NEWS: Viva La Libertardation!

POLITICS: Viva La Libertardation!

Ah, the Libertarians. Our little head in the clouds kids. They scurry about our country, totally unable to grasp the real world, screaming about "big government" and clamoring for a Utopian fantasy world where corporations are the good guy, riding in on a big white horse to save us from the heinous oppression of government. It is, of course, a childlike and amazingly unrealistic view of the world that enables Libertarians to always feel like they are right. Forever they can preach their madness and feel the righteousness of their words, because it will never happen. Ever. They may as well claim flying elephants can save our country, because both have the same chance of happening. That's why it's a win-win position for our Libertards. There is no chance of their form of government ever being implemented and revealed as unworkable.



Ron Paul is probably our country's most famous Libertard. He is, of course, a fucking moron. His body of work and lack of understanding of economics has been widely covered on the newswire and I have no interest in rehashing it. He's a tool; the discussion is over. I was forced to write about him today because others now seek his crown.



Bob Barr wants to pick up the Paul baton and run with it, all the way to failure. The Barrtard is no fool; he knows political opportunity when he sees it. In this case, legions of Ron Paul lemmings are meandering about with no one to vote for in the presidential election. It's very similar to when the Grateful Dead finally perished and Phish picked up the ball. Suddenly, burn out, jobless nomads had a reason to live again. The Paul follower's situation is like that, but somehow more annoying.



The Barrtard is expected to announce his candidacy for the Libertarian Party ticket on Saturday, when he is scheduled to be the keynote speaker at the Heartland Libertarian Conference in Kansas City, Missouri. Bob's big claim to fame was back in the '90s, when he led the charge to have Clinton impeached. If there is one thing that screams Libertarian, it's impeaching a president for getting a blowjob. And Bobby has no problem with his blatant political opportunism.

And Ron Paul is on board and will apparently endorse Bobby. Thank God! The great leader gives his blessing! But, he had to endorse somebody and there was no way he was going to give the nod to John "I don't know what al Qaeda is" McCain.

Yet, Bob Barr, now that's a different story. What's not to cheer? After Republican Bob lost his congressional seat in 2002, he switched to the Libertard Party and joined the ACLU. When he left office, Bobby had a 98% rating by the American Conservative Union and he has spent his life fighting the good Libertarian fight. One great example is when he authored an amendment in 1998 to block Washington DC from implementing a medical marijuana initiative. But, now he's for medical marijuana. Yay! Change! And Bob is against gay marriage, once sponsoring the Defense of Marriage Act, which blocks any federal recognition of gay couples married by states. Wee, freedom! He is also a strong opponent of abortion, even though he supported his wife's decision to get an abortion. I'm not sure which wife, he's on his third.



But never mind all that stuff, he's against the war!

Forget about everything else, he's a fucking hero! Nobody in this presidential race is saying anything close to that, except the Democrats.



If Bob is the Libertard candidate, it will be a serious problem for McCain. Barr is a God to quite a few conservatives. He is known to fight strongly for his beliefs and has experience in Congress taking on the Clintons. Many Republicans are upset McCain is the nominee. They believe he is not conservative enough. Barr could easily siphon off enough votes from important swing states, like Ohio, Florida, Nevada and New Mexico. Basically, the Barrtard entering the race will mean an Obama presidency.



But I don't want to count my chickens before they are murdered, defeathered and have their innards removed. There is another dark horse on the horizon. A beast out of the north named Grendel. Sorry, I meant Gravel.



Yes, Mike Gravel has left the Democratic Party, joined the Libertards and will be competing for their nomination.

Seriously, that sounds great Mike. So, what's first?







Okay, thanks for trying.

I see vermicious_knid made a video there.

I love Mike Gravel. I really do. His presence should be mandatory for every debate everywhere.

And what a great video!

At least its a (semi-legit) third party? Retardation aside, I'm glad to see that there's an almost viable third political party emerging.

Democrats and Republicans aren't retarded??? Both parties suck

Mary Ruwart, Libertarian for President

My god ! That video . . . it's like Zeitgeist with better music.

"We have about 50% of the world's wealth but only 6% of its population.
Our real task in the coming period is to devise a pattern of relationships which will permit us to maintain this position of disparity without positive detriment to our national security. To do so, we will have to dispense with all sentimentality and day-dreaming and our attention will have to be concentrated everywhere on our immediate national objectives. We should cease to talk about vague and unreal objectives such as human rights, the raising of the living standards, and democratization. The day is not far off when we are going to have to deal in straight power concepts. The less we are then hampered by idealistic slogans, the better".

