Mormons 'buying up Russian souls.'

Hilarious.

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1091318,00.html

Dude! I read somewhere that if Mormon's live their lives according to the teachings and all that jazz, they get their own damn planet in the afterlife!
How cool would that be....
Just to start fuckin with things like raining on parades and flashfires in football stadiums...
Heh, the diabolical possibilities are endless.
Almost makes me want to become a Mormon and end life as I know it...
Almost.

The Mormons have been baptizing the souls of the dead in the USA for a long time. I think it's nice that they want to save me from hell even if I don't believe it exsists.
They also are very interested in Geneoligy. A relative of my Boyfriend died and the Mormons showed up with a list of relatives that never knew him, for the inheritance. They get a cut of the inheritance for a finders fee.

FINDERS FEE? Holy hell YES. The father of a friend is still somehow on their creepy mailing list, and they show up every once in a while to convince him to come back. And, he's like, FUCK YOU, I'm a PROTESTANT.

Jeez, not even dying gets those guys off your backs
I wonder what their post-mortem conversion rate is or if they still get a metaphorical door slammed in their faces and told to "stick that book of mormon so far up their righteous asses that they choke, the soul-soliciting pig-fuckers"
At least I don't have a soul for them to try and convert once I'm too dead to know any better
Spike (with a little help from Trey Parker)

Dead Souls, anyone?

creepy mormon bastards.

creepy double posting bastards.

[Edited on Nov 25, 2003 by Sloane]

Hey, did anyone see that South Park episode last week where they made fun of the founding stories of Mormonism? IT was great.

yeah i saw it...i was laughing the whole way through!

I just found out what the Mormons believe not that long ago. That is a trippy religion...interesting, though.

On second thought, making fun of Mormons is somewhere between shooting fish in a barrel and publicly ridiculing monks who have taken a vow of silence. I wouldn't characterize it as ballsy impertinance, in case anyone is thinking of doing that.
When was the last time you heard a Mormon defend Mormonism? Besides the bike kids on their trip?

my friends family is mormon. now she is married and has a happy mormon family. we've always clashed with our beliefs. i have always gone w/ easten and kabbalahistic beliefs. mormon belief on the pre existence is very trippy. they also believe in a heavenly mother. their temples are based on masonic traditions but don't tell a mormon that!! joseph smith was an avid mason. i don't go w/ thier belief on woman's issues. i stand firm w/ the jewish belief that the woman is the head of the household and with what she says goes. i know alot about mormonism. if you guys have any questions let me know.

Recently, I was meeting friends in Salt Lake City on our way skiing at Snowbird. My flight arrived first, leaving me with a couple of hours to kill. I decided to check out Mormon Square and see the Tabernacle.
Well, I hadn't been there for 30 seconds before I was approached by a series of young girls ( in pairs ) who encouraged me to take " the tour ". So I did.
They asked me questions along the way: Was I by myself? What was my faith? Why was I taking the tour? I guess I had all the right answers: Yes; Protestant as a child, but not especially religious now; and generally interested in all religions.

From that point on they were on me like white on rice. I guess i fit the profile of an ideal candidate to be saved. Everyone was very nice, but kind of creepy in an automaton kind of way.

Oh yeah, I was supposed to get a copy of the book of Mormon at the end of the tour. However, the neglected to mention that they would have it hand delivered to my home by local missionaries.

Gave them my friends name and address and headed for the slopes.

This is really kind of sweet, like a pair of retarded children trying to sell you chocolate.

More like a stripper asking for your name and proceeding to make conversation.

Where did I put my special underwear?

Speaking of Mormon things... I had a friend call up to try and get a copy of the Book of Mormon in Swahili.... apparently they don't carry that.
Bastards.
I wonder if they even have it in Russian for that matter.

Oregon has a Mormon U.S. Senator. Mormons have a strong stake in the copper mining and caffeine industries. Everytime one of 'em shows up at my door, I always ask about the strip mines in Utah and why its a sin to drink caffeine, but not to peddle it.

A lot of my friends were raised Mormons; are recovering from the Mormon cult. They do not give up easily, they keep harassing you if you leave. One friend has two brothers who are Mormon missionaries. Poor guy.

It was not long ago I considered them harmless occultists. They are, however, gaining power and have a strong stake of land in the Northwest, a strong stake in business, and a strong stake in politicians. Even their former enemies among the evangelical Christian Supremicists have come around to rubbing elbows with them.

I have a friensd who was into all sorts of religious studies. He saw a picture of the Temple in Utah, and was hooked. He said according to sacred gemeotry, if GOD was to step foot on earth, this is the place. He then converted to Mormonism. I told him it wouldn't work because he was bisexual and he could fool a bunch of Mormons, but if GOD reallty visits the Mormons he's gonna know he's faking it.

Did you know they wear special "garments" undernesth their clothes?

Read "One Nation Under Gods" by Richard Anabes if you want to know everything and anything about the cult of Mormonism. They've only become 'legitimized' over the past few decades. I consider myself a tolerant and open minded person ( at least on paper ) but something about Mormonism really raises my hackles.

How special?

yeah, i've got my own problems with the mormons. my husband was raised mormon and his family is very religious. he almost went on a mission. i've gone to church with them a bunch, and although they are the super nicest people and are very kind and generous and all that, i can't really get into it. i'm spiritual, but i'm not very religious. they start to worry and hunt you down if you miss church a couple of times. i have missionaries come to my door at least once a week to "check in" and "see if we need anything". what i really need is for them to leave me the fuck alone, but i can't just say mean shit like that to their faces. i've got nothing against them living their lives the way they do, i just don't buy into it. i can't adhere to all their freakin rules. and i can't tolerate their beliefs about what women should be doing. it's all a little too cultish for me.
although their temples are really awesome. i got to take a tour of one before it was dedicated. really really beautiful. and full of great symbolism.

I lived two years in a little town somewhere in rural Utah. Interesting underground scene I helped to build there-- pretty much all you had to do to join was to be able to stay out past midnight on a Saturday night (read: anyone who isn't LDS *is* the underground). I liked a lot of their ideas, their sense of community was outstanding. But it was also there that I decided that if they dislike Pagans so much, Pagans must be doing *something* right...

Their idea of prolestletizing to the spirits of their dead ancestors (which I heard about a lot) really made my skin crawl. If any descendants of mine convert to the LDS church and try to baptize me, I swear I'll come back from the dead to make them regret it!

[Edited on Nov 26, 2003 by DrKnievel]

Gogol would be proud.

Mormons are mostly weird because they are of contemporary origin and its easier to snigger at stuff that happened 200 years ago than 2000 years ago. if youre really break it down rationally, Mormonism isn't really any weirder than Judaism or Hinduism or Islam its just easier to trace the external influences. I mean really is magic underwear really weirder than sacred cannibalism or super duper holy candles?