In the previous entry, a cute little fairly tale... more and more fantasy. Two entries back, an essay on Pat Tillman. Setting politics aside, I feel it's some of the best writing I've done in a while.
Today, a new play.
"The Two Megans" was written for last year's Seattle Fringe Festival. It is the day in the life of two friends; touching on religion, astrology, super-heroes, and fear.
Megans is a complicated play (for me) and told in an unusual structure. Some visual elements helped in the production, but you won't have that in the script. The first scene may be harder to access because of that.
Both the leads are named Megan, so it may be tougher to keep track of who's talking. A lot of things are thrown on the carpet in the first scene, so it might seem scattered.
The play got very good audience reviews. The link for the Seattle Fringe is dead now, so I may share them email style later.
So, enough of the stumbling introductions. Enjoy the first scene of "The Two Megans".
The Two Megans
A play by Daniel Kaufman
CAST
MEGAN PONCE (Pawn-say), orginally played by Margaret Elliot
MEGAN HANSON, originally played by Kelly Johnson
KYLE, originally played by Jeff Beauvoir
CORY, originally played by Nick Mathews
RACHEL, originally played by Deya Ozburn
and ANNA, originally played by Jen Page
ACT ONE
Scene 1 Sidewalk - The MEGANS enter. MEGAN PONCE digs in her purse. She pulls out a brush with something stuck to it.
MEGAN PONCE
Yuck. I thought I cleaned out all these Skittles rolling around in my purse. And I'm still finding them. It's goddamn gross.
MEGAN HANSON
When did extreme become a noun?
MEGAN PONCE
(pulls off Skittle)
I don't understand.
MEGAN HANSON
Everything has become extreme. Like, you're sitting around talking about... skiing... or some football play. And you say 'That catch was extreme!'.
MEGAN PONCE
I say that?
MEGAN HANSON
No. No, Megan, not you. People. People say that. I was using you like... as an example. Never mind.
MEGAN PONCE
(returns brush to purse)
That catch was extreme doesnt make extreme the noun.
MEGAN HANSON
What?
MEGAN PONCE
The catch is the noun. That catch was extreme... extreme is... the...
(pause)
Catch is the noun.
MEGAN PONCE pulls out her birth control case. A Skittle is stuck to it, half propping it open.
MEGAN PONCE (contd)
Goddamn gross. How am I supposed to...
MEGAN HANSON
When did extreme become...
MEGAN PONCE
(pulls off Skittle)
Megan, how am I supposed to know if this is a Skittle or a...
MEGAN HANSON
You cant tell your birth control pills from a Skittle, Megan?
MEGAN PONCE
No, I can tell. It got stuck to a pill --
MEGAN HANSON
Adjective? I guess.
MEGAN PONCE
How am I going to know if it still works? Should I take two, to make sure I dont get pregnant?
MEGAN HANSON
Why was the pill out of its case? They come in a sealed case --
MEGAN PONCE
This isnt a research paper
MEGAN HANSON
A noun would be, I want to go to the extreme. Like extreme is a grocery store.
MEGAN PONCE closes the case and returns it to her purse.
MEGAN PONCE
Seriously. What... am... I...
MEGAN PONCE drops the Skittle on the floor. MEGAN HANSON watches it fall.
MEGAN HANSON
Dont worry. If anyone is going to get pregnant, youd think it would be Rachel. Her being... you know... her.
MEGAN PONCE
Im not going to get pregnant, Megan.
MEGAN HANSON
Sure, Megan.
MEGAN PONCE
(her fingers are sticky)
What am I going to do with -- what does sure mean?
MEGAN HANSON
Sure means sure. I agree. Youre not Rachel, so theres nothing to worry about.
MEGAN PONCE
What does that mean?
MEGAN HANSON
Who knows?
MEGAN PONCE
You do. That's why I asked. And why was she Stephanie, again?
MEGAN HANSON
Who knows.
MEGAN PONCE
You do.
MEGAN HANSON
Rachel always gets blamed. Rachel always gets takes the heat. Even when we were kids. For stuff. I would always... look innocent. You would always be innocent.
MEGAN PONCE
What is it between you and Rachel lately? Every waking moment.
MEGAN HANSON
Just stop fucking him. You cant get pregnant if you dont have sex.
