OldManMurray on theology

Dug this up after reading this thread.


G.O.D. Employees To Start DVD Magazine, Burn In Hell

"Last week, as news of the closure of G.O.D. reached the public, pundits scrambled to live up to their name and squeeze one last pun out of the hard, dusty G.O.D. Games pun sponge. Quickly giving up, they settled on "G.O.D. is dead." We're not sure why they weren't more prepared for this inevitable outcome to the G.O.D. saga, though we suspect it may be because they were all too busy thinking up cutting-edge jokes about God's Word to ever actually read any of it. Hell, 2 Kings 2 verses 23 and 24 give you all the information you need to know:

To summarize: A mob of little kids teased Elijah - kind of a Cooter-level major recurring character in the Old Testament - and God immediately had forty-two of them murdered. And he didn't just regular kill them, he had them bear-mauled to death. The primary component of G.O.D.'s failed business plan was mocking God herself [I'm just kidding: himself -ed.], so anyone with any knowledge of history is only surprised that the consequences weren't both swifter and bloodier.

Between their employer's name, its offices in an old church, its highly subversive Last Supper promotional photos, its Bible satirizing press kits, and all the bravely confrontational E3 Jesus costumes that I'm sure scandalized the powerful "your Grandma" lobby, G.O.D. employees should thank whatever pan-denominational bullshit Unitarian false idol they won't admit to praying to when the airplane hits bad turbulence that most of them got off with just losing their shitty day jobs. If your preferred method of acting tough is to beat up the myths people create to give them comfort when everyone they love eventually drops dead, at least pick one whose motto isn't "turn the other cheek." Pussy. I've said it before, I'm saying it now, and Marvin tells me I'll say it again: If the G.O.D. people want to really tempt fate and show some truly ballsy impertinence for once, a good name for their new DVD magazine would be "Fuck You Islam".

http://www.oldmanmurray.com/news/329.html

[Edited on Nov 10, 2003 by Jeff_Fries]

...

Jesus, hasen't anyone heard of Old Man Murray?

Um... no.

I've been a fan of Old Man Murray for years. I dunno what else to say, except that I hope they come back soon.

I have, but the material is so old that quoting it is done through a mouthful of dust. If you're Eric or Chet, you need some new shit, boss. If you're not, then you need to read some new shit, boss.

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[Edited on Apr 05, 2006 by Jeff_Fries]

Dorks are hot. So is Christ. ♥