As most space geeks know, the space shuttle Endeavour is currently on a 16-day mission to assemble a giant, non-killer robot named "Dextre." Dextre is a Canadian robot (hence why it is not a killer species) that will aid astronauts aboard the International Space Station.

Recently, I found out some things I didn't know about being an astronaut.

First off, astronauts are allowed to carry iPods aboard the Space Shuttle.

For the last few years astronauts have been allowed to fly with iPods, a great space saver over CD players. The iPods had to be modified to fly in space; the lithium batteries were taken out and replaced with alkaline double As that are certified to fly on the shuttle.

Wouldn't that stink? You take hours to get your music collection together, get your space suit on, get strapped into your seat and finally fly into space, only to find that your iPod cleared itself and the playlist was deleted.

When floating around in space, there are many things you don't think about that we take having here on Earth for granted. Things like pizza.

NASA can put a man on the moon but there is no way to get pizza on a space station or space shuttle mission. It just doesn't hold up. You can't freeze-dry pizza or dehydrate it very successfully and regular pizza delivery is probably a few decades off from becoming reality.

No pizza? What do they eat after they get loaded and get the munchies?

There is also no ice cream in space. No freezer.

OK, maybe I don't want to be an astronaut after all. My iPod deleted its playlist and I can't even eat like crap to keep myself entertained.

So, since I am forced to eat my disgusting, powdered and freeze-dried broccoli, I can at least get clean silverware with my meal, right?

Each space shuttle crew gets one set of silverware per mission. They can't do dishes in space so they have to wipe their forks and knives down with disinfectant wipes after every meal.

Well, clean enough. This is more than I have seen some restaurants do. I won't lie either, there have been times I've picked a dirty spoon out of the sink, wiped it off with a paper towel and used it. It's not just a space thing.

On a good note, 16 days in space would mean I don't have to do laundry!

Astronauts never worry about doing laundry -- there is simply no way to wash clothes in space; water and resources are too scarce. So for 12 days, or however long the mission runs, they wear the same clothes over and over. Their T-shirts, socks and underwear have a special silver thread lining that absorbs odor and keeps items wearable longer. NASA recycles the astronauts' clothes for other missions, including the underwear.

Unfortunately I have met non-astronauts that live this lifestyle. Now that I know this, I may have been mistaken in believing they were just lazy. Maybe they're doing tests for NASA. Maybe not, but it's a good excuse. "I didn't do laundry this week, I decided to help NASA with some research."

On the subject of cleanliness (or lack thereof), we move onto garbage. When I travel in my truck, it's easy just to pitch that empty coffee cup or candy wrapper in the back seat to be cleaned out at a later date (which is never). Garbage in space, on the other hand, is very serious business.

The astronauts don't just toss the garbage overboard. The mandate is clean your plate and drink all the coffee in your drink bag because all the trash created on orbit has to fit in a container the size of a large kitchen garbage can. The trick is to wrap it up as small as you can when you are done eating and then compress it even more and tape it shut.

Too much work. I have no pizza, no ice cream, my iPod is useless and now I have to fiddle with my garbage before I can throw it away.

Actually, I am happy to hear they don't just jettison garbage off into space. NASA actually has a pretty good recycling program.

This last bit leads me to believe I am the perfect applicant as an astronaut.

Money has no value in space.

Since I have none, they should send me up.

When seven astronauts are living together in a cramped atmosphere the psychology of small isolated groups kicks in. Whoever has squirreled away the most M&Ms, tortillas or coffee has the most bargaining power.

Sounds like Oz in space. Trading M&Ms for the needs of a man just loses some of the toughness, though. But since your usual prison currency (cigarettes) isn't allowed in space, I guess M&M's will have to do.

It makes me a little sad that launching a space shuttle seems to have lost the appeal it used to have. I can remember when TV stations used to interrupt shows to broadcast a space shuttle takeoff or landing. Now those things are lucky to get a 15-second bit on the evening news. In my personal opinion, astronauts are the unsung heroes that hardly anyone pays attention to anymore. They put their personal lives at great risk for the technological and scientific gain of humanity. And I, for one, salute them.

You can check out NASA's past, present, and future missions here.

DevilsReject looks forward to future public flights into space.

Coyotemike

USA

May 2006

MAR 21, 2008 03:05 PM

Some people call me the Space Cowboy . . .

LostLucy

USA

December 2006

MAR 21, 2008 03:27 PM

I've wanted to be an astronaut since long before you could even dream about taking a cassette tape walkman, so I've always thought about how I'd play the songs in my mind while staring at the universe. WHo needs drugs for that trip?