We are seeking qualified men to work in an exciting desert environment! Do you want to enjoy sun, fun and a "no rules" lifestyle? Are you currently employed in law enforcement, but feel constrained because you cant shoot random people in the face? Are you interested in raping female co-workers and walking away without fear of prosecution? If so, we want you to be a part of our team. Come join our firm, No Rules Contracting Corp., in beautiful Iraq!

Today, we are fulfilling the dreams of thousands of Americans just like yourself. Do you dream of killing innocent men while they guard a foreign government building, like Jack Bauer? How about opening fire on innocent Arabs? Are you motivated to rape? Our employees can shoot anyone they want, rape anyone they want, whenever they want without fear of repercussions. That is a No Rules Contracting Corp. guarantee.

We never thought that people would be shooting at us from the Ministry of Justice. It's a government building. No one would expect it.

If you work with No Rules Contracting Corp., they better expect it. We are offering a once in a lifetime opportunity that cannot be found in America: The happiness of pure freedom. You can even expect to have a good laugh with your fellow employees after killing whoever you want.

"I told them, 'I want to speak with the guy who is in charge of this unit,' " he said.

The contractors started toying with him.

"He's in charge," said one, pointing at one of his colleagues.

"No, he's in charge," said another.

We encourage the hes in charge game. Why? Because we believe you are a valued employee and we are team players. When we say we have your back at No Rules Contracting Corp., we mean it. We live by our motto.

We're fing security; we don't have to answer to anybody.

Welcome to a new kind of company. Dream big, because in Iraq you will be the top dog; even above US government employees.

Can you believe it? They actually drew their weapons on U.S. soldiers.

Believe it! The men and woman of No Rules work hard and nothing stands in our way. We founded this company with employees who know how to work hard and play harder.

The copter dropped CS gas, a riot-control substance the American military in Iraq can use only under the strictest conditions and with the approval of top military commanders. An armored vehicle on the ground also released the gas, temporarily blinding drivers, passers-by and at least 10 American soldiers operating the checkpoint.

We dont want to just hire you as an employee, we want to make you part of our family. At No Rules, we recognize the importance of your experience in the security field, which we incorporate into our unparalleled team building exercises!

I went outside the shop to see a convoy of SUVs with security guards shooting randomly at the people at low level. We were surprised by this and we rushed inside our shops to avoid random bullets.

Gunfire was directed at streets in the area with civilian cars and passers-by and that fire lasted for 10 to 20 minutes.

No Rules also allows our employees the flexibility to work as independent contractors if they need extra income. Whether escorting criminals out of the war torn country, selling weapons to militias or just shooting dogs, you can expect the full support of No Rules Contracting Corp.

Most employees of No Rules Contracting Corp. will receive their own employee automobile. As part of our company policy to stimulate creativity, we encourage each of our employees to fashion their own driving rules.

Suddenly, guards from the last SUV opened fire on the taxi while it was totally motionless and no threat whatsoever to the convoy.

They fired on us, and we never threatened them. They shot us and didn't let us release ourselves from the car until they escaped and left us covered in blood.

No Rules Contracting Corp. recognizes and rewards achievement. We dont believe in hollow gifts, like an individualized plaque, or a job well done badge. Our company understands the commitment our employees show on a daily basis and offers rewards American-based companies cannot, like rape.

Both vaginally and anally.

After the alleged reward, No Rules Contracting Corp. will make certain your fellow employee will be locked in a container for 24 hours, any incriminating evidence will be disappeared and she will be subjected to a fear program.

There is no guarantee of a job, if you dont stay and get over it.

Besides our rewards program, we also have an extensive benefit package specifically for males.

If you wanted to get a promotion you didn't necessarily have to have the qualifications. You just needed to be sleeping with the person who was doing the hiring.