MEGAN PONCE
Immaculate conception.
MEGAN HANSON
Dont start, Megan.
MEGAN PONCE
Dont start what, Megan? You went to Sunday School, right? You didnt forget everything...
MEGAN HANSON
My parents took me for a few years -
MEGAN PONCE
Its like they wanted to do this good thing... the good parent thing... but you can always tell theyre not into it... I mean I could. Could you?
MEGAN HANSON
Yeah.
MEGAN PONCE
So as soon as you get old enough to figure out what a pain in the ass it is for them to get up every Sunday -
MEGAN HANSON
My dad always wanted to stay home on his day off from work. Remember? My mom took me everywhere on the weekends.
MEGAN PONCE
Once you could tell, it was only a matter of time. Interest would wane. You try to put up a good front --
MEGAN HANSON
Please the parents. Yet send signals that you are bored with the whole thing --
MEGAN PONCE
And as soon as they gave you an excuse... no matter how small... how extreme --
MEGAN HANSON
You took it.
MEGAN PONCE
Work in the yard... sure... got a cold... sure... cramps... that was a good one. Once my periods started, of course. That would have been a good idea before, if I could have thought of it.
MEGAN HANSON
It would have been a good idea to pass on to a younger sister.
MEGAN PONCE
And suddenly you havent gone in a month or two.
MEGAN HANSON
And then you dont have to make excuses anymore.
MEGAN PONCE
It just doesnt come up.
MEGAN HANSON
Dad finally gets to sit in his chair. Watch football.
MEGAN PONCE
My mom cooked on Sundays. Im sure there were moms out there curing cancer or something, but not mine.
MEGAN HANSON
Mine baked. Did all the storybook mom things.
MEGAN PONCE
Except for the divorce, of course.
MEGAN HANSON
That was the final straw alright.
MEGAN PONCE
Gradually there was no more church. And all those lessons about God --
MEGAN HANSON
Cain and Abel.
MEGAN PONCE
Moses.
MEGAN HANSON
Towel of Babel.
MEGAN PONCE
Ten commandments.
MEGAN HANSON
Not that you can name more than three or four of them.
MEGAN PONCE
I can name all of them.
MEGAN HANSON
You meaning me, Megan. The common childhood church goer. You would not be the example. You are the above average adult churchgoer. You are the person the lessons stuck to.
MEGAN PONCE
So I go more often than Christmas and Easter, good for me. And you may think its hypocritical for people to only go twice a year, but I dont think Gods cares why you go. As long as youre going.
MEGAN HANSON
I dont even remember why everyones pissed at Jewish people. I mean, it was the Romans that killed Him wasnt it? They should all be happy... the Christians, I mean. Since their whole religion is based on the fact He was martyred. If he would have lived to a ripe old age, what would Christianity have been like? If he would have died of old age or something? Who do you blame then?
MEGAN PONCE
You remember, what, then? The book of Revelations?
MEGAN HANSON
I think everyone remembers some part of that.
MEGAN PONCE
(pause)
Immaculate conception.
MEGAN HANSON
God damn it, Megan, dont start! Virgin birth or unwed mother, who gives a shit?
MEGAN PONCE
(with conviction as she finished with her purse)
Virgin birth.
(pause)
I remember Aaron. Moses sons, Aaron. The Lord wanted Aaron to bring Him sacrifice. Bulls, rams, and goats. Two goats. Most of the story was reasoning for the blood letting; but what got me was the bit about the two goats.
MEGAN HANSON
Not the bits about the bulls or the rams?
MEGAN PONCE
Aaron threw lots for the goats -- rolled dice, whatever -- and one goat was chosen to be the Lords goat.
MEGAN HANSON
The Lord wanted a goat?
MEGAN PONCE
Who doesnt want a goat? God wanted his goat right away, so it was killed and its blood was sprinkled all over the place --
MEGAN HANSON
I guess it believed in God after that.
MEGAN PONCE
What do you mean?
MEGAN HANSON
The greatest thing that could ever happen would be to be killed by God.
MEGAN PONCE
Really?
MEGAN HANSON
Sure. God comes down, hits you with a... lighting bolt or whatever.
MEGAN PONCE
Okay.
