Are you into people interpreting it for themselves?
MK: Yeah pretty much, just let them run with it.
DRE: Is creating music still just as satisfying or does it just satisfy a different part?
MK: I think that when it gets to be as big as this corporation known as Tool is, some of this business stuff ends up making it more difficult to enjoy the process. Thats why I end up doing all these little things because Im trying to make sure Im enjoying the process. I really enjoy making and recording music, but I dont really enjoy the business end of it. It really ends up putting a knot in your stomach.
DRE: For a while there we thought there wasnt going to be anymore Tool.
MK: There are times you just have to get through things. Like any marriage, there are rough spots.
DRE: What brought you back to specifically wanting to do Tool?
MK: Well, we never left. You never leave any of it. Youre married to these people. Its a relationship. Everyone that you come across in your life that you had intimate relations with are still part of you. You dont really leave them, you just might not be standing in the same room with them all the time.
DRE: What would have to change about Tool for you to say I dont want to do this. I have other things to concentrate on?
MK: If the entire world turned into something where there is no money involved. If there was no money involved it would be easy to do this but as soon as the money comes into play, everybody gets weird. It has an affect on everybody. It doesnt matter who they are but as soon as theres money involved people get fucking goofy. When you dont have money to lose you dont have to worry about somebody taking the money. All that bullshit aside Im trying to prove that I can just make music and make my living doing that and selling shirts for fun
DRE: [laughs] Years ago a friend of mine had a Tool bootleg of this show you guys did in 1992 at a bar with about 12 people in the audience. I dont expect you to remember.
MK: It was in Philadelphia.
DRE: That was back when the Tool albums were more stripped down, would you ever go back to a more stripped down Tool?
MK: No, because we have your attention. If you want someones attention you have to scream from the back of the room to be heard. Once you have everybodys attention you have to whisper to keep it.
DRE: Do you get see much comedy anymore?
MK: Not really since I live in Arizona. The only comedy I see is when my dogs are chasing their tails around here.
DRE: [laughs] What about on TV?
MK: Well, of course Extras is just off the hook. I like My Name is Earl, Reno 911 and that kind of stuff. Also Borat and all the stuff involving Sacha Baron Cohen is true genius.
DRE: Have you gotten into the American version of The Office?
MK: Yeah. Like everybody else, I was one of those purists because I had watched all the seasons of The Office in the UK. So when the American Office started they were trying to fit the formula and do exactly what the UK version had done. Now Im so glad theyve abandoned that formula and gone down their own path. Its an incredible show.
DRE: Its gotten really good. I love it.
MK: Yeah, its painful. Its like watching Curb Your Enthusiasm where you almost have to watch it from across the room.
DRE: It gives me backaches [laughs].
MK: Yeah it does.
DRE: I know that youve like appeared in little things here and there but did you ever get involved in much comedy?
MK: The problem with me being involved in comedy is that Im not funny. So if Im in a comedy I have to be in a scene or a sketch with somebody thats actually funny and then I can play the straight man. But without anybody actually funny in the scene then Im just a dork trying to be funny and not doing it. Having said that I am working on some short films with a friend of mine whos a writer, which we would show on Puscifer tour. Im working with Ford [Englerth] and Jeffrey [Brooks] from Red Rock Entertainment Development. They are in a similar format to Mr. Show or Tom Waits when he did his live album Big Time.
DRE: So you are writing and directing them?
MK: Im one of the guys that has 16 ideas every minute and then tries to scratch them all down. I write down characters and little scenarios and then I hand them off to Jeffrey. He hands them off to a guy whos actually funny and can write. He finishes them up until they are up to the 90 percent margin then I nudge them that final few percent that really gives them their shape.
DRE: I read you are going to be on the Bonnaroo Festival with The Police.
You must have been a Police fan.
MK: Absolutely, I was a huge Police fan. Zenyatta Mondatta was a good album.
DRE: Do you ever get star struck around people like The Police?
MK: Not so much around The Police. If I was around Gene Hackman or [Robert] De Niro or Morgan Freeman, my knees would probably give out. Those people are just pure artists and are channels for that amazing talent and energy.
DRE: You didnt mention any musicians.
MK: Thats just too close to home. The people who I would freak out to meet are dead. If Hendrix walked into the room I would piss myself because hes dead. Dude you smell like youre rotting.
DRE: [laughs] There was a SuicideGirl who just debuted who has a big tattoo of you on her back.
MK: Illyria.
DRE: Whats it like to see that?
MK: Real creepy.
DRE: [laughs] You must have met plenty of people that have stuff like that though.
MK: I usually make them sign a waiver so they cant sue me when they cant get a job. I couldnt get a job at a bank and its your fault. Fuck you buddy, you signed the waiver.
DRE: For some reason I dont expect such beautiful girls to have giant portraits of men on their back.