No Rules has taken advantage of the lawless status of private contractors in Iraq to create the perfect environment for todays private warrior. Join our special family today. No Rules Contracting Corp. is currently accepting applicants with law enforcement or Special Forces Military experience. We look forward to hearing from you!

artpie

Winston Salem, NC

December 2003

JAN 17, 2008 07:03 AM

Amway... I hardly know ye.

smithers_jones

I'm lost

November 2003

JAN 17, 2008 07:17 AM

A massive mercenary army, tied to one political party, Christian fundamentalist movements and Amway. What could possibly go wrong?

defaultx

I'm lost

February 2006

JAN 17, 2008 07:49 AM

the Yosemite Sam "back off" bumper stickers didnt work.

Coyotemike

USA

May 2006

JAN 17, 2008 07:50 AM

Sickening. Just sickening.

artpie

Winston Salem, NC

December 2003

JAN 17, 2008 08:02 AM

Let's not forget their "air force".

Aviation Worldwide Services LLC (AWS) is a sister company to Presidential Airways, Inc., both of which are owned by Blackwater USA, Melbourne, FL. AWS owns the planes, and Presidential Airways operates them.
The company appears to provide air services to the CIA.
Presidential Airways holds a Secret Facility Clearance from the U.S. Department of Defense. It operates several CASA 212 aircraft in addition to a Boeing 767.
lackwater has won a S-70A modification/upgrade program for the UAE Special Operations Command that include Mounts for Machine Guns, Heads Up Display, Secure Communications and FLIR systems EO-IR sensor with Vectr mission system.

and the beginnings of a navy

Blackwater Maritime Security Services offers tactical training for maritime force protection units. In the past it has trained Greek security forces for the 2004 Olympics, Azerbaijan Naval Sea Commandos, and Afghanistan's Ministry of Interior. Blackwater's facilities include a manmade lake, with stacked containers simulating the hull and deck of a ship for maritime assaults. Blackwater received a contract to train United States Navy sailors following the attack on the USS Cole.
It has also recently purchased a 183ft vessel, the McArthur, which has been outfitted for disaster response and training. According to Blackwater USA, it features "state of the art navigation systems, full GMDDSS communications, SEATEL Broadband, dedicated command and control bas, helicopter decks, hospital and multiple support vessel capabilities."

LostLucy

USA

December 2006

JAN 17, 2008 08:15 AM

Has there ever been more of an illegal administration in history? Does our government begin to resemble Nazi Germany much??

MarcyBeth

Ocala, FL

July 2006

JAN 17, 2008 08:27 AM

LostLucy said:
Has there ever been more of an illegal administration in history? Does our government begin to resemble Nazi Germany much??

um, no. while some things are corrupt, our government does NOT resemble Nazi Germany.

Nessuno

Washington, DC

May 2006

JAN 17, 2008 08:50 AM

um, no. while some things are corrupt, our government does NOT resemble Nazi Germany.

You're right, instead it resembles a fundamentalist dictatorship, with secret operatives, a private army and the ability to put people in detainment for indefinite amounts of time without trying them.

zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

JAN 17, 2008 09:02 AM

Nessuno said:

um, no. while some things are corrupt, our government does NOT resemble Nazi Germany.

I'd say more like Late Republican Rome. But then, I'm a nerd like that.

Nessuno

Washington, DC

May 2006

JAN 17, 2008 09:13 AM

Zarth said:

Nessuno said:

um, no. while some things are corrupt, our government does NOT resemble Nazi Germany.

I'd say more like Late Republican Rome. But then, I'm a nerd like that.

True dat.

zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

JAN 17, 2008 09:27 AM

Nessuno said:
Tru dat.

Corrected for spelling errors.

Coyotemike

USA

May 2006

JAN 17, 2008 09:43 AM

Zarth said:

Nessuno said:

um, no. while some things are corrupt, our government does NOT resemble Nazi Germany.

I'd say more like Late Republican Rome. But then, I'm a nerd like that.

That would make for an interesting election season. Instead of campaigning, each candidate gets to raise their own army and march towards Washington. Winner takes all.