Swinging and sex parties

actually i dont agree. if its a healthy relationship, the other person usually does know whats going on away from them. there is always worry of emotions getting tied to sex, but you just have to trust your partner. if the trust wasnt there to begin with, well then thats the problem. and if your going to have girl-guy-girl, then your partner has to be fair and allow you guy-girl-guy of you want =) like usually me an dmy guy, we like to have another girl, but if i wanted to do it with him and another guy, he would be ok with that, even though he is not really bi. but there is an understanding in open relationships if the person goes off to fool around with another person. and my boyfriend told me that in his case it even strengthened his relationship with his primary at the time.

Csilla - but most of the guys into the guy-girl-guy thing aren't bi - so that doesn't play into it - there is probably no connection or eomtional or sexual involvement between the two guys - the same risk that is there between two girls if they are all in the same bed...or if the girls are together away
I agree that it all depends on trust. I prefer bi girls. NOT for the stereotypical reason you might expect - not for the whoel guy-girl-girl thing. To me, bi girls are more sensual, kiny, passionate, experimental, open - which makes the physical side more enjoyable. While I have done the guy-girl-girl thing and enjoyed it - it is not my preference. And if I do have that requisite level - I am fine saying - just go with her - have your fun - that's fine - enjoy yourelf - just please don't get emotionally involved with her or fall in love or do anything that would jeapordize our relationship. To be honest - I do not know if I could say that to her if she was going to do the same with another guy. Which is hypocritical - but I have never been in that situation - so I don't know. You referenced your own relationship with you guy - and you may not want to answer this here (you can e-mail me) or at all and it may be none of my biz but you brought the two of you up - if he were in that same situation and you were off away from him to roll in the hay with some guy just for fun and not emotion - would he be down with that?

well he expects me to be ok with it, so equally he is expected to be ok with it. its one of the understandings we have. like ground rules. you have to set ground rules. hehe

hey if it works for both of you - I say MORE POWER to you

you said it girl!!!! once again my hero

csilla - your boy toy must be understanding alot because I got your piz and you must have men and women lining up for dates

I have been in "open" relationships and poly situations, and they are physically satisfying, I think when I hit about 25 or 26 I came to the conclusion that an open relationship lacks the INTENSE intimacy that I need, now poly is another subject, bringing a third lover into a bed requires the person who is outnumbered, so to speak, to make sure that his attention is split evenly, or better yet leaning slightly to the person he will be lying in bed with the following night. Screw this part up, and you are in deep shit. It can be alot of fun for all involved, in my lifestyle it is not overly uncommon either, but as abit of a recluse and someone who craves intense intimacy over pure physical gratification, it is a fun thing to do sometimes, but I will be more then satisfied with one incredible lover next to me in the morning.

haha i wish. he would love it if i had women linning up. unfortunately that doesnt happen for some reason.

and as for what sweetsadist said, i do miss the intense intimacy at times...but its worth it i think. i guess that understanding comes between relationships cause i couldnt see myself doing it now. sometimes i feel it but its never enough for me to not want to be with my boyfriend.

I agree with xjermx

I started writing this posting here, but it began to turn into a VERY long spiel about my own experiences and ideas and I decided to put it in my journal instead. I suppose I've been redefining and exploring my sexual outlook a little lately and this touched off some introspection.

There was a cool bit at the end with some links though...


When I finished writing all this huge spiel I decided to go look around for some of the interesting resources that I knew were out there. Here's what I found right away.

The best FAQ of all of them IMHO is the FAQ for Alt.Polyamory

Here in Seattle there is the Wetspot SPCC (Sex Positive Community Center) which I have for some reason never been to yet.

Stuff specific to "swingers" (these sites look a little cheesy and have ads):
- Homepage for the Lifestyles Organization for PlayCouples (LSO),
- The "Ten Commandments of Swinging"
- A FAQ on Swinging (there are other links on the honey rivers main site)

For some kind-of amusing to read tips for "playing the field" we have this guide which has some good advice about being confident and outgoing in among some somewhat disturbing stuff that seems like aggressively acquiring and consuming people like commodities: The Fast Seduction 101 guide from alt.seduction.fast

Well... what a wonderful way to have spent my afternoon at work... I wonder if there was work I was supposed to be doing...?