MEGAN HANSON
You now know... absolutely and without a shadow of a doubt... that God exists.
MEGAN PONCE
That goat knew. That goats blood was sprinkled in the temple... blood on the mercy seat -- that was the golden cherubs on the ark of the covenant. You know what the ark was, dont you?
MEGAN HANSON
Yeah, I saw that movie.
MEGAN PONCE
Blood on Aarons fingers. A lot of blood.
MEGAN HANSON
Killed by God.
MEGAN PONCE
Well, killed by a servant of God. Thats where the example breaks down, but thats not my point.
MEGAN HANSON
What happened to the second goat?
MEGAN PONCE
The second goat, Aaron put his hands on... those bloody hands... and this I remember exactly: And Aaron shall lay both his hands upon the head of the live goat -- as opposed to the dead one, I guess - and confess over him all the iniquities of the children of Israel, and all their transgressions in all their sins.
MEGAN HANSON
Damn. Thats a lot of sin.
MEGAN PONCE
This was after, like, sixteen chapters of what was sin! Same sex stuff. Stuff like incest -- even step siblings counted -- even wives or husbands of blood relations counted.
MEGAN HANSON
So, I guess, a same sex, incestuous relationship would be pretty bad. Really bad.
MEGAN PONCE
What does that mean?
MEGAN HANSON
Im not talking about a sister. You know I dont have a sister -
MEGAN PONCE
What are you talking about, Megan?
MEGAN HANSON
Never mind, Megan.
MEGAN PONCE
Did you have sex with your cousin Stephanie?
MEGAN HANSON
You mean Rachel?
MEGAN PONCE
Whatever. Are you telling me you banged Stephanie the Libra -
MEGAN HANSON
No!
(pause)
Im speaking in... theory. In theory. If we... by we I mean... if cousins were to kiss. A couple times. Make out, say.
MEGAN PONCE
You made-out with your cousin Rachel
MEGAN HANSON
Im speaking in theory, God damn you! An example. Would that be sin? According to Aarons goat?
MEGAN PONCE
Having a period was a sin.
MEGAN HANSON
Whhaaat?
MEGAN PONCE
Seven days of uncleanliness.
MEGAN HANSON
Hey, you couldnt have told a younger sister to fake cramps! She would have had to bleed at some point, huh?
MEGAN PONCE
I guess so. You would have had to give the idea to an older cousin.
MEGAN HANSON
You meaning...
MEGAN PONCE
I thought you guys were just hanging out. Im not sure how I feel about that.
MEGAN HANSON
What about angels, Megan?
MEGAN PONCE
What about them?
MEGAN HANSON
Would they be proof? Of Gods existence?
MEGAN PONCE
Its one step removed, isnt it? Do messengers of God prove there is a God? Of course, they do, Megan. Just like you prove the existence of your mom.
MEGAN HANSON
Angels are proof enough for you.
MEGAN PONCE
Well, the messengers of God. Not, like, little greeting card cherubs. Those arent angels.
MEGAN HANSON
Arent angels suppose to watch out for us? Save us from burning cars? That kind of shit?
MEGAN PONCE
No. thats our invention. Our meaning
(motions everyone)
Theyre messengers.
MEGAN HANSON
Because God needs a go between.
MEGAN PONCE
(pause)
Listen, Aaron dumps all this crap on this goat. The live one. ...putting them upon the head of the goat. And then, this was just amazing to me: ...and shall send him away by the hand of a fit man into the wilderness.
(pause)
They let the goat go!
MEGAN HANSON
Im not sure I follow you.
MEGAN PONCE
The good goat Gods goat -- gets sacrificed. And the bad goat... the one bearing the sins of the children of Israel. It gets to go free!
MEGAN HANSON
Im not sure I follow your logic.
MEGAN PONCE
Thats where the term scapegoat came from. The guy that takes the blame for others sins.
MEGAN HANSON
Theyre arent his sins -
MEGAN PONCE
Thats the point, you dumb bitch! Hes still taking the blame for them... hes still taking the responsibility. They become his sins. But he gets to go free!
MEGAN HANSON
The sin bearing goat goes free. The sinners go free, huh? Just like real life.
MEGAN PONCE
The only one thats punished is Gods goat. The one without sin. Everybody else goes free!
