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pistolita

Portland, Oregon

SG Since 2005

Followers 9828 Following 4840

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Thursday Jan 18, 2007

Jan 18, 2007
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For those of you who are not believers, or for those of you who feel lost, I am here to tell you, that the only thing standing in your way of being found, and believing, are your thoughts alone.

Some people on this site call me strong. Some call me positive. Some say I have a great personality. And you're correct. I am, and have all of these personality traits, but not because I was just born with them. I love myself. I love myself so much to understand that I am my own God in my own universe, and I have the power to create and manifest anything I want to become because I have control over my thoughts, and my energy and therefore my emotions and moods.

I'm halfway referring to the lessons I"ve learned through my energy healer, and I'm also halfway referring to the movie "The Secret". If you don't know what I"m talking about, google it. I hadn't watched the movie up until two days ago, because I was nervous about it. I didn't know how I felt about it, because I was fearful that it would contradict everything I was in motion believing through work with my healer. So I didn't want to back pedal by watching the movie... until he recommended it. So it fell into my hands. And after watching it... I can honestly say, that I've known these things for the past year, but have never had something so blatently explain to me HOW I can manifest my own future.

If you would like to hear my own personal example, I've included it in a little spoiler.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Like I said earlier.. I was told about my pre-cancerous battle over a year ago. When I found out that a virus could cause cancer.. a fucking virus... take away my ability to have children, I knew I had a battle on my hands. But I always knew it would be a battle I would win. I sought counseling from my energy healer, and from friends, but the best decision I ever made was to be pro-active about my healing. I wasn't going to be depressed, or full of worry or anxiety. Those emotions are caused by ugly thoughts that live inside your head. And they feed off of your negativity. They tell you to think sad things, or tell you you're fat, or ugly, or not good enough. They tell you you'll never heal, or that you're stupid, or that you're unable to carry children. They tell you things are too hard, and you'll never accomplish things on your own. Well.. my first step was to recognize those thoughts, stick a face on them, and whenever they appear in my head, instantly mute them.

I did a lot in my life to help my body heal. I changed the way I ate. I changed what I ate. I changed when I ate. I changed my ways of thinking. I stopped smoking, and allowing myself to be around smokey places and smokey people. I have plenty of friends who smoke, but none were offended when I asked them not to smoke around me, because they respect my reasoning. I went to session after session of energy healing. I started taking herbal supplements and drinking massive amounts of water and carrot juice. I started sleeping better and cutting the anxiety out of my life. I stopped taking pills and indulging in bad forms of intoxicants (binge drinking, false sugars, ect.) I did it all, because I respect myself.

So, a month ago, my boyfriend brought some mushrooms home. This wasn't the first time I'd eaten mushrooms. Actually the third time. But the first two times were simple body highs, and not much more than a "sad trip". Meaning, I got really sad and went spiraling into some sort of fear cycle. But this time, I decided I was ready to try again. Rory, my boyfriend, was sick. So we stayed indoors, and turned off all the lights in the house and watched the Christmas tree lights twinkle while we laughed like school children. I was so happy and elated.. and then I started my period. 2 weeks early. Some of you may remember from a previous blog, I stated how I bled for 13 days... well this is what triggered it. I ate mushrooms, and two weeks into my "non bloody" cycle, I started a suprising period that lasted an overwhelming 13 days.

Turns out, that period, did exactly what my body needed it too. It cleaned everything out. No joke. So when I went in for my colposcopy, a week after I stopped bleeding, there was no trace that cancerous cells had ever existed in my cervix.



That's right. I cured my pre-cancerous cervix. By myself. With the help of some wishful thinking, love for my body, and a little shamanism smile

There's nothing in this world I can't do. There's a life waiting for me that I've yet to manifest. I can only hope to inspire people to love themselves too. You are not your negative thoughts. You have to learn to control them, and deny them. The amazing things you can do when you're high on yourself is unmeasurable. Please don't take this lightly.

I'm sending all the people who supported me through my "calendar for charity" process so much love. Because without their positive re-inforcements, I dont know if I would have been able to pick my spirits up. You all have helped, and if one positive person can affect another's positive outlook on life, then I hope to repay you all.

Please look at this as your own act of triumph. You all helped me heal myself, and that is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me.

Oh, the places you will go.

<3 Pistolita

Oh yeah. I'm blue now. More like turquoise.

and because you can't take yourself too seriously when taking self portraits in the fucking bathroom with horrible lighting.




SPOILERS! (Click to view)


This was hiding in my back pocket this whole time. smile And it's just a teaser.

VIEW 25 of 61 COMMENTS
connielingus:
I am beyond speechless. You are such an inspiration and I 110% admire you.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

P.S. - mushrooms + chilling out with Christmas lights = the best shrooming experience I've ever had.love



kiss kiss kiss

Jan 26, 2007
malloreigh:
We should definitely do dinner & drinks (do you drink?) or something then! I'd love to meet you. Currently I am trying to locate my passport, so the trip may not happen if I can't find it. I swear it was on top of my dresser!

Your turquoise looks amazing, and I love, love, LOVED reading your account of what The Law of Attraction did for you. I've just started to actively live my life this way (though I've unconsciously been doing it for a while) and I love hearing people's success stories. It really cements it for me.
Jan 28, 2007

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