George W. Bush: Resume

RESUME
George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for US Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the US surplus and effectively bankrupted the US Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in US history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the US stock market.
I am the first President in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-yearperiod.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a US President.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in US history.
I set the record for least number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest against me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in US history.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I am the first President in US history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of US citizens, and the world community.
I refused to allow inspector's access to US "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).
I am the all-time US and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in US history.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the US Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.
More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the US after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the US the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I changed the US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-president, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Please consider my experience when voting in 2004.

He's got my vote.

no offence but im glad im not american

[Edited on Nov 13, 2003 by BAKA]

bitch'n

I'll second that.

<----- Slav.

That should be copied and plastered everywhere in America!

Bush.....

Me......

The future.....

Where did you get that information and what are your sources?
I know a lot of what you said is true because I know it now as my own knowledge from research but we need to know where you got it so people who don't believe everything they hear can go and look it up.

This has been going around and can be found in various forms here and here. As far as I know it is correct. If you are interested in knowing more of this sort of info on bush i recommend the books by Molly Ivins.

RevMcg said "I am the first President in US history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. "
Please check all your facts before printing then or your whole argument comes into question. Most people have heard of the Mexican-American war, where President Polk invaded Mexico & we still have a big hunk of it to day.
Don't get me wrong I'm very anti Bush but if you start telling people obvious lies they won't believe anything you say. ( Unless your name is Bush of course)

i think you might want to take that resume in to rove for some spit polishing its lacking a certain panache...

capnvik is right. A lot of whats on that "resume" is grossly exaggerated, or simply wrong. I am 100% not a fan of GW but in all fairness, if you look up the things on that resume most of it is contrived Democrat propaghanda.

If I wasn't at work (and cared enough) I'd provide links to it all, as the first time I saw that thing a couple months back I did a lot of research being the political junky that I am.

your very welcome, Miss Lorelei...

stockula- ever stop to think that this site wouldn't be allowed to exist if the shrub had his way?

Lyons- you can find that information everywhere except the corporate news.

hmm...i think he was being...uh...what do they call that...oh! sarcastic

No, our dear stockula is an honest-to-god bush supporter. A bush supporter is someone who can read his resume, then say "he's got my vote!"
If that tells you anything about bush's supporters.

Seriously. All you bush supporters just need to go invest in a razor or something. Oh, and maybe a little lotion too... don't wanna chafe afterwards.

[Edited on Nov 13, 2003 by LucidApathy]

mindmeld, and Gore and his wife would have liked it any better????

bush = evil and i love that t-shirt http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a33

[Edited on Nov 13, 2003 by Sebast]

About the only thing I really, really hated about Gore...

But then, I'd be surprised if Gore's atty general would have spent thousands of dollars on curtains to put over Justice's breasts.

dirty titty...dirty dirty titty

RevMcG, pa-lease.

if i cared to waste my time, I could write up the same thing that would make Clinton, Gore, Dean, or Kerry look like twice the dimwitted jackass as that pathetic excuse for a joke makes Bush out to be.

I used to live in Kissimmee, lots of lower middle class, *cough* excuse me, democrats, in that neck of the woods.

Half of those ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: are bullshit and lies. Let me show a couple:

>I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
Does 9/11 mean anything? Afghanistan was hosting Al-Qaeda, what were we suppose to do? Let them go? Invading Afghanistan was the right thing to do.
Saddam Hessian killed 10,000 people a week because they MIGHT disagreed with him. Less total people have died since Saddam was kicked out than in 2 weeks of Saddam in power.

>I spent the US surplus and effectively bankrupted the US Treasury.
>I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in US history.
>I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
>I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the US stock market.
Okay, the world economy turned down. Presidents can't do much about the economy. They can raise taxes and they can lower them, and raising them is bad. 9/11 happened which did not do wonders for people confidence either. I think blaming this on Bush is showing how little one knows about the world.

>I am the first President in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
I don’t think this is true. I think several presidents have entered off with minor criminal records. Although, I think he is the first to have snorted cocaine!

>I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
Don’t I wish I could that “unlucky”

>After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.
Taking a month off (A working vacation, since the president never can go on real vacation) had nothing to with 9/11. It’s not like the whole government shutdown when Bush is in Crawford, Texas. Besides, if anyone one person is to blame it’s Clinton. He never stood up to terrorist and never took the chance of killing Bin Laden when he was a raising in the terror networks. We knew he was a bad guy, but we never went after him. Somalia gave the terrorists the idea that if they struck us, we would retreat and not fight back. We should have showed force and went into Somalia and kicked ass. Get it through the bad guys head, don’t piss us off or you will die.

>In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
>I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
Again, it’s the economy. He had nothing to do with that and the downslide started with Clinton was in office. Markets go up, then they go down and it sucks to be president when they go down.

>I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history.
That has everything to do with supply, demand and OPEC. Again, blaming this on the president is showing how little one knows about the world.

>I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.

I think this was done back in the early 90’s. The whole “Make wounded soldiers pay for their food in the hospital” was a major oversight in a military funding bill a long time ago. I saw a short bit about it on PBS, it’s amazing that this got through.

>I am the first President in US history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of US citizens, and the world community.

Fuck the UN. What 18 sanctions against Saddam? Lets make it 19 and he’ll do what we say! This war is about having balls; standing up to a thug who killed his own citizens because he does not like their tribe or sect. At least we knocked this fucker out of office. What are you a Saddam loyalist?

>My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the US Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

How do private jets have anything to do with SCOTUS? It’s independent and you can’t get rid of them.

>I garnered the most sympathy for the US after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the US the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

We are leading, France and Germany can go on and do more business with butchers if they want. This comment is not even valid for another 20 years after everything comes out. Did you know that France supported Hussian because he owned France a lot of money? Yep, those Frogs were willing to let people get butchered so they could get their money back. How enlightened of them.

>I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

Again, who cares what the Europeans think. They can vote in their own elections, not ours.

>I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.

Iraq and Afghanistan are fucking HUGE! It’s going to take years to find them. There are a lot of places to hide in both countries, especially when you have lots of money.



PS> Sorry, was in a rush, ignore spelling errors.

now if only i could ignore the logical ones. imma go get a sandwich and calm down.