Domestic Violence...did I do the right thing?

I have to get this off my chest, because I still feel ill.

I was out riding my bike after work today. It was a really beautiful day out. All of a sudden I heard some loud arguing. Then I saw this guy and a woman standing in the street. I hear him yell "Where's the fucking money!?" At that point he put both hands on her throat and started yelling. My first thought was to go over and kick the ever-living snot out of him...but I grabbed my cell phone and called 911. I gave them a description of the two of them, then kind of hung back incognito....following them until the cops arrived. Unfortunately, the guy got on a bus before the cops got there....but it all happened pretty quick. The cops were on the scene inside of 2 minutes.

My first instinct was anger. I wanted to tear this guy into pieces. Then almost immediately, my brain kicked in and I realized that I really shouldn't get involved, physically. I also didn't know if by me intervening, I'd be securing her a worse beating when they got home behind closed doors. I don't know this guy, I don't know if he's carrying a weapon...so I called it in to the police.

My stomach is still churning. They way he grabbed her throat, he had death in his eyes. Please someone tell me what I did was right.

you did right. i probably would have gotten physical, but you made a good decision.

I'm biased.

Jesus.

I've stepped into a few of these situations...most times I just ran screaming, "motherfucker!" at them, and the guy would run off. The other times, I just grabbed or pushed the guy off of the girl, and shouted that the cops were coming. And the guy would just get in his car and drive away.

But I was probably an idiot for taking it to that point (I blame comic books). I could have been stabbed, or shot, or just beat up or arrested for assault. And what's highly likely, (what happens more often than not) the girl could have turned on me and started attacking me for gettign involved. So I've been lucky thus far, and will try not to overstep my bounds if it were to ever happen again.

Anywyas, my point is; you did the right thing by calling the cops, I would say. And you followd them to make sure nothing (too) terrible happened. So I commend you. Hope my opinion helps.

[Edited on Sep 07, 2004 by plasticfangs]

you did the right thing. if you did get involed you never know hat could have happen. he could have shot/stabbed you. and he more then likely when have given her a worst beat down when they were alone. you called the cops and told them what you saw. thats alot more then must people would have done. hell you have more sense then me i would have beat him bloody but i have issues with guys hitting girls. my mom dated a guy that would beat her black and blue when i was a kid. so just the sight makes me see red.

again you did the right thing.

You don't know if he had a knife or a gun, and you can't do anything for anyone if you're dead.

You say you waited, so there's not much more you could have done.

Plenty of people would not have called the cops, and would have carried on.

So, yes, I think you did the right thing. I hope you're ok.

You definitely did the right thing...physical action could've resulted in serious violence and you/she might've gotten seriously injured. Or you might have been arrested...did the police question her? If they did he probably won't get away with it...especially you'll sign a statement and she backs it up.


[Edited on Sep 07, 2004 by Raoul_Duke]

You did the absolute right thing. Getting involved would have been bad (and you could have gotten hurt or killed). You are wise, dear Cash.

Hopefully, she told the police that fucker's name. He needs to live behind bars.

You did the right thing. The last guy I know who went with Plan B got 17 stitches in his arm and a girl who wouldn't testify against her boyfriend. Unless the victim in in imminent physical danger, thats nothing you want to be in the middle of.

Been in the same damn position and did the same damn thing so I'm glad people are being nice, not that it totally alleviates that yucky feeling in your tummy.

Not only did you do the right thing, it is more than most people probably would have done.

i've worked in a DV shelter for the past 3 years and most people involved in a scenario like this almost always overlook the backlash that thier actions can lead to later (i.e. the abused getting beaten even worse afterward).

it's hard, i know, not to physically intervene in the heat of the moment, but based on the cases i've seen, these types of interventions rarely lead to anything good in the long run.

you did the right thing.

You're a good man, Cash.

yes you did the the right thing. i think it says alot that you didn't let your emotions get the best of you. i certainly wouldn't of been able to think with a clear head in that situation. well done.

You're a better man than me Cash because I most likely would have jumped him and that would have been the wrong thing to do.

Congratulations on not only being a kind considerate person but also for being a level headed adult.

You did the right thing, brother.

you did good boytchik.

you're a good man.

In your situation you did the right thing. My most notable domestic violence situation was in a Burger King in South Carolina...

...I was in the bathroom at a urinal (OK, I'm explaining this 'cause of the holy shit factor) when this guy and his girlfriend SLAM through the doors, arms damn near on her throat, against the wall I was against.. HOLY SHIT, time to get outta the bathroom, eh? Well anyway the employees (the one smart one, the rest just looked confused and tried to take orders) called the police, seconds after they blasted BACK out of the bathroom.

He eventually tore out to go kill some guy, or so he said, and the police showed up.

Honestly I don't condone domestic violence, but half the shit she admitted doing to him, apparently his kids, and such on top of sleeping with two of his friends made me feel a little bad for the guy. Anybody with that big of a bitch as a girlfriend could snap and do something really stupid. Not to say he shouldn't get in a hell of a lot of trouble for physically choking, pushing, and even slapping her, but..

---

Finally said, you did the right thing, again. The only time I'd intervene is if there WAS a weapon involved or if he would have proceeded to actually choke her to death. I'm not going to stand there and let somebody snuff some innocent (or at lease, defenseless) person because of personal safety. That's different than kicking the shit out of somebody to make you feel better, by a long shot.

Cash, you did very well. I think you did the absolute right thing in calling the cops.

you absolutely did the right thing. good for you

Cash. You da man. As usual.

And DV is teh bad.

*gives Cash a high five* and the next time i see you, i'll get ya a beer for doing the right thing.