West Philadelphia Fire

Coyote said something about the animal shelters - I already posted links to the website covering the homeless and missing cats that is actively in control of this effort. I cannot fathom why anyone would say local animals shelters should help when the animal group responsible for saving the cats is public, has been on the news and links have been provided along with other businesses that have been tweeting support to this organization. I am genuinely confused as to how I posted numerous links to this website and someone is posting in direct reference that he cannot tell a "legitimate group from a scam." You can contact that website at any time yourself if you think it's a scam.

I also can't grasp why someone is complaining that because they can't personally find information of local churches/groups, that my commentary is supporting something openly questionable as a scam. If I was to be seriously providing links and information representing businesses that I had no legal right to speak of, I could probably face legal punishment.

One of the reasons Mariposa and I work so closely on immediate projects is bc I am one of many members who made a large financial donation to their equity. Should I have the AUDACITY to falsely represent myself as a financial associate of a non-profit, someone should take legal action against me.

Additionally when I speak of A Space which is my favorite non-profit where I have been a volunteer for over a year, my work is additionally appreciated due to an enormous financial donation that I made to the building. I not only have put in tireless hours of service with Books Through Bars but it was meaningful to me to make a very large financial donation because it is a non profit so intense to me that the space has repeatedly worked with me just to guide me towards getting into an official school program so that I can eventually become more physically involved with their work inside prisons which the building owner calls "the movement." Should I have the audacity or arrogance to represent myself on behalf of their building and projects, THEY could sue me I would think.

While I absolutely last night did calm down and very seriously considered what Shal posted pretty kindly in reference to me appearing beyond questionable and then another person saying it's like watching a meltdown, I actually spoke to police shortly after regarding these opinions which I can genuinely respect of concern. My own mother called local police from Florida where she lives to make them speak to me bc she had a serious concern that I was going to commit suicide. I wanted to get up to get my laptop and type Shal a personal email to actually thank her for her concern but knew I needed to sleep bc it is known right now by many people in my life and public authority that I have peaked beyond levels of physical stress and mental instability. I was in 3 different emergency rooms the other day up into 5am yesterday attempting what my own roommate who took me to the 3rd facility personally ASSUMED I would receive immediate attention for due to things no one can see on the internet - my physical health is so visibly questionable that it is obvious my mental health is being exhausted so severely that get this --- I have become "subject" of medical code violations because an intense range of medical professionals from paramedics to psychiatric social workers cannot grasp why within 3 medical facilities, I was discharged to the streets by each facility without documented physical treatment and worse concerning, no psychiatric counsel regarding an individual forcefully in the social security system due to the need of simple medication for diagnosed illnesses.

It should seem tangible to everyone reading that I am someone in clear distress who is exhausting all concepts of personal welfare bc I have now become involved in a community project which I'm through addressing my ties here to. Don't believe me, I am a scam artist, done. I accept that. I became concerned by Shal's commentary bc I'm alarmed by how my efforts are reading to neutral people. Neutral people mind you who do not need to know any of this & how I am still spending my time kindly explaining things without even cursing. It is indecent that I've been wasting my time to address my own actions for YOUR decency meanwhile in my private time every human or authority helping cope with my current legal situation is being respectful to the fact that I'm suffering more BECAUSE I can't get treatment. I want YOU to know, YES, I have been aggressively trying to speak to a damn doctor.

One of the reasons all associates from family to medical professionals are supporting my now public battle with my own health care providers is that due to the fact that I have been getting help from everyone on my personal crisis down to police - how is someone as mentally ill as I am is while not being arrested or admitted (meaning people are identifying that I am in control with no need for assistance of control by law or medical people) AND that what this means is as someone who is able to cognitively advocate for my rights, I am being sent away bc it is obvious that I am very aware of how to control myself. It is very unusual for a person with an obvious mental disease to be aggressive in advocating their RIGHTS. In hospitals where funding is low enough and constantly abused by people attempting to gain legal drugs which are addictive, damaging and ritually sold on the streets, someone like me is visibly assumed for and disregarded as either drug seeking or possibly a drug dealer.

I am in no way seeking to make public my personal struggles. It should be fascinating to a board so concerned with the Arizona shooter that someone as unhinged as I am while sober is aggressively being denied mental health care within hospital facilities clearly trained to immediately identify people with many obvious mental illnesses which are legal matters of public safety.

