NEWS: Where Is The Birth Certificate!?! Why Am I Stupid!?!

POLITICS: Where Is The Birth Certificate!?! Why Am I Stupid!?!

Sometimes American’s stupidity really amazes me. When we jump into Lake Idiot, we go really deep and get really wet. The most glaring example today is the Birther movement. Birthers believe President Obama was not born in this country and, therefore, should not be president. They believe he has a counterfeit birth certificate and he is going to kill us all. Or something like that. Obviously, the fact that he is black has nothing to do with it.

These people also went nuts while Bill Clinton was president when they called him a rapist and a murderer and every other horrible label they could come up with. Now, it’s Obama’s time. But, holy shit, could you latch onto a dumber conspiracy theory? They are very, very serious about it and are now making life difficult for the Republican representatives because nothing is being done about this terrible miscarriage of justice. Just check out how poor Representative Mike Castle (R-Del.) fared at a recent town hall meeting a couple of weeks ago.



They just stood up and recited the pledge of allegiance. It’s astounding how ridiculous they are. You could not even parody them, as they have hit the limits of mocking. They are living, breathing satire.

But it’s not like all Republicans are shying away from the dumbest movement ever. Some are jumping right on board.

Nice work. You guys don't at all seem crazy. But how can they not be? Rush Limbaugh has taken up the cause and is now making comments on his daily tard fest.



And now Lou Dobbs has taken up the cause of the biggest idiots in America.



Mind-boggling. And even more so because Obama is not a Mexican. I guess Lou is branching out. This kind of coverage is not helping the situation. It makes the Birthers think they are winning - but make no mistake about it, they are not winning - except in the clowns of the year competition.

The Birthers have been trying to prove Obama is not an American citizen in court ever since Obama declared his candidacy. And each and every time, the courts slap them down on the grounds that they are cartoonishly insane. Birthers put the full court press on electors last year, in a final attempt to stop the Muslim spy from becoming president. Sadly, they failed.

This shockingly stupid movement began during the primaries, when rumors circulated on blogs and low rated right wing radio that Obama’s middle name was Muhammad (Because Hussein wasn’t scary enough). That naturally transitioned into questioning his birth certificate and we were off and running. Facts are totally unnecessary and will be dismissed no matter what.

The Obama campaign actually released a copy of his birth certificate but it was deemed a fake by experts who sit in their homes tapping away on their keyboards. The Birthers said the certificate didn’t have a raised seal or a signature, even though it has a raised seal and a signature. Easy mistake to make. Although, they were inspecting a digital version online and I don't know if you know this but NOTHING has a raised seal online. Weird and kind of spooky, isn't it? The certificate “claimed” that Obama was born in Honolulu at 7:24 p.m. on Aug. 4, 1961.

And there was a birth announcement in the local paper, which was obviously a lie put there by God to try to test people’s faith, just like he did with dinosaur bones. The Birthers believe the Obama family could have phoned the announcement in from Kenya – where he was really born! See, the family obviously knew that they would eventually move to Hawaii and raise this young black child named Barack Hussein Obama to be president. That's why they grabbed a easy to reach phone in their hut in Kenya and called Hawaii. It was the perfect plan! And totally not true!

Liar! You have so much to gain by hiding the truth! And Obama would have Arab terrorists kill you!

Of course, now that Pat Boone has taken up the cause, it’s become serious business. When Pat’s in the game, you’ve got to watch your ass, hence the term, “You’ve been Booned.”

Not until you show proof of talent.

The reason I decided to write this article is because I saw one of their billboards on the I-5 last weekend.



They are throwing this nonsense up all over the country. The sad thing is this is the kind of shit that led to the creation of militias and all the right wing hate groups when Clinton was in office. All it takes is one lunatic, who is driven insane by the fact that our president is illegitimate, to do some serious damage. The right wing fringe is seriously going over the edge and we need to keep an eye on them.

But at the same time, we should be laughing at them every chance we get. Because they are completely insane.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday and Friday for more from FearTheReaper You may also enjoy his blog, Stop All Monsters.

I know this may be hard for some people to grasp, but even if he were born in Kenya, his mother was a U.S. citizen, making him a citizen just by coming from her womb.

Dear Conspiracy Theorists,
We've elected a black man with a Muslim name president of the United States of America - deal with it. I realize that racism isn't a dead issue in the U.S., but at least try not to be so obvious about it. G.W. Bush spent 8 years making Americans look like the dumbest animals the face of the earth to the rest of with world, please stop continuing that pattern.

P.S. - the Pentagon was not blown up from the inside and the jews did not skip work at the twin towers on 9/11.

This -IS- stupid. however, in all honesty...why doesn't he just come out and say where he was born or show it? if he doesn't want to show it then have it publicly confirmed that he could legally run..instead of hiding it behind "it's none of our business."

but yah these people need to take a flying leap.

Um, third from top of the list on Googlesearch "Barack Obama Birth Certificate" is this article containing an enlargeable copy of Barack Obama's birth certificate.

I'm not sure how much less he can hide behind anything, especially when the top two are an article detailing Rush Limbaugh's saying it doesn't exist, and a link that doesn't work.