MEGAN HANSON
Only the dead go free.
MEGAN PONCE
I cant believe you made out with Stephanie the Libra.
MEGAN HANSON
At least Im not going to get pregnant because Im using goddamn Skittles as birth control.
MEGAN PONCE
Was that her sacrifice? Stephanie, I mean?
MEGAN HANSON
Megan, a lot of people you know have made out with Rachel.
MEGAN PONCE
You dont even like girls, Megan.
MEGAN HANSON
Megan, this is important. My father. He used to read me stories.
MEGAN PONCE
What stories? Biblical stories, you mean?
MEGAN HANSON
No, normal fairy tales. But the stories were not as important as what he did with them.
MEGAN PONCE
Okay.
MEGAN HANSON
He didnt want me to believe in perfect happy endings. That the world was a perfect place. So he would change the endings.
MEGAN PONCE
Didnt want you to? I thought parents want their children to believe in happy endings.
MEGAN HANSON
My dad didnt want me under false illusions. At the end of each story, he would stop for a minute... then tell me the prince and the princess wont really live happily ever after. Theyll have their problems. Fighting. Some rough times.
MEGAN PONCE
Im sorry, but thats more screwed up than you frenching your cousin.
MEGAN HANSON
It was certainly a realistic approach.
MEGAN PONCE
You were a kid, for Christs sake. Kids need unabashed, complete fantasy for as long as possible.
MEGAN HANSON
But life is hard sometimes. Look at that poor goat. You have to be ready for it.
MEGAN PONCE
Thats what those fantasies give us. Why try, unless somewhere in the back of your mind you have this image about how perfect the world could be. You meaning... me. Us.
MEGAN HANSON
But my dad said there had to be bad, or there wouldnt be good. If we had a perfect world, there wouldnt be a reason to want to go to heaven. Everything cant come up roses all the time, or roses would just be... daisies.
MEGAN PONCE
There are no happy endings.
MEGAN HANSON
Maybe. It depends on which ending you tell.
MEGAN PONCE
Why is this important?
MEGAN HANSON
You know Rachel is a Scorpio, right?
MEGAN PONCE
(pause)
How did Rachel become Stephanie?
MEGAN HANSON
Did you know first cousins are legal in Washington State?
MEGAN PONCE
You are kidding me, Megan.
MEGAN HANSON
Seriously, Megan.
MEGAN PONCE
Are you going to marry your cousin? Can you marry lesbian first cousins in Washington State, too?
MEGAN HANSON
Naw, too extreme.
MEGAN PONCE
Extreme is a noun, you stupid bitch.
MEGAN HANSON
You can use it as a noun or an adjective.
(pause)
You dont like me sometimes, do you, Megan?
MEGAN PONCE
How did Rachel the Scorpio become Stephanie the Libra?
MEGAN HANSON
Thats my point, Megan. Thats the point. Its all whether you believe in happy endings.
(pause)
You get jealous when I spend time with Stephanie.
MEGAN PONCE
And you get jealous when I spend time with Kyle.
MEGAN HANSON
You dont like me anymore, do you Megan?
MEGAN HANSON pulls an apple out of her purse.
MEGAN HANSON (contd)
Hey Megan, do you like apples?
MEGAN PONCE
Are you being biblical, Megan?
MEGAN HANSON
No, Megan, I just wanted to know if you want to share my apple.
MEGAN PONCE
(matter of fact)
When I bite down... the skin of the apple... the edge... feels like a dull knife running along my lip.
MEGAN HANSON
Each bite as dangerous as Eve.
MEGAN PONCE
You are being biblical.
(pause)
I like you all the time, Megan. It just hurts me to say so sometimes.
Megan Hanson bites the apple.
MEGAN HANSON
Where angels fear to tread. Youve heard that, right?
MEGAN PONCE
The saying? Sure.
MEGAN HANSON
Where is that? Exactly?
MEGAN PONCE
Where would the messenger of God... be afraid to go?
MEGAN HANSON
(pause)
My point is... if you believe in happy endings... and angels without fear... then it doesnt matter. Scorpio to Libra.
MEGAN PONCE
Your point...
MEGAN HANSON
My point... Megan... if you want a happy ending... that it shouldnt matter. Rachel to Stephanie.