MK: My guess is that she passed out at a party and somebody did it when she wasnt looking. She probably doesnt look at her back in a mirror very often so she didnt notice. It was probably supposed to be a portrait of Christina Aguilera but whoever did it made it so ugly that they pretended it was me.
by Daniel Robert Epstein
SG Username: AndersWolleck
Check out the official site for Puscifer
Daniel Robert Epstein: What are you up to today?
Maynard Keenan: Im working on some Puscifer music and Ive got the winery kicking. Im trying to sort out some bottling dates.
DRE: Whats your wine called?
MK: I have two, Caduceus Cellars is my premium brand and then I have the more middle of the road stuff which is called Merkin Vineyards.
DRE: How did the wine thing get started?
MK: Ive been a fan of wines since the early 90s and it progressed to the point where I just decided to put a vineyard in my backyard, not really having any idea what I was doing or what I was going to be doing with the grapes. I met the right guy who had a plan of his own and Ive been riding his coattails learning as I go. We released our first wines about a year and a half ago and everything has sold out. Now were just trying to get some more wine into bottles so we can get it up for sale.
DRE: It sounds like a lot of fun.
MK: Yes and its a pretty grounding experience. The music industry and Hollywood tends to be very disconnected and not really about reality. Some of the activities that go on there dont have a lot of logic to it. Youve got people from damaged childhoods that are emoting and running the business when they have no idea what theyre doing.
DRE: I dont know a ton about wine but when you say started a vineyard; does that mean you hooked up with a grape that you liked or developed a grape?
MK: I had some guys come out from U.C. Davis to check out the area, check out the elevation, make some suggestions on root stock and what varietals would work in this climate. Like evaluation of temperature, soil content, elevation and all that stuff goes into them calculating what might or might not work here.
DRE: Are you finding its getting into peoples mouths that dont know who you are?
MK: Yeah, I think so. I have a blog on the main page of Wine Spectator. Its good wine, so its finding its way into the hands of people who appreciate wine and theyve been reporting good things.
DRE: It must be very satisfying to walk out into the middle of your own vineyard.
MK: Absolutely and very calming.
DRE: How was touring with the Big Day Out festival in Australia?
MK: It was good. I got a chance to taste some wines down there as well, but I had the flu which sucked because I couldnt taste anything.
DRE: So when youre on tour you just hit all the wineries you can?
MK: Well, if you can time it right then it works out great. But its not always that easy. The schedule for touring is usually grueling. You cant just take a week off in the middle of a tour to go taste wine.
DRE: Do you drink much else?
MK: I dont normally drink a lot of wine. Im not a huge drinker. I just really enjoy a good glass of wine with a meal and I know that I have an aptitude for it. Its like writing music in a way. There are lots of levels and nuances to discover.
But as for the Big Day Out Festival, it gave me a chance to meet some people that I want to work on with some Puscifer music. Ive been talking to different musicians about coming and guest appearing on some of these tracks.
DRE: So while youre chatting with guys you just say, Ive got this thing going on, are you guys interested?
MK: Yeah, absolutely. Right now Ive got a couple tracks Im working on with Tim Alexander from Primus and some of the guys from Audioslave, Tim [Commerford] and Brad [Wilk].
DRE: Yeah, theyre free.
MK: Also Johnny Polanski. Ive worked with Danny Lohner on a few tracks before.
DRE: Recently Ive gotten to talk to Les Claypool and Mike Patton who have all these different bands that they do. They both pretty much told me that theyre not even sure sometimes where the music theyre creating will go. Are you the same way?
MK: I try to wear one hat at a time. I find thats the best way to do it. When Im doing tours Im doing tours. If Im doing A Perfect Circle then Im doing that. But Puscifer has been a little different because it is not just music. Its actually as much a clothing line as it is a band. Ive been talking with different manufacturers so its almost a brand at this point.
DRE: Was that always the intention?
MK: I think its just the age that were in. With the internet the way it is, music is now a soundtrack to some other activity. You can make a living selling songs but you make a better living playing them. If youre not going to play them you got to figure out what else to sell and I guess that comes down to t-shirts and key chains.
DRE: How many vineyards do you have?
MK: Up in Arizona I have about three vineyards. My partner and my mentor, winemaker Eric Glomski from Page Springs Vineyards and Cellars, who I make all my wines through, has a similar amount of acreage. We bought about 60 to 65 acres together down in Tucson. Were the largest producer of wine grapes in Arizona at the moment.
DRE: It sounds like it will be really big.
MK: It gives us options. We actually supply all the other winemakers in the state with grapes. That way I can have a huge vineyard, we can cherry pick the best grapes for our wines and then sell whats left over to anyone else in the state. We can really make great premium wines with a choice grape rather than just being isolated with one small amount of grapes that one year might be good, one year might be bad. The average amount of cases my partner and winemaker, Eric Glomski makes is between 4000 and 5000. I do about 1200. The average winery makes hundreds of thousands of cases a year.