Edit: To be honest though, I don't think this is really about stupidity so much as it's about a really circuitous route to coherence in a lot of these people's worldview. Foolish or not, a lot of conservatives hew, or hewed to the belief that one does not criticize the president, especially in wartime. And yet they find themselves doing precisely that. Squaring the circles requires either giving up criticizing the President, which they are loathe to do, admit that us liberals had a point about patriotic dissent, which they are loathe to do, or find some means of saying that Barack Obama is not the President. Voila.

Ok you dont know what your talking about to become president you need to have been born in this country not have your mom born in this country.Yeah i am sure people don't want a black muslim president but that isnt the issue here.The is issue is he has never proved that he was born in this country.I dont see what the big deal is if you asked me to show you that i am a us born citizen I will show you proof but for some reason obama wont do that and there is something strange about that!

thanks for this article Mr. Fear

Affliction, click the links, please.

yea americans are pissed off , but they have been distracted for so long with trinkets and baubles .Hollywood fantasy and big media illusions.

They are slowly starting to realize they have been sold down the river the last 30 yrs by the people in power.

Natural born citizen of the U.S.

here

First of all, I like Obama, I voted for him. But I do remember this issue coming up early in the campaign. The U.S. constitution requires that the president be "natural born". There is no more important document in our country.
It's not cartoonish or insane. If the same situation had applied to Bush I am sure it would have been a huge issue.
McCain was not " natural born " either. The senate passed a special resolution exempting him from that rule.He was born in Panama where his father was stationed as U.S Naval officer.
The lawsuit contends that Obamas mother was visiting his fathers family in Kenya, was not allowed to fly home because of being too close to giving birth. His paternal grandmother claims that she was present when he was born in Kenya. The lawsuit points out that his mother was too young to automatically confer citizenship according to U.S law at that time. They claim that she registered his birth after flying with him back to Hawaii.
The people pushing this issue also made a big deal out of his school records in Indonesia claiming that he was an Indonesian citizen.
Does it matter? Well apparently to that Army reserve major trying to avoid overseas service it does. We all like President Obama now, but if he becomes unpopular will this issue get bigger? The supreme court chose not to look at it.
Would it really have been so difficult for the state of Hawaii to show his birth certificate to a judge?
Again, I like Obama, but the U.S. Constitution is pretty important to alot of people.
I wish this issue would just go away. But I don't think it will.

What part of this did you not understand?

That would be PROOF! The state of Hawaii says they have the original birth certificate. Or are you waiting for it to be brought out and passed around, hand to hand, to each and every dumbfuck conspiracy theorist?

It's not an issue. It is a buncy of whiny right wing fuckheads who are sore losers. Anyone with a scrap of intelligence realizes that he was born in Hawaii. How do we know? Because the fucking Hawaiian government has the records that say so. Why aren't they being shown? Because they can only be released to the person in question.

How the fuck are people not getting this?

I would like to add a further question to the fucktards who believe this "He was born in Kenya" shit.

Where would two college students, one who is an exchange student and the other who is estranged from her family, get enough extra money that they wouldn't want to save to, oh, I dunno, TAKE CARE OF THE BABY, to purchase round-trip airline tickets halfway around the world? Further, why would someone, in the late stages of her pregnancy, choose to fly to an area with minimal medical care, where she probably doesn't speak the language, and where there is a good chance she would be stuck having the baby?

Does any of that make sense? Or are these idiots just blind to reality?

Yeah, those idiots are blind to reality. They prefer to go back to the days of W being Cheney's bitch.

The fact that this is still an issue disturbs me to no end.

-TM

I bet if you asked half these idiots for their birth certificate, they wouldn't know what the hell it was.

Wait, wasn't this issue cleared up during his campaign?

In any event, why hasn't anyone from his camp pointed out what MyDogFarted did about being born to a U.S. citizen?

...

This was always hilarious to me, like all the lawyers surrounding Obama wouldn't have checked this out and validated it so that there would be no problems.

Idiocy at it's best.

I was going to say that! Birth certificate be damned, dude's mom is from Kansas. Case closed!

No, YOU don't know what you're talking about. He HAS proven it but for some reason, folks just will not accept the facts that have been provided. You know what they say about horses being led to water? Good lord, some people make me very tired.

Wow, it looks like we have a few "Birthers" tarding it up here in the comments too! Hi guys, how are you? What's it like being the mental equivalent of mayonnaise?

The Birthers have accomplished the seemingly impossible: making 9/11 "Truthers" look sane and grounded in reality.
I assume Hawaii Health Department director Chiyome Fukino was appointed by Hawaii's Republican governor, Linda Lingle, or is this strictly a civil service position? I heard once that Lingle herself had seen the document and pronounced it authentic, but never could verify that.
I sometimes think Obama should ask that his birth certificate be made public just to make the issue go away, but then I wonder if it would make a difference.

this has entered the realm of Moon Hoaxers: no matter how much evidence to the contrary, nothing will sway them from their delusion.

The President must be born on American soil. Its not enough to just be a citizen. That is why the Governator can never be President, and that is the Birther argument.

Honestly, I just think these redneck fucks are pissed that theres a black man in the White House, with a Muslim name. Dont get it wrong; I voted for him, but I fucking hate him, for all the same reasons I hated W. Shit hasnt changed all that mich.