Taking All Bets!!

All right, I’ll admit it - I’m a bettin’ man. I likes to gambles me monies aways. And wouldn’t you know it, the World Series is over (for the record, the Sox only won because I bet on St. Louis), the only hockey betting possible is on how many beachside margaritas Peter Forsberg can down before passing out, my online poker account is bone dry, etc. – and I need some action, baby! Hence, we’ll have to wager on something really exciting: The Presidential election. Be sure to place all bets before the window closes at 6:00AM EST.

• Orderly election, clear mandate, no accusations of fraud - 10,000 : 1


• Orderly election, orderly recount, Nader wins - 7,000 : 1


• Orderly election, orderly recount, Bush wins - 5,000 : 1


• Orderly election, orderly recount, Kerry wins - 4,000 : 1


• Disorderly election, obviously fraudulent recount, Kerry wins - 3,500 : 1


• Systemic, Bush-financed fraud exposed, Kerry wins - 2,000 : 1


• Ghost of JFK rises, names Jesus as running mate, wins by landslide - 1,000 : 1


• Wild allegations of fraud, Diebold machines electrocute 1 in 10 voters - 900 : 1


• Kerry wins, is instantly assassinated by "terrorists" - 750 : 1


• Highest voter turnout in history, still closest race ever - 500 : 1


• Bush wins 100.0% of all votes counted electronically - 333 : 1


• 75% of Republican electors vote for Kerry, hang selves in kitchen - 200 : 1


• Recount debacle claims dozens of lives in Ohio and Florida - 100 : 1


• California secedes from union, citing election results - 75 : 1


• French invade U.S. as "liberators", citing election results - 50 : 1


• Bush wins, Dems take Congress, Bush impeached before 2006 - 33 : 1


• Election swings on provisional ballots, Supreme Court decides anyway - 25 : 1


• Bush steals election, Dems are helpless, Bush runs unopposed in 2008 - 25 : 2


• Terrorism unseats Democracy, Bush stays in White House no matter what - 10 : 1


• Several major news outlets announce wrong winner - 7 : 1


• News outlet(s) later exposed as illegally influencing election - 11 : 2


• Disorderly election, obviously fraudulent recount, Bush wins - 3 : 1


• National polling proved useless (except as partisan tools) - 2 : 1


• World ends before all votes are counted - 7 : 6

So, any takers? :dons croupier visor:

I only gamble with my life.

Takin all bets! Clone, long lost sister, or robot?

I'll give you twenty bucks in house credit for it?

Huh?

Don't even tell me this is a gap in my Futurama knowledge, 'cause I don't think I could take that...

[Edited on Nov 02, 2004 by OnlyOblivion]

i got $1000 that says: jets 41, dolphins 14.

Deal. But only if you promise to set up shop in Monte Carlo, have an upscale dress code, and give me the presidential suite for a week.

I’ll fax you a list of what I expect to find in the mini bar, and who I demand be warming my bed.

Wait, did you say twenty bucks? Asshole. You'll find me in the arcade!

Episode 415: The Farnsworth Parabox.

Kerry in a landslide!

*weeps softly in corner, rocking back and forth*

NOOOOOO! It is! :runs off sobbing:

Gambling is for fools.

Well, if you're gonna dream, might as well dream big.

forsberg is playing in the swedish elite league this year.

Goddammit, I knew somebody was going to call me on my lack of hockey knowledge instead of laughing at my jokes.

Get those wagers in quickly, the window is about to close!

I don't bet with people who don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of Futurama.

instead of that, how about a round of russian roulette?


You go first.

And second, third, fourth, fifth, and (depending on the type of pistol) sixth time too.

thing is, unfortunatly Bush will probably win one way or another, I dunno if that is for the best or not, but that's just life.



btw: I'm american but I don't give a rats about politcs nor do I support either Kerry or Bush, I think they are both hyena's asses.

Kerry wins and is forced to resign out of embarrassment at his uncouth spouse.

Like somebody else's uncouth spouse?