END SCENE ONE
Today, a new play.
"The Two Megans" was written for last year's Seattle Fringe Festival. It is the day in the life of two friends; touching on religion, astrology, super-heroes, and fear.
Megans is a complicated play (for me) and told in an unusual structure. Some visual elements helped in the production, but you won't have that in the script. The first scene may be harder to access because of that.
Both the leads are named Megan, so it may be tougher to keep track of who's talking. A lot of things are thrown on the carpet in the first scene, so it might seem scattered.
The play got very good audience reviews. The link for the Seattle Fringe is dead now, so I may share them email style later.
So, enough of the stumbling introductions. Enjoy the first scene of "The Two Megans".
The Two Megans
A play by Daniel Kaufman
CAST
MEGAN PONCE (Pawn-say), orginally played by Margaret Elliot
MEGAN HANSON, originally played by Kelly Johnson
KYLE, originally played by Jeff Beauvoir
CORY, originally played by Nick Mathews
RACHEL, originally played by Deya Ozburn
and ANNA, originally played by Jen Page
ACT ONE
Scene 1 Sidewalk - The MEGANS enter. MEGAN PONCE digs in her purse. She pulls out a brush with something stuck to it.
MEGAN PONCE
Yuck. I thought I cleaned out all these Skittles rolling around in my purse. And I'm still finding them. It's goddamn gross.
MEGAN HANSON
When did extreme become a noun?
MEGAN PONCE
(pulls off Skittle)
I don't understand.
MEGAN HANSON
Everything has become extreme. Like, you're sitting around talking about... skiing... or some football play. And you say 'That catch was extreme!'.
MEGAN PONCE
I say that?
MEGAN HANSON
No. No, Megan, not you. People. People say that. I was using you like... as an example. Never mind.
MEGAN PONCE
(returns brush to purse)
That catch was extreme doesnt make extreme the noun.
MEGAN HANSON
What?
MEGAN PONCE
The catch is the noun. That catch was extreme... extreme is... the...
(pause)
Catch is the noun.
MEGAN PONCE pulls out her birth control case. A Skittle is stuck to it, half propping it open.
MEGAN PONCE (contd)
Goddamn gross. How am I supposed to...
MEGAN HANSON
When did extreme become...
MEGAN PONCE
(pulls off Skittle)
Megan, how am I supposed to know if this is a Skittle or a...
MEGAN HANSON
You cant tell your birth control pills from a Skittle, Megan?
MEGAN PONCE
No, I can tell. It got stuck to a pill --
MEGAN HANSON
Adjective? I guess.
MEGAN PONCE
How am I going to know if it still works? Should I take two, to make sure I dont get pregnant?
MEGAN HANSON
Why was the pill out of its case? They come in a sealed case --
MEGAN PONCE
This isnt a research paper
MEGAN HANSON
A noun would be, I want to go to the extreme. Like extreme is a grocery store.
MEGAN PONCE closes the case and returns it to her purse.
MEGAN PONCE
Seriously. What... am... I...
MEGAN PONCE drops the Skittle on the floor. MEGAN HANSON watches it fall.
MEGAN HANSON
Dont worry. If anyone is going to get pregnant, youd think it would be Rachel. Her being... you know... her.
MEGAN PONCE
Im not going to get pregnant, Megan.
MEGAN HANSON
Sure, Megan.
MEGAN PONCE
(her fingers are sticky)
What am I going to do with -- what does sure mean?
MEGAN HANSON
Sure means sure. I agree. Youre not Rachel, so theres nothing to worry about.
MEGAN PONCE
What does that mean?
MEGAN HANSON
Who knows?
MEGAN PONCE
You do. That's why I asked. And why was she Stephanie, again?
MEGAN HANSON
Who knows.
MEGAN PONCE
You do.
MEGAN HANSON
Rachel always gets blamed. Rachel always gets takes the heat. Even when we were kids. For stuff. I would always... look innocent. You would always be innocent.
MEGAN PONCE
What is it between you and Rachel lately? Every waking moment.
MEGAN HANSON
Just stop fucking him. You cant get pregnant if you dont have sex.
MEGAN PONCE
Immaculate conception.
MEGAN HANSON
Dont start, Megan.
MEGAN PONCE
Dont start what, Megan? You went to Sunday School, right? You didnt forget everything...
MEGAN HANSON
My parents took me for a few years -
MEGAN PONCE
Its like they wanted to do this good thing... the good parent thing... but you can always tell theyre not into it... I mean I could. Could you?
MEGAN HANSON
Yeah.
MEGAN PONCE
So as soon as you get old enough to figure out what a pain in the ass it is for them to get up every Sunday -
MEGAN HANSON
My dad always wanted to stay home on his day off from work. Remember? My mom took me everywhere on the weekends.
MEGAN PONCE
Once you could tell, it was only a matter of time. Interest would wane. You try to put up a good front --
MEGAN HANSON
Please the parents. Yet send signals that you are bored with the whole thing --
MEGAN PONCE
And as soon as they gave you an excuse... no matter how small... how extreme --
MEGAN HANSON
You took it.
MEGAN PONCE
Work in the yard... sure... got a cold... sure... cramps... that was a good one. Once my periods started, of course. That would have been a good idea before, if I could have thought of it.
MEGAN HANSON
It would have been a good idea to pass on to a younger sister.
MEGAN PONCE
And suddenly you havent gone in a month or two.
MEGAN HANSON
And then you dont have to make excuses anymore.
MEGAN PONCE
It just doesnt come up.
MEGAN HANSON
Dad finally gets to sit in his chair. Watch football.
MEGAN PONCE
My mom cooked on Sundays. Im sure there were moms out there curing cancer or something, but not mine.
MEGAN HANSON
Mine baked. Did all the storybook mom things.
MEGAN PONCE
Except for the divorce, of course.
MEGAN HANSON
That was the final straw alright.
MEGAN PONCE
Gradually there was no more church. And all those lessons about God --
MEGAN HANSON
Cain and Abel.
MEGAN PONCE
Moses.
MEGAN HANSON
Towel of Babel.
MEGAN PONCE
Ten commandments.
MEGAN HANSON
Not that you can name more than three or four of them.
MEGAN PONCE
I can name all of them.
MEGAN HANSON
You meaning me, Megan. The common childhood church goer. You would not be the example. You are the above average adult churchgoer. You are the person the lessons stuck to.
MEGAN PONCE
So I go more often than Christmas and Easter, good for me. And you may think its hypocritical for people to only go twice a year, but I dont think Gods cares why you go. As long as youre going.
MEGAN HANSON
I dont even remember why everyones pissed at Jewish people. I mean, it was the Romans that killed Him wasnt it? They should all be happy... the Christians, I mean. Since their whole religion is based on the fact He was martyred. If he would have lived to a ripe old age, what would Christianity have been like? If he would have died of old age or something? Who do you blame then?
MEGAN PONCE
You remember, what, then? The book of Revelations?
MEGAN HANSON
I think everyone remembers some part of that.
MEGAN PONCE
(pause)
Immaculate conception.
MEGAN HANSON
God damn it, Megan, dont start! Virgin birth or unwed mother, who gives a shit?
MEGAN PONCE
(with conviction as she finished with her purse)
Virgin birth.
(pause)
I remember Aaron. Moses sons, Aaron. The Lord wanted Aaron to bring Him sacrifice. Bulls, rams, and goats. Two goats. Most of the story was reasoning for the blood letting; but what got me was the bit about the two goats.
MEGAN HANSON
Not the bits about the bulls or the rams?
MEGAN PONCE
Aaron threw lots for the goats -- rolled dice, whatever -- and one goat was chosen to be the Lords goat.
MEGAN HANSON
The Lord wanted a goat?
MEGAN PONCE
Who doesnt want a goat? God wanted his goat right away, so it was killed and its blood was sprinkled all over the place --
MEGAN HANSON
I guess it believed in God after that.
MEGAN PONCE
What do you mean?
MEGAN HANSON
The greatest thing that could ever happen would be to be killed by God.
MEGAN PONCE
Really?
MEGAN HANSON
Sure. God comes down, hits you with a... lighting bolt or whatever.
MEGAN PONCE
Okay.
MEGAN HANSON
You now know... absolutely and without a shadow of a doubt... that God exists.