To quit sensationalism as I can't offer immediate links to my hospital bracelets and paperwork that paramedics personally questioned even my roommate about when 911 was called to my house regarding the emergency room denials, beyond my physical distress, I informed registration at all 3 facilities that I also needed urgent psychiatric evaluation. Doctors wanted to clear my physical ailment first because I was bleeding possibly internally. It got to the point where I insisted to be transferred to psych to handle my mental crisis first because over 7 hours had passed and I was aware that I was becoming physically agitated. My mental clearance is simply for bi-polar disorder for which I am prescribed a low dose, non addictive anti-depressant. It is no secret that people like me can become intensely dangerous to self and others if they don't have whichever proper drug. People like me have a very high suicide rate. The clear difference between a schizophrenic in distress and a bi-polar in distress is schizos use "word salad" and are often forcefully shut down due to not making sense any longer. Bi-polars are very hard to treat while they are so common due to the fact that so many different medications can be prescribed which control both suicidal behavior and manic highs well documented on par with my people ("my people"! I love it) rising to levels of Jesus associations. I'm sure anyone knows or has read Wikipedia or has to personally know someone with this disorder. It's SO hard to treat bc once you just give said person the right dose, they are seemingly "normal" again.

My grandfather is a bi-polar who has received shock treatment over many years. While people question this very method, I and other people who know shock treatment patients have become grateful bc some people are not only incapable of traditional treatment but as my Pop is now 87 having had shock therapy as recently as 10 years ago, I am proud to say that SINCE the last shock of ten years, he has never once again since mentioned his insistence that he is going to die so please let him die or have him killed. It is a fiasco when a grown man only with bi-polar disorder drives everyone else insane with repeated pleas to die or be killed and then something as bizarre as shock treatment made it stop. There was an actual family concern to once bring me from Philly to NYC only to be hospitalized under my Pop's doctor's care to closely monitor a family illness where my family seriously believes I am being mishandled by other doctors who have no courtesy to not only the mentally ill but the very people being insensitive to it.

At this moment in life and time, I have been legally and personally advised to seriously "stay calm" and in close physical contact & phone awareness with people ranging from family and friends who all work within health systems handling physical emergencies and psychiatric illness. A buddy who is a psych social worker begged me last night to not only never go back to a health facility without a personal escort acting as my counsel but to immediately have ready his full name, credentials, associated work within hospitals by name and the fact that he has known me for 16 years. It is a terrible situation where a friend has to do this because he knows exactly how mentally ill people are mishandled inside facilities. It should be an outrage to the common moron that in the very light of what is being forced into media opinion of this Arizona "situation" that someone like me is being seriously tossed from public health facilities. My own grandmother who has been a psych nurse longer than I was conceived is in her 80's and very disturbed that this is happening to me. She has offered from her experience that I am being additionally perceived as someone possibly abusing a crisis center (emergency room or psych dept of an emergency room) when it is clear by my careful use of indisputable awareness of personal advocacy that I am aware enough to know I have to WAIT until I personally see a trained psychiatrist just to even clear that I am entitled to 5 cents worth of the things I am insisting upon which involve medication dispense. In English, I am "smart enough to know I can wait." Yet she has also stated along with personal friends who are city paramedics that this makes it all the more an affront that I am being sent back on the street without documentation of being even addressed by a psychiatrist.

When I personally requested to registration after 4 hours in the second facility to have psych called to see me or transfer me to their unit, I was then addressed first by security who was called immediately. From hospital security inside what is regarded as the "greatest medical hospital in Philadelphia" (please don't ask for their name, it can be Googled but I'm not going to slander), I was then directed to a supervisor who did not identify which department he actually supervises. From there a police officer was called to "deal" with me. All of this took place in an emergency room waiting area which is obviously monitored by not only security cameras but actual police offers guarding the entrance just to check bags down to metal detectors. Clearly many officers present were there trained to provide many different levels of public safety if there is an airport style security entrance where cops even complimented a Christmas ornament they viewed in my bag's x-ray.

If I'm sounding creepy now it's because I've been given legal counsel by authorities who are all insisting I have to wait to even return to any hospital because medical code violations were trampled in a very disturbing public effort within a facility legally having me registered as a patient for medical care which the state is legally made to pay for.

In short what took place under video monitors and in front of an entire emergency room full of patients and professionals is a matter I am being forced to explore legally on behalf of city servants who are outraged that I was actually personally trampled quite possibly and obviously because I was alone and identified myself as someone in need of a doctor legally allowed to provide me with not only "drugs" but possible sedation. The fact that a code order of calls to security, supervisor and then a random, outside cop (when myriad police were already there) called to the scene even took place should be cause for alarm of even a pet rock.