George Kennan, Director of the Policy Planning Staff of the U.S. Department of State, 1948.

But, but, but . . . . da big govamunt is BAD!!

I can't understand how a large group of people can possibly think big corporations (that have only one responsibility-stockholder profits) would willingly spend their money on the social programs that would be left fund-less without federal money.

Libertarians . . . The Head/Desk Party!

According to Libertarian party rules, if it comes down to a fight at the convention, Barr and Gravel will each be given a knife and a canteen, and dropped off somewhere in the north woods. He who survives (with the most amassed animal skins) is the winner.

This was one of my favourite articles so far - Thanks, FTR.

Highlights:

That video was the best part of my week so far.

I only have one question.

What the hell is " Positive Detriment " ?

That video just destroyed my cognitive abilities. Gwah...what? What?! Did I really just see that?
I was actually expecting Ron Paul to drop out and run as an independent, like Liberman did that one time. I'm surprised he's just endorsing someone else to run in his stead.

That's about all I needed to know.

I love Mike Gravel. Seriously, he's so fucking awesome.

aka "Double-plus ungood".

That quote from George Kennan is absolutely fantastic. I cant believe that a senior government official was ever that candid in the 20th century. The entire substance of that passage is the truth behind the mechanics of American policy. Idealistic slogans indeed! That kind of cold, pragmatic and hyper-rationality is the order of the day. Save the abstract concepts and humanistic bullshit for the dream factory and college campus faux-revolutionary speeches. If we as a nation are ever to come to grips with our current responsibilities in the world we have to raise the national IQ with some very uncomforable truths. There is no white and black, only 1000 shades of gray that all smell like shit. Its picking a relatively mild pile of shit and making it work that gets the job done. No candidate is going to have anyones perfect agenda. Find the one who will advance the interests of the nation, international community and the American public in the best balance. Thats all you can do.

i didn't realize mike gravel was friends with manson.

Ridiculous, FTR. Not only do I find it odd that you would beat up on a party that has such marginal support in this country, but you get this totally wrong:

Libertarians do not believe in Utopia. Democrats do. Idiotic ideas about regulating industry have accomplished one thing primarily, and that is to serve private interests using public money and government power. Libertarians believe people should learn to not depend on government for anything except protection of basic rights and protection from foreign enemies.

By the way, do you vote Green because they're popular?

It's astounding to me, the lengths that people go to to discredit libertarianism. You may as well attempt to discredit the Federal Papers. I'd like to see that as your next article.

Yeah, government regulations of private industry have done nothing to protect consumers or workers. I'm sure my imaginary firstborn child will love to know that once they turn nine, they can get a nifty job installing asbestos and lead-based paint at the newly re-opened Triangle Shirtwaist Company. Think of all the scrip they can spend at the company store! Hooray for unregulated capitalism!

Did I miss where Zombie Alexander Hamilton is running for President on the Federalist Party ticket?

Wow, you are dead wrong. Who expects corporations to be charitable? Not me, or any libertarians. Business exists to make profit or fail. Libertarians don't believe in public-mandated charity of any kind, and that would include federal bailout money to Bear Stearns. Bad businesses deserve to fail. Charity belongs strictly in the private world, where people have always been more effective than government.

Your example is no good. Government took up the mantle of worker rights only when it became a popular notion. Businesses whose practices come under scrutiny in the press are bound to fail sooner rather than later, regardless of government action. Expecting government to swoop in and take control of the situation only gives them more unchecked power, with no benefit to us.

Do you go to the government when you want to know which companies are doing bad things? Or do you rely upon private groups like Consumer Reports, Amnesty Int'l, etc.? Do you go to government websites when you want good information, or do you use Wikipedia?

I go to government websites. Wikipedia sucks.

So, government shouldn't be in charge of charities, and businesses shouldn't be in charge of charities . . . Who should, then? Other than a few super-rich, individuals don't have the start-up capital to start an effective, organized charity.

Doesn't Bill Gates contribute millions a year to charity?

Don't average people donate time and money to local causes?

I see no proof that people are incapable of providing whatever charity you think is necessary to society.

This is an interesting and consistent argument I've observed: Libertarianism is an outdated concept, yet many will use 19th century examples to prove the free market doesn't work. I assume this means that society hasn't changed, but political reality has. I would say the opposite. We the people do not tolerate the abuses of 19th century industrialism any more. Politics is about the same as ever: Just give us a little bit more power, and we promise to end all human suffering.