DRE: What was the inspiration for Puscifer?
MK: Puscifer has basically been my little baby and I just kept working on it. I was inspired by all these tunes on the radio like oldies, Motown stuff and hip-hop. Stuff that feels good. I approached Puscifer like that. Im just trying to get stuff that I dont have to think too much about it. Its got a good groove. It makes you feel good and thats where Ive been concentrating because I have all the introspective, torturous, painfully organized and arranged music that takes years to create and cuts really deep. But Puscifer does not do that. Its something that I want to have fun with and not worry about it being groundbreaking or changing the world.
DRE: Are you going to tour with Puscifer?
MK: Maybe I will do some stuff in small theatres someday but for now Im not even worried about that.
DRE: Something like that has to be at least a year and a half off.
MK: Yeah but Im not even thinking about it yet.
DRE: Have you brought in a lot of people to help you with music?
MK: Well Ive got a guitar tech engineer and a ProTools engineer. Tim Alexander has a whole set up and we just kick it around in my home studio.
DRE: A lot of people have home studios that are just as good as some of the professional ones. Im sure yours is.
MK: The home studios work but at the end of the day nothing sounds like analog two inch tape. So once the ideas are all organized I want to put all these tapes on two inch tape if not re-tracking them on two inch tape.
DRE: I read that the name Puscifer is taken from a Mr. Show skit you were in.
MK: Actually the band itself existed before Mr. Show. It was always a little project that I had going on. I used the name for Mr. Show because it just made sense to get it on the map. The original name of the band was called Umlaut a premiere improvisational hardcore band, it lasted about a day. It was fun but it evolved quickly into Puscifer.
DRE: When youre doing something totally new thats not going to be Tool or A Perfect Circle did you know that eventually you wanted to bring back Puscifer?
MK: Yeah, absolutely. That was always the intention. I just got focused on all the other things that I never really put a lot of time into really bringing it forward and I think now is the time.
DRE: So you guys have postponed the [Tool] tour because Danny hurt himself?
MK: Yeah, he pulled a muscle in his arm.
DRE: You think it will be just a couple months?
MK: Yeah because the drummer from Tool only has one arm [laughs].
Ive been focusing most of my time on the vineyard and the winery. But because we have quite a bit of a break. its a perfect time to really start tracking some of these ideas I have in my head. Getting them on tape and developing some new merch ideas. Ill be going to Hong Kong in a couple weeks to meet with some garment manufacturers and get some of the ideas together.
DRE: Is it a different visualization process while youre coming up with a new t-shirt or something like that?
MK: Yeah, I pretty much rely on my fucking twisted sense of humor to put some of that stuff together and just have fun with it, not take it too seriously. I dont want it to be a thing that gets so big that I have to worry about selling it. Ive been doing really low volume stuff. I may make only 500 copies of one shirt and never make another one. Some stuff is from collaborations with Globe in Australia and Im doing a leather jacket with Paul Frank where there will just be a few of them.
DRE: I know youre friends with a lot of comedy guys who collect a lot of things. Are you into stuff like that?
MK: No, not really. But, yeah I have a lot of friends who collect stuff.
DRE: With such low runs, it sounds like youre trying to make something that will become collectible.
MK: I think that were getting into an age where this whole conquer the world with consumerism thing, falls apart at some point. So the idea is just to create a few fun things and that way I dont have to worry about storing it anywhere. There are a couple of them, you sell them, theyre gone, then there are the next couple other ideas and you get rid of those. I can make a living but not have to have some crazy overhead and infrastructure or some building where Im paying rent and utilities with staff that have to put food on the table. Its small enough that I can latch onto independents and just have fun with it.
DRE: So you dont really have like a team of people.
MK: No, not at all. Its basically two or three of us. Of course I have people that I go to manufacture the shirts, those are companies in and of themselves. But it is pretty much me mailing off artwork, designing shirts or jackets. Ive also been selling targets I shoot at the range that I then autograph.
DRE: Do you have any desire for these things to become bigger?
MK: If it got bigger I would license it to somebody else and then it becomes their headache. If they cant move them its their problem. But Im making things in low quantities so we wont end up with a huge warehouse of stuff I cant get rid of.
DRE: What inspired the Tool album 10,000 Days?
MK: Just life in general.
DRE: Theres a track in there about your mom. Is stuff like that still just as cathartic for you?
MK: Yeah and just as difficult to talk about.
DRE: Are you into people interpreting it for themselves?
MK: Yeah pretty much, just let them run with it.
DRE: Is creating music still just as satisfying or does it just satisfy a different part?
MK: I think that when it gets to be as big as this corporation known as Tool is, some of this business stuff ends up making it more difficult to enjoy the process. Thats why I end up doing all these little things because Im trying to make sure Im enjoying the process. I really enjoy making and recording music, but I dont really enjoy the business end of it. It really ends up putting a knot in your stomach.