The only reason I was able to personally contain myself while then being aggressively verbally threatened, physically intimidated and having my possessions viciously snatched from my own hands by a clearly out of control police officer is entirely ONLY because I was personally raised by a police officer who trained me legally and professionally as a cop on how to deal with officers of law just to be aware of not only my rights but of the duty of police officers called to navigate distress of an individual who no one knows if they are either on drugs or just mentally ill. I was advised legally by this cop father when I was only a teenager - prior to having any legal experience of dealing with cops or even medical facilities.

Again, sorry. My perspectives are not to service myself personally. The fact that someone "like me" has never even been handcuffed for arrest while repeatedly over the years being in police cars personally driven around for safety and service to protect should be seen as an asset to the police force. The only time a radical activist like myself has even been disrespected by an officer was when I was beaten by a riot cop in 1996. I was one of many people involved in a mass riot in NYC which made front page headlines of the single word "SIEGE." I entirely respect that a riot cop struck me across the chest with his stick. He ordered me to stay back from police business and I kindly took it. If you need to know I got struck bc the cop felt threatened when I extended my open, unarmed hand to say he didn't have to do "that" as he was beating someone with his stick against a car. It was a riot with riot cops running the streets. No problem, I'm one of a mass that caused these folks to be called.

I personally still bear an intense need to respect officers of law because they are legally entitled to shoot you. I'm a bizarre person within activist circles that openly reject the police system on principle. I personally don't feel like having a round fired at me because one round is legally granted many bullets at a time. When accidents occur like the ones to Amadeu Diallo or Sean Bell, very unfortunately to civilization? Police are entitled to fire a round if they deem a personal or public threat to safety.

Someone exactly like me is now being legally advised for personal protection because people like me scare the SHIT out of police officers who simply don't give a fuck. I'm sure people remember Rodney King. Some cops do not care. There are other cops who have painstaking concern to pick up people who are in obvious distress because they are trained for public safety. Some have training personally for "sensitivity", whatever that means. At any moment someone like me could very well have a gun pointed at me if I don't listen to an officer's order of protocol. This has never happened and I almost thank God. It does happen all the time to people holding candy bars which people think might be guns and to people who have brain damage or are on drugs and cannot speak for any facet of real comprehension.

Everyone who knows me personally is ordering me to stay home and respect my body until Monday when I can return to a public facility for the treatment which I was denied and is documented in 3 facilities the state is being legally made to pay for. The officer who spoke to me kindly due to my mother's call this morning helpfully reminded me that Monday is a national holiday and I should consider waiting until Tuesday even. Everyone normal, and not random "just GTFO" people who have no idea the extent of how scary this all is - is working to stabilize me as support systems bc no one wants me to return to another facility without legal representation just to insure that this time, I am immediately directed to the hospital which has me on file as a fucking patient under state law because in Philly there are facilities legally responsible to provide case workers to assholes like me who are in need of mental care and additionally the homeless. If you assholes don't know that I am speaking living in a state that gives public funding to mental health centers legally bound to take the homeless and mentally ill then you should use Google. There are many facilities like this in PA which you should thank God for as they keep sick people healthy and dignified.

Police and paramedics have offered to escort me directly back to the 3 hospitals which rejected me just to have me sent straight to psych over the medical department that wanted to find out why I was bleeding. Legally according to the public facility where I am a patient kindly known as cooperative even through issues of mild agoraphobia which I personally called in distress yesterday, I have to follow their orders. When the crisis desk addressed me, they were clear to explain that my health center was closed for the weekend and there was no point to have me enter their connected hospital as an emergency patient since there is no reason to have me admitted cuz there are no psychiatrists on staff to dispense medication. This is common knowledge in hospitals. People get days off. No need to make this setting worse when the out patient center has everything on file and can just order my case worker to pull records.

The more I say this, I am kind of amused that I clearly recall asking the officer who threatened me with vicious random authority not courteous to a patient within an emergency setting to just take me to the hospital where I am an out patient. She actually offered to drive me there and I said I'm actually a patient, they have me along a great file. At this point all of this shit could've been avoided. I don't know why the officer got so crazy. There was an incident where she kept taking my possessions and threatening to take me "in" & then take me "down" because I was "messing with the wrong bitch." I can chillax and be calm that I know orders of certain business on this shit. I identified that I was a patient at a well known facility caring for mentally ill and homeless people. For some reason after first offering to drive me there, her level of ignorance extended to then calling for back up to have other officers make me leave the hospital. At any point during this fiasco which terrified me to the extent that I cut my own head by accident in trying to recoil from physical intimidation by a disgraceful officer, ANY ONE present official could've called my hospital or have followed the law in calling for back up from the psychiatric department. I was a patient wearing tags having been registered for physical and mental distress. You do not call the police and then call for back up on one human being standing in an emergency room who is being intimidated simply for asking for a psychiatrist and asking kindly to be transferred because I'm scared for my own safety.

