NEWS: Christmas Is Fucked, Santa Shot Down Over Brazil

POLITICS: Christmas Is Fucked, Santa Shot Down Over Brazil

First of all, Merry Christmas. Even to you Jewish peeps, whom, I was told by Mel Gibