Missing Someone So Much It Hurts

What do you do when you miss someone so much it hurts? Do you have photos of them? Do you listen to music they used to make? Do you read their blogs?

Or do you put them at the back of your mind, make a clean break, put them behind you?

I never put them to the back of my mind, or put them behind me. By doing that you are almost putting them in the "it never happened" category. Those memories are there for a reason, whether they still hurt or not. Take time out to remember how they were, how they made you laugh, cry and go all gooey. Have a laugh and a cry yourself it is always good to express your emotions, never try and keep them in otherwise that will end up doing you more harm than good. Remember the good times, and not the sad ones, keep photos that you can look at whenever you just want time to reflect on their lives. Their blogs may be too personal if the hurt is still raw, if so, pack them away for a later date when you are more emotionally able to read them. Talk with someone about how you feel, whether it be someone who knows/knew you both, or whether it's a total stranger who can just listen while you pour it all out. Believe me, it does help. You'll never forget them, but the hurt will ease with time, and support from other people.

Good luck sweetie

Never felt like that before.... It's weird, because I've loved someone very much, but never completely. I guess it's a defensive mech., because I tend to push people to the back of my mind easily. I don't know. I have trust issues, I guess, so I never allowed myself to freely engulf myself into a relationship. I have good friends though.

Just think in a few years time you will hate them, thats what happens to me

Just think in a few years time you will hate them, thats what happens to me

When I moved to Sydney six months ago, I thought I'd be able to get over her.

Instead I wake up and for a moment I'm happier than I've ever been, then I realize that it was a dream and feel so absolutely crushed that I can't move for the next few hours.

I'm saddened that there was never a clean break, but each day I feel a bit better. I can't tell if that's because I'm going back to visit in December or because I'm finally getting over her. I talk to her online, occasionally, but aside from that, I lost all pictures of her and it's hard to go through with calling her. I don't know if any advice I give now means anything, but just remember what made you happy with them and try to find that in the people around you.

I totally do all those things. I'm glad I don't have to miss him anymore.

I have no good answers I'm afraid. When I'm missing someone, that's the only thing I can think about, everything reminds me of that person, and it drives me insane. You have to develop some way of coping with that, and I guess I usually take the cop out route, and either get drunk or stoned and wait for that sick feeling to pass. Stuff that reminds me of that person, ie photos, songs, etc, just makes it worse for me.

when my partner and i decided to break up whilst he went on tour for 2years, i saw other people (so did he) and i missed him so much but i didnt want to keep ringing him because i knew if in the future we were to get back together we would both need to see other people so curiosity didnt mess us up in the future.
i looked at photos of him whilst i listened to recordings we did together and i also had this psychotic thing where i kept a pillow case that he slept on just before he left in a zip lock bag and i would smell it (yeah i know its fucking crazy alright.....) he knew i had it and would laugh at me when we did speak about it.

we got back together when he came back though... i still hate him being away for gigs/when im away for gigs though..... and the psycho pillow case has lost its smell

I just plain hurt. I can feel it in my chest. And then I write music.

love seems to always hurt, no matter what I tend to do about it. But I still love to love, and I always will

i try to push it out of my mind. if i let myself dwell on the feeling of loss it just snowballs into an increasingly terrible feeling. so if i find myself at the point of "missing so much it hurts", i'll try to think of reasons my life is better without that person, what i learned from them, and be thankful that we had a chance to be part of each other's lives for a while. then i'll try to focus that energy on something more productive- draw, listen to upbeat music, go on a long bike ride, take photos, etc.

I hate the hurt that love brings. Music is usually my way to address my feelings but lately I don't want to play, write or listen anymore. Everything reminds me of her. I thought I'd move on overnight and I'd be ok but it has put it's toll on me. I try to find comfort elsewhere but I can't. The best thing I've found so far is to be with friends. Friends that'll help you keep your spirits up and keep your mind away from what's bothering you. The worst part is I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my feelings. Nobody knows what's going on with me because I refuse to open up. I'm an overfilled bottle of emotions.

It just felt a little better to write this.

I slowly hid all of his things, eventually there was nothing to remind me of him, and yet I relapsed. I've since looked at some pictures, tried calling him (he actually still wants to talk which is nice) and began sleeping his old t-shirt he gave me.

I stopped talking to my friends about it because it would be absolutely redundant for them to hear me whining over and over again how much I miss him. I'm really trying to move past it, but it's not happening just yet. It takes time.

I recently went through a break up. It was as close as I've come to wanting to be with someone for ever. We would openly talk about being together forever..... some sad circumstances made things to tough to be together and we split up. This has been by far the biggest blow my heart has ever taken. But time has moved on and I can get through a day without my insides twisting and turning with lossed love.

Im glad I'm not hurting as much now, but I'm also a little sad that the feeling is going and our time is becoming just a memory. And sad that due to external problems we were driven against each other.

But you survive and move on....... and thats whats happened. THEN I have a vivid dream with her in it and from the time I wake up till the time I go to sleep again my heart cryes all day and night missing her so baddly that I feel so alone having lost my close buddy and love that I have to force myself just to continue my day so I can get home and look at her pictures.

Mentally I can see the sense in moving on, but emotions don't switch off that easilly.

However, it does help to keep reminding yourself that new things will come along and that letting go is the best thing to do.

Time does heal...

I'm actually lucky in a sense. I've never been emotionally attached to a person enough to miss them all that much. Of course there is the requisite week or so of getting over a breakup...but that's passing.

So...I'm of virtually no help here.

I tend to mope. A lot. I then go through a phase of trying to validate my existence by sleeping with the worst types of women. Then, when the feelings of self disgust finally subside, I discover that I'm not missing them quite so much.

Oh, and lots and lots of booze.

I miss me Siamese twin. He took the good kidney.

I know a guy that'll get it back for you for £20.

If you're really missing them that much, you can't put them to the back of your mind, not for long anyway.
Keeping busy and focusing on other things helps keep your mind off of them, and consequently helps to ease the pain.
I'm not saying that you should try to forget them, just give yourself time to get over them.
When you're ready to move on, you will.

I am desperately missing someone but I don't know them. It's more of me missing a connection- missing passion and love for another human being. I can't explain it but I feel as if I've lost something and I can't explain it as it is not directed at anyone in particular.

I find myself sitting there wishing I had another soul to share a moment with frequently.

I can't imagine the pain of missing an actual person.



And if you're referring to the person you mention in your journal... remember her. Cherish the memories and embrace the relationship that you had.

I'm still working that one out.

It depends. If I miss them but they are not good for me..I do my best to distract myself and move onward and upward. If I miss someone and they don't miss me, I'll find a picture and destroy it. If I miss someone but things were good and just couldn't be, I do look at photos, read old letters, and remember them fondly (and cry a lot).

All the way aroung time does heal. corny but true.

sorry you are missing someone. Hope it feels better soon.