Having said this and knowing more about legal rights that any one human should never have the displeasure of needing to know, leave me alone. Finally to ya'll who know so much about why people need to be terrified by the Arizona "incident", within this very facility in front of all kinds of cops, security and patients waiting for service, when I was told by security that I had no authority to even ask them to find out if there was an available psychiatrist on staff to be called for transfer of my very body, I was then called a "psycho" by a random security guard who was probably trained less than a Dunkin Donuts clerk. For all to hear I screamed at the supervisor "This is why people go nuts in Arizona!" or something to that affect, I can't remember. Yo, if I was seriously sitting in an ER and a patient in distress who'd been there for hours yelled that while officers and officials stood there motionless, I would personally call 911 or walk out. I seriously said that and no one even asked me to calm down, shut up or by then grasp that someone should call psych. When I then begged the supervisor to call psych because I have a well documented history of this, he said "So you think that because you don't want to wait patiently like everyone else waiting here for treatment that you should be ahead of people?" I was like, no. I'm bleeding but now because it's really late I'm worried that no one will pick me up later and what if something happens to me like I have to be admitted? I'm freaking out and just need a doctor. It was 1am and I'd visited my first ER for documented bleeding at 1pm about. I felt a real need to connect with psych because everyone was asleep and all of my family felt blessed knowing I was sitting in an ER waiting for help.

Nothing like this should've happened and after I was offered a ride to my health care facility only for personal psych over the medical issue, I should've been given that human courtesy that all people should be entitled to. You educated individuals post on a forum about politics, police business, this "loner" dude and everything beyond anyone's range of personal conception. Had this officer found me like this on the street she might've had cause to either beat me senseless or shoot me. Instead I was terrorized and humiliated as I lay on the floor of an ER in front of security cops and supervisors crying out loud begging them to call my doctor, a friend to pick me up or even Friends Hospital which is an actual state mental hospital. I have never been to a mental hospital but because I learned this one is run by Quakers and is well known, I was seriously on the floor and on my phone screaming and begging my friends on the line who couldn't hear me and then crying and begging POLICE until my voice broke to be driven either to Friends or just call psych, can you just CALL psych and see if they can help me? I was begging on the floor for mercy and because I was making sense and within my range of personal advocacy, this pig fuck disgrace to the badge went nuts. THIS IS HOW THIS SHIT HAPPENS. One person goes on a power trip and takes everyone else down. How could someone seriously be crying on their knees in an ER requesting to be just taken to a damn local mental hospital or call my friends, please help me I need help and then there is an entire emergency room of distressed people watching? Can you imagine THEIR terror? I've seen it before, I've been in these places. Mentally ill or questionable people are ritually terrified by assholes and unfortunately remembered more than kind souls who love to help their very craziness.

Later on when I was trying to file incident at the station about this bitch, the supervisor who was called to return my cell phone and charger from the pig AND made to exit the hospital by telling me "I don't care where you are bleeding from so stop saying that." when he asked why I was even seeking medical treatment to begin with. That's when I just walked home across many city blocks still limping and crying hysterically in the streets as if I AM somehow crazy. Not one person even stopped to ask if I was ok.

Now does anyone want to ask why I was in a really bad mood yesterday and truly sorry for my posting actions which I wanted to apologize for but thought I should just sleep on it to rest my body since my mind is going out the shitter and I still have to wait until Tuesday so that my case worker and officials can navigate how the fuck all these codes got trampled?

I am truly sorry that justifying links or what not to any random website has provided displeasure. I now apologize for exploiting my own incident of terror as a cop threatened me so viciously while refusing me legal service as I lay on the floor screaming and crying until my voice cracked off. The reason I don't care to say anything else is because Jesus Christ, this is all on camera. This is going to be pulled and reviewed if necessary. I don't EVER want to see that video and weep for every human being who has known me for years and regards me as a kind person trying to get medical care. The level of disrespect and horror that I experienced which you cannot imagine is now going to embarrass people. One of my Philly paramedic friends of over 15 years, familiar with my very case listened to only 2 texts about SOME of what happened and started flying off the handle with scary but calm references to code and the buildings who deal with this all the time.

