Self defense against the undead.

ENTRY 1:


Zombies, you hate them, I hate them. Statistics are showing that zombie attacks are on the rise .

Zombie chart, oh noes!

You might be asking yourself "but Zosso zombies are slow, they wouldn't be able to catch me." Well you are wrong mother fucker. As shown in this Zombie infestation simulation , zombies are quite cabable of killing you, and your entire family.

With the ever impending threat of full scale zombie world domination, can you trust your towns small angry mob abilities?

I think not!!

Thats why I bring to you, Hand to hand combat with zombies. Now you too can slay thousands and thousands of the undead with no fear of bodily harm!


I have far too much time on my hands!

Cat!

[Edited on Mar 12, 2005 by Zosso]

Welcome to the nuthouse.

Of course you are from a place called "Killeen".

I feel much safer now. Thank you, Zosso. What remains of my brain is safe for a bit longer....

Don't get mixed up with these two. No good could possibly come of it.

I'm going to go get Lain. He'll steer you straight.

Zombies are wimps..Fear the goats...
No one ever suspects the goat.

*shifty eyes*

Zosso wins and is now President of SG.

Hail Zosso!

Agreed.

Wow. I just... WOW.

*slow clap*

That Zombie infestation simulation was pretty mesmerizing until it crashed my computer.

DAMN ZOMBIES!

You should join either the Zombie Group... or the Horror Group.... they have had many many threads just like this... infact they've done this topic to death... then back again.

Wow! "The nOOb that you like". A rare breed indeed!

An important issue!

Welcome to the site!

You might want to go here....

I think I just wet my pants laughing. Bastard!!

hey now...

we aren't ALL BAD!


*cough*

*picks out bits of brain from teeth*

I got a score of -78156 on the Zombie Sim.

That sounds.......not.......good.

Agreed.

This is how first posts should be done! With useful information that increases my chances of surviving the walking dead!

Pfff, now if it had been a ZOMBIE cat, that would have been something! Seriously, I am addicted to the simulator. I need to find a way to make it my screensaver!

You're now my hero. I no longer fear having by brains eaten.

"A winner is you
Winners dont do drugs"

..... apparently

I tried but I cannot find a zombie cat picture.
I love the simulation and thought that I would have to let my remaining walled in 52 humans live until i discovered that the e key will allow the zombies to break down walls.
Bwahahahaha...no more humans.

genious

genius....


*giggle*

ENTRY 2:


I'm glad you brought that up Jim.

Jim "EGAD"

In my last post I covered how to defend yourself from multiple zombie attackers. But sometimes that just isn't enough, lets be honest, Bob, these are dangerous times, and sometimes defending yourself from zombies just isn't enough. The next logical step in combating evil is knowing how to kill a vampire.




Thats why I bring to you, how to defend yourself from vampires.


Note: in the case of multiple vampire, or vampire + zombie attacks, you should refer to my other tactics.



Bob "Vampires, zosso? I thought those where all just make believe"

Hah what a foolish life you lead John, here's a rock to kill yourself with.

Billy "OH NOES! my life is a lie"

OH NOES, is right Steve. Once again statistcs are showing that vampire injuries are the second leading cause of minor boo boo's in German livestock.
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Soccer TV Pie Vampires


With the odds against you why would you risk not knowing the secrets of close combat against vampires?

Jack "You'd have to be a dumb@^$!"

Thats correct sir!

I point you towards my 3 (living) not paid very well, testamonials.

Enfanterrible - "Thanks to zossos' time honored vampire fighting tactics I was able to kill not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, not ten, not eleven, not twelve not thirteen, not fourteen, not fifteen, not sixteen, not seventeen, not eighteen, not twenty, not twenty one, not twenty two, not twenty five, not twenty eight, not thirty, not thirty three, not thirty five, not even thirty six, but thirty-seven vampires. All at once, blindfolded."

leiraXariel - "I was able to... wait a second, zosso!?! You know the rules of the court settlment you're not allowed within 500 feet of me!"

COME BACK, I JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU!!

leiraXariel - "GET THE %$� AWAY FROM ME!"

Zombee - "shoes."




[Edited on Mar 13, 2005 by Zosso]