NEWS: The Nintendo Wii?

GEEK: The Nintendo Wii?

Nintendo has just revealed that the new name for their system isn't the Revolution, but the... the "Wii." Why such a fruity name? Nintendo explains:

There are other, even fruitier reasons on the Nintendo site. However, crafty dorks have been up to their craftiness, and they've discovered that the Nintendo Wii hasn't been trademarked. Which could mean this is all a trick and we can expect another name change. I'm hoping for the "Nintendo FARRRRRT!"

Some say the lack of trademark is a time-delay in the trademark database and we're stuck with buying something called the "Wii." Whatever conspiracy theories are correct, we'll know more in a couple weeks at E3.

The Revolution, Wii, or whatever will feature an inventive controller that's half laser-pointer and half-game pad. I made a lot of new friends when I was on G4TV and said that since the N64, Nintendo has seemed more interested in making controllers for space tentacles rather than adult human hands. The GameCube controller looks like an infant toy that a robot threw up on, and this Revolution controller looks like a TV remote strapped to a breast pump. It was almost half a year ago, and I still get hate mail about it. Hate mail you'd send Hitler. I'm talking admissible-in-court type of KILL YOU mail.

Luckily for my well-being, Nintendo fanboys are the least deadly of all nature's pussies. They might be right, though; I could have been too harsh. Now that Nintendo has shown more for the system, the wand controller seems like fun. In a toy kind of way. We'll all love a couple mini games for 20 to 30 minutes, but I had a Power Glove. I know that light-sensor technology is iffy at best. No one is going to want to play 80 hours of Zelda with a flaky magic wand. That controller will be exploding against a wall somewhere around the 50th time I have to replay a level because it's not listening to me.

omg fruity is teh gay and is like bad and stuff! Don't be ghey, kids.

Get a sense of humor, dude.

I just thought somebody misspelled WWII.

wii sounds pretty good to me in a wierd way. I think nintendo are playing their cards right for sustainability. Low cost consoles = low overhead which means you are more likely to break even. It'll be the least popular of the three but will make some profits for nintendo.

I can't afford one at the present time.

Watching the video, it looks like Nintendo's more interested in the fact that they have a misspelled product with two "I"s rhan they are in showing what it does.

Here's the spoof

Here's a question...does anyone by something just for the Name anymore? Seriously who gives a crap what its called, it could be called Rosebud for all I care. If it has good games and its worth it I'll buy it. I don't care about the stupid name enough already.

parts of me hurt from laughter after reading this.

[Edited on Apr 29, 2006 6:49PM]

What really goes on in the Nintendo Boardrooms...

On a slightly more serious note, this is the first Nintendo system that I've even half considered buying since, well, the original nintendo. I don't particularly like the wand, but I like the direction that it takes us in.
While I don't think every game will benefit from it, at the very least first person shooters have been dying for a change in control styles. They haven't significantly updated the way that you control your character in an FPS style game since they've been invented. Didn't any of these game designers play duck hunt? It's a first person SHOOTER, give me a godamned gun already.

Well, nothing spreads over the internet faster than hyper-ventilating fanboys.

You'll be able to download and play most 16-bit era games, including games from Genesis and TG-16.


They can call the thing "Candycane Jesus Sunshine 8" for all I care, and put Miyamoto's big creepy baby head on the side with rainbows blasting forth from his winning smile...whatever. It'll have that back-catalogue of wonderful wonderful stuff and that's all I really care about.


There's always emulation...but I'd never do that.