So thanks. I am SORRY that my thoughts were so disorganized yesterday. I now make the greatest sense in the world to everyone in my circles all fighting for civil rights issues ESPECIALLY for people pissed on as mentally ill within prison systems. You have NO idea what goes on these places and you should thank God for that mercy. I was treated worse once in a drug facility at age 14 when my mental health was clear and I'd been placed there for entirely other reasons. There are reasons I personally collect disability and get counseled by "important" people like paramedics and whomever else bc if this is how calm people expressing civil rights act, I feel grief for the shizos, drunks, and blacks who all go in into mental health places and jails and what not.

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So to be finally clear if it makes any sense as I have no links to my current fiasco, I have been aggressively trying to just get help that I am entitled to for public safety. I hope you can see a glimpse of how yet ANOTHER man is being called a "LONER" when the same disrespecting scapegoat term was thrown to the Virgina Tech and then the Columbine massacre shooters before, a very long time ago. If this is how a small female is treated inside facilities for help, you can understand better why grown men start picking up guns when 5,000 sources then turn around to say they saw this coming and did NOTHING but seal these deals again with the term "LONER." This is an AFFRONT to good psychiatric doctors and decent cops who see people like this all the time and can identify their diagnosis immediately. Humans are not born into learned violent psychosis. We become this way because common strangers on the street look away when people of all ages both young and elderly walk the streets covered in urine or talking to themselves.

When I was first sent to a reform style school in the early 90's to live until I was an adult, I was clearly identified then by people with no training as a "loner." One of my cousins who chooses to live at home saving his money while working an awesome union job at almost age 30 is also described as a "loner" because he has no girlfriend. He is not ill or threatening. When the media shits upon exploited images of children falling out of school windows jumping to safety with for example, a shot at arm nearly separated from his body like we watched during Columbine, to have these frightening individuals labeled as "loner" simply because they are then associated by press with ties to subculture beyond public understanding, you should be scared. No one learns anything even after all those body counts in Colorado and Virgina.

This is what ultimately pissed me off about the tone of this forum. You speak with respect to media which I have lived through during a time when even a punk, skinhead or metalhead was once viewed as a clear threat to police and for media to be advised of based on very appearance. Some people STILL have no idea that it is not funny to call a "shaved head person" a skinhead or jokingly a "Nazi skinhead." Some people still do not even know what SHARPS are. When police are called to intercept a distress call and ask for a description of said individual they are obligated to use public knowledge of images of all past and present media of similarly dangerous looking people.

The fact that my whole family is content with everything I have described within those 3 hospitals having personally sent me away during an era when people associated with "heavy metal music" (at the time that I was sent away, this was my then subculture) and then "punk" (I used to shave my head) are being threatened based on ill knowledge of truly frightening looking individuals should satisfy my "rage" to anyone. My every supporting friend and relative openly says my disregard by officials as a possible drug pusher or dealer is only compounded by the fact that I was wearing a puffy Baby Phat jacket exposing possibly scary neck tattoos who then undressed for triage to expose more tattoos and worse but hilariously yet, a t shirt for the band Dropdead. The front said DROPDEAD in huge letters with an image of a caged ferret and the back covered in media addressing a call for violent animal liberation. However? When a call gets made to police, they ask for a description. I was identified easily as a white person wearing a black puffy jacket with gang style tattoos across her neck. This is the same description of countless normal black women and men across Philadelphia where black people in general are the majority and not for nothing, not violent or sick at all.

Be terrified and feel threatened when media misrepresents people to incite fright which causes officers carrying guns to call for back up. There is Evil in this world and there is a difference between that and a forced media representation of terms like "loner."

Peace, seriously. I'm sorry I did and said anything here, I normally do not post here. Before the internet was available to the fancy "computers" some schools were lucky to get funding for, people like me were being literally terrorized for horrible things. It is not funny when a band like Judas Priest goes to court because they "caused" people to blow their brains out. There was a time when sale items at a place like Hot Topic did not exist and were hand made, looking very crude and violent to people. The mainstream has changed but media prejudice regarding people across many boards of perfectly respectful subculture has not.

It means THIS much to me to waste an entire day spent composing my thoughts carefully. Times have changed, not enough and it causes people from officials and civilians to use violence. I lived through terror for simply liking Metallica, then liking punk and shaving my head. I was always "straight edge" during these times. Beautiful cultures have been destroyed and shit upon by a mainstream market. Tattoo culture has not only returned but is better represented by swarms of black hip hop artists. Please do not assume I am better because I am older - I was one of many and it's interesting because CNN just ran a story on the West Memphis 3 apparently getting talks of an actual new trial. Please be careful because people like me and whomever else still cause even police officers to call for back up. It ruins people's lives, families and futures.