NEWS: Whaddya Mean You Won't Fuck Me?!? I'll Sue!

CULTURE: Whaddya Mean You Won't Fuck Me?!? I'll Sue!

Some men just ooze class.

Way to charm the ladies, Smoove B. No woman can possibly resist being sued for refusing to have sex with a man after his

It is not possible! No woman can resist the champagne! And the playing of the piano! Clearly this is one frigid, uptight, bitch.

Not to mention, the man's name is Rolf Eden. Have you ever heard a sexier name? Rolf. It just rolls off the tongue like . . . well, like . . . well, like a slang term for vomiting, actually. (My husband is German, I'm allowed to make this joke.) And Eden! I can just hear it now. "Baby, let me take you back to the days of Original Sin . . . let me show you my trouser snake . . . touch my forbidden fruit!" HAWT.

Lest you think I'm making these lines up, well, I am. Then again, the guy apparently actually said

Which is actually ickier than the trouser snake line. Quite an achievement, that.

But some anonymous young woman was not only unmoved by his obvious charms, she had to go and be all *mean* about it!

The women, they are so, so cruel. There is only one possible place to alleviate such harsh, unfeeling treatment--a court of law.

Then again, Eden admits

These young people today. No manners. No manners whatsoever.

Bitch_PhD realizes that this guy is just after free publicity, but finds herself unable to resist him.

if i thought that would fix my financial trouble i would have used it years ago...

senility loses again

Uck.

Thanks.

Did ya have to post a picture too? WTF is wrong with a girl who would even, I don't know, share a cup of coffee with this ma..perso... Rolf Eden?

YUCK.

What a creep

frickin happens to me every night.

This guy should team up with Darren Sherman.

Wow, I hope he wins! Then just think of all the women I'll be able to sue!

Maybe the final straw for him was when on the way out she told him that Rod Stewart had called and wants his look back.

At first glance I thought that was Michael Douglas....

He seems to be trying to ensure that he never has a date again. There goes his hopes for dying during sex.

Ok....this is a joke, right?

And maybe it's me, but at 77, shouldn't you be...I dunno...dating women at least in their 40s-50s? I have a feeling they'd be even harsher, though.

Just you wait til you get the papers i am having you served with.

Openly choose not to sleep with me, even after i made all those great LOLSG pictures for you. harumph!

I NEED A LAWYER, IMMEDIATELY!!!

i need to use that forbidden fruit line...that shit's hi-larious

yes. (77/2) +7= 45.5 thats grampa edens lower limit

he shouldve said "pretty please?"...seriously it works like a charm

reminds me of "The Continental"

oh, come on-- this is an obvious joking attempt to get an aging actor's name back in the news. He's being funny and you guys are all too uptight

Agreed.

He should just find a girl who has a ball fetish........especially since his face and neck looks like a scrotum.

Ten points for the Smoove reference.

This man will never get a date again

part of me wants to high five the IDEA that someone had the balls to sue a woman for this... then i come to my senses, and the other part wants to put my head in a plastic bag.

Argh. Thats a few minutes of my life that I will never get back.

Hahaha! Laws against Discrimination...I'll admit, I didn't see that one coming.