MEGAN PONCE
That goat knew. That goats blood was sprinkled in the temple... blood on the mercy seat -- that was the golden cherubs on the ark of the covenant. You know what the ark was, dont you?
MEGAN HANSON
Yeah, I saw that movie.
MEGAN PONCE
Blood on Aarons fingers. A lot of blood.
MEGAN HANSON
Killed by God.
MEGAN PONCE
Well, killed by a servant of God. Thats where the example breaks down, but thats not my point.
MEGAN HANSON
What happened to the second goat?
MEGAN PONCE
The second goat, Aaron put his hands on... those bloody hands... and this I remember exactly: And Aaron shall lay both his hands upon the head of the live goat -- as opposed to the dead one, I guess - and confess over him all the iniquities of the children of Israel, and all their transgressions in all their sins.
MEGAN HANSON
Damn. Thats a lot of sin.
MEGAN PONCE
This was after, like, sixteen chapters of what was sin! Same sex stuff. Stuff like incest -- even step siblings counted -- even wives or husbands of blood relations counted.
MEGAN HANSON
So, I guess, a same sex, incestuous relationship would be pretty bad. Really bad.
MEGAN PONCE
What does that mean?
MEGAN HANSON
Im not talking about a sister. You know I dont have a sister -
MEGAN PONCE
What are you talking about, Megan?
MEGAN HANSON
Never mind, Megan.
MEGAN PONCE
Did you have sex with your cousin Stephanie?
MEGAN HANSON
You mean Rachel?
MEGAN PONCE
Whatever. Are you telling me you banged Stephanie the Libra -
MEGAN HANSON
No!
(pause)
Im speaking in... theory. In theory. If we... by we I mean... if cousins were to kiss. A couple times. Make out, say.
MEGAN PONCE
You made-out with your cousin Rachel
MEGAN HANSON
Im speaking in theory, God damn you! An example. Would that be sin? According to Aarons goat?
MEGAN PONCE
Having a period was a sin.
MEGAN HANSON
Whhaaat?
MEGAN PONCE
Seven days of uncleanliness.
MEGAN HANSON
Hey, you couldnt have told a younger sister to fake cramps! She would have had to bleed at some point, huh?
MEGAN PONCE
I guess so. You would have had to give the idea to an older cousin.
MEGAN HANSON
You meaning...
MEGAN PONCE
I thought you guys were just hanging out. Im not sure how I feel about that.
MEGAN HANSON
What about angels, Megan?
MEGAN PONCE
What about them?
MEGAN HANSON
Would they be proof? Of Gods existence?
MEGAN PONCE
Its one step removed, isnt it? Do messengers of God prove there is a God? Of course, they do, Megan. Just like you prove the existence of your mom.
MEGAN HANSON
Angels are proof enough for you.
MEGAN PONCE
Well, the messengers of God. Not, like, little greeting card cherubs. Those arent angels.
MEGAN HANSON
Arent angels suppose to watch out for us? Save us from burning cars? That kind of shit?
MEGAN PONCE
No. thats our invention. Our meaning
(motions everyone)
Theyre messengers.
MEGAN HANSON
Because God needs a go between.
MEGAN PONCE
(pause)
Listen, Aaron dumps all this crap on this goat. The live one. ...putting them upon the head of the goat. And then, this was just amazing to me: ...and shall send him away by the hand of a fit man into the wilderness.
(pause)
They let the goat go!
MEGAN HANSON
Im not sure I follow you.
MEGAN PONCE
The good goat Gods goat -- gets sacrificed. And the bad goat... the one bearing the sins of the children of Israel. It gets to go free!
MEGAN HANSON
Im not sure I follow your logic.
MEGAN PONCE
Thats where the term scapegoat came from. The guy that takes the blame for others sins.
MEGAN HANSON
Theyre arent his sins -
MEGAN PONCE
Thats the point, you dumb bitch! Hes still taking the blame for them... hes still taking the responsibility. They become his sins. But he gets to go free!
MEGAN HANSON
The sin bearing goat goes free. The sinners go free, huh? Just like real life.
MEGAN PONCE
The only one thats punished is Gods goat. The one without sin. Everybody else goes free!
MEGAN HANSON
Only the dead go free.
MEGAN PONCE
I cant believe you made out with Stephanie the Libra.