DRE: For a while there we thought there wasnt going to be anymore Tool.
MK: There are times you just have to get through things. Like any marriage, there are rough spots.
DRE: What brought you back to specifically wanting to do Tool?
MK: Well, we never left. You never leave any of it. Youre married to these people. Its a relationship. Everyone that you come across in your life that you had intimate relations with are still part of you. You dont really leave them, you just might not be standing in the same room with them all the time.
DRE: What would have to change about Tool for you to say I dont want to do this. I have other things to concentrate on?
MK: If the entire world turned into something where there is no money involved. If there was no money involved it would be easy to do this but as soon as the money comes into play, everybody gets weird. It has an affect on everybody. It doesnt matter who they are but as soon as theres money involved people get fucking goofy. When you dont have money to lose you dont have to worry about somebody taking the money. All that bullshit aside Im trying to prove that I can just make music and make my living doing that and selling shirts for fun
DRE: [laughs] Years ago a friend of mine had a Tool bootleg of this show you guys did in 1992 at a bar with about 12 people in the audience. I dont expect you to remember.
MK: It was in Philadelphia.
DRE: That was back when the Tool albums were more stripped down, would you ever go back to a more stripped down Tool?
MK: No, because we have your attention. If you want someones attention you have to scream from the back of the room to be heard. Once you have everybodys attention you have to whisper to keep it.
DRE: Do you get see much comedy anymore?
MK: Not really since I live in Arizona. The only comedy I see is when my dogs are chasing their tails around here.
DRE: [laughs] What about on TV?
MK: Well, of course Extras is just off the hook. I like My Name is Earl, Reno 911 and that kind of stuff. Also Borat and all the stuff involving Sacha Baron Cohen is true genius.
DRE: Have you gotten into the American version of The Office?
MK: Yeah. Like everybody else, I was one of those purists because I had watched all the seasons of The Office in the UK. So when the American Office started they were trying to fit the formula and do exactly what the UK version had done. Now Im so glad theyve abandoned that formula and gone down their own path. Its an incredible show.
DRE: Its gotten really good. I love it.
MK: Yeah, its painful. Its like watching Curb Your Enthusiasm where you almost have to watch it from across the room.
DRE: It gives me backaches [laughs].
MK: Yeah it does.
DRE: I know that youve like appeared in little things here and there but did you ever get involved in much comedy?
MK: The problem with me being involved in comedy is that Im not funny. So if Im in a comedy I have to be in a scene or a sketch with somebody thats actually funny and then I can play the straight man. But without anybody actually funny in the scene then Im just a dork trying to be funny and not doing it. Having said that I am working on some short films with a friend of mine whos a writer, which we would show on Puscifer tour. Im working with Ford [Englerth] and Jeffrey [Brooks] from Red Rock Entertainment Development. They are in a similar format to Mr. Show or Tom Waits when he did his live album Big Time.
DRE: So you are writing and directing them?
MK: Im one of the guys that has 16 ideas every minute and then tries to scratch them all down. I write down characters and little scenarios and then I hand them off to Jeffrey. He hands them off to a guy whos actually funny and can write. He finishes them up until they are up to the 90 percent margin then I nudge them that final few percent that really gives them their shape.
DRE: I read you are going to be on the Bonnaroo Festival with The Police.
You must have been a Police fan.
MK: Absolutely, I was a huge Police fan. Zenyatta Mondatta was a good album.
DRE: Do you ever get star struck around people like The Police?
MK: Not so much around The Police. If I was around Gene Hackman or [Robert] De Niro or Morgan Freeman, my knees would probably give out. Those people are just pure artists and are channels for that amazing talent and energy.
DRE: You didnt mention any musicians.
MK: Thats just too close to home. The people who I would freak out to meet are dead. If Hendrix walked into the room I would piss myself because hes dead. Dude you smell like youre rotting.
DRE: [laughs] There was a SuicideGirl who just debuted who has a big tattoo of you on her back.
MK: Illyria.
DRE: Whats it like to see that?
MK: Real creepy.
DRE: [laughs] You must have met plenty of people that have stuff like that though.
MK: I usually make them sign a waiver so they cant sue me when they cant get a job. I couldnt get a job at a bank and its your fault. Fuck you buddy, you signed the waiver.
DRE: For some reason I dont expect such beautiful girls to have giant portraits of men on their back.
MK: My guess is that she passed out at a party and somebody did it when she wasnt looking. She probably doesnt look at her back in a mirror very often so she didnt notice. It was probably supposed to be a portrait of Christina Aguilera but whoever did it made it so ugly that they pretended it was me.
by Daniel Robert Epstein
SG Username: AndersWolleck
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Back to fawning over Maynard. Please more.