NEWS: Clueless Old People Surprised by Success of Warped Tour

MUSIC: Clueless Old People Surprised by Success of Warped Tour

As presale tickets are made available for this year's Warped Tour, a newspaper story with the headline "Warped Tour Thrives Even as Music Business Slumps" is making the rounds.

Warped Tour thrives as business slumps? That's pretty much the journalism equivalent of standing there in a puddle of your own drool, slack-jawed, wide-eyed and pointing. Should anyone be surprised enough by this for it to warrant a headline?

All you ever hear is the concert business is shakey or downloading is killing music, but the truth of it is indie bands and labels that are actually, you know, in touch with the fans or involved because they love the music are doing just fine.

By the way, there's a charity promotion associated with the Warped Tour this year where, starting April 17, fans can bid on tickets that allow them to watch a favorite band from the stage. Proceeds go to fight cancer.

Joan Jett is playing this year. Man, what I wouldn't give to be mere feet away from a sweaty, rockin' Joan Jett... Do you think that if I swapped out my man-thing for girl parts I could get her to, uh, touch them?

No, wait, don't answer that. Just... Just... Just leave me alone with my pathetic little fantasies. Joan Jett, sigh.

Man thing? Girl Parts? What are you talking about?

Yeah, Warped Tour bands are totally in touch with their roots. I hear AFI and Saves the Day play basement shows off-season! Ba dum ch!

I don't get it. Any of this.

when you get older, and the time comes as it does in all of our lives, we'll sit down and have a talk about man-things, girl parts, hoo-hahs, pubes, tampons and all the many mysteries of life. for now, the important thing to remember is: don't be scared.

i think you could make the case that these bands being too popular to do that anymore is a perfect example of them knowing how to give their fans what they want. and it's a popularity that's grown organically -- contrast that with the top-down model favored by the bloated pop-music industry, where they assemble legions of fake-ass bands in some sort of hellish factory, then spend a bazillion dollars pushing them down people's throats in hopes one act will catch on and sell enough to justify the costs.

Uh... not it isn't.

But this warrants a whole article?

AFI is too big to play in a basement, sure, but it's difficult to argue that the Circuit City / Hurley / Solid State / East Pack / Hot Topic / Gold Bond / Trojan / Spin / STA Travel / Cingular / Volcom / Energizer / Virgin / Elle Girl / Atlantic / MySpace / Atticus / Lost Energy Drink / Rhapsody / Sirius / Monster / Play Station / Guitar Center / AP / SanDisk-sponsored Van's Warped Tour is much different than any other corporate rock festival, just with a different soundtrack. As for the fanbase growing organically... I mean, Red Hot Chili Peppers used to be indie. So what?

Not that I care either way, really. Bands can do whatever they want, I'm not one to judge per se, but I don't like the argument that Van's Warped Tour is in any way representative of an indie or alternative subculture. Hell, even their biggest political group, PunkVoter, is just an advertisement for the Democratic party. Yawn.

[Edited on Apr 03, 2006 5:12AM]

Jaklyn, it is too, because the writer doesn't address why high-profile segments of the music business are slumping or, really, how the Warped Tour offers something different. it's a lazy, witless article.

in addition to commenting on how mainstream journalism is woefully out-of-touch with actual happening trends, trends that might actually interest people who frequent a site devoted in part to the subculture being covered, the "whole article" (if "article" is even the word) lets readers know advance tickets are on sale, provides them with links to order them as well as check out the dates and bands on the main page, includes mention of a charity promotion that seems cool and has a couple of dumb jokes. so there you go.

i hear you, but my point was more that the warped tour was simply in touch with what kids might want to hear.

Since when are headlines supposed to be surprising? The news is there to inform, not shock.

Besides that, I like your articles so far.

Okay, word up then. Let's go get pizza!

If you used to go-go dance at Don Hill's, like me, you could not only get Joan Jett to touch your "man-thing," she would have paid you for the privilege.

young joan jett? yesss.

now?


hm.

Why god why? JOAN JETT? She is a QUEEN, why the fuck is she playing at a show for pussy rockers?!

I'd still do her.

haha good call. I know I would.

now more than EVAR!

dude i'de so jump on her.

I was about 6 feet away from Joan Jett at a show in So. California several years ago. I can attest to her up-close and personal hotness. All sweaty in a little rubber shirt...

Drool.....

I saw Joan Jett in Houston in like...'83 or something, she gave me wood then...she still gives me wood.

Just put on her fetish cd and stare at her picture a while...serious wood.