MEGAN HANSON
At least Im not going to get pregnant because Im using goddamn Skittles as birth control.
MEGAN PONCE
Was that her sacrifice? Stephanie, I mean?
MEGAN HANSON
Megan, a lot of people you know have made out with Rachel.
MEGAN PONCE
You dont even like girls, Megan.
MEGAN HANSON
Megan, this is important. My father. He used to read me stories.
MEGAN PONCE
What stories? Biblical stories, you mean?
MEGAN HANSON
No, normal fairy tales. But the stories were not as important as what he did with them.
MEGAN PONCE
Okay.
MEGAN HANSON
He didnt want me to believe in perfect happy endings. That the world was a perfect place. So he would change the endings.
MEGAN PONCE
Didnt want you to? I thought parents want their children to believe in happy endings.
MEGAN HANSON
My dad didnt want me under false illusions. At the end of each story, he would stop for a minute... then tell me the prince and the princess wont really live happily ever after. Theyll have their problems. Fighting. Some rough times.
MEGAN PONCE
Im sorry, but thats more screwed up than you frenching your cousin.
MEGAN HANSON
It was certainly a realistic approach.
MEGAN PONCE
You were a kid, for Christs sake. Kids need unabashed, complete fantasy for as long as possible.
MEGAN HANSON
But life is hard sometimes. Look at that poor goat. You have to be ready for it.
MEGAN PONCE
Thats what those fantasies give us. Why try, unless somewhere in the back of your mind you have this image about how perfect the world could be. You meaning... me. Us.
MEGAN HANSON
But my dad said there had to be bad, or there wouldnt be good. If we had a perfect world, there wouldnt be a reason to want to go to heaven. Everything cant come up roses all the time, or roses would just be... daisies.
MEGAN PONCE
There are no happy endings.
MEGAN HANSON
Maybe. It depends on which ending you tell.
MEGAN PONCE
Why is this important?
MEGAN HANSON
You know Rachel is a Scorpio, right?
MEGAN PONCE
(pause)
How did Rachel become Stephanie?
MEGAN HANSON
Did you know first cousins are legal in Washington State?
MEGAN PONCE
You are kidding me, Megan.
MEGAN HANSON
Seriously, Megan.
MEGAN PONCE
Are you going to marry your cousin? Can you marry lesbian first cousins in Washington State, too?
MEGAN HANSON
Naw, too extreme.
MEGAN PONCE
Extreme is a noun, you stupid bitch.
MEGAN HANSON
You can use it as a noun or an adjective.
(pause)
You dont like me sometimes, do you, Megan?
MEGAN PONCE
How did Rachel the Scorpio become Stephanie the Libra?
MEGAN HANSON
Thats my point, Megan. Thats the point. Its all whether you believe in happy endings.
(pause)
You get jealous when I spend time with Stephanie.
MEGAN PONCE
And you get jealous when I spend time with Kyle.
MEGAN HANSON
You dont like me anymore, do you Megan?
MEGAN HANSON pulls an apple out of her purse.
MEGAN HANSON (contd)
Hey Megan, do you like apples?
MEGAN PONCE
Are you being biblical, Megan?
MEGAN HANSON
No, Megan, I just wanted to know if you want to share my apple.
MEGAN PONCE
(matter of fact)
When I bite down... the skin of the apple... the edge... feels like a dull knife running along my lip.
MEGAN HANSON
Each bite as dangerous as Eve.
MEGAN PONCE
You are being biblical.
(pause)
I like you all the time, Megan. It just hurts me to say so sometimes.
Megan Hanson bites the apple.
MEGAN HANSON
Where angels fear to tread. Youve heard that, right?
MEGAN PONCE
The saying? Sure.
MEGAN HANSON
Where is that? Exactly?
MEGAN PONCE
Where would the messenger of God... be afraid to go?
MEGAN HANSON
(pause)
My point is... if you believe in happy endings... and angels without fear... then it doesnt matter. Scorpio to Libra.
MEGAN PONCE
Your point...
MEGAN HANSON
My point... Megan... if you want a happy ending... that it shouldnt matter. Rachel to Stephanie.
END SCENE ONE
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
Now you're forcing me to get up early and read!
When's the next scene go up? I wanna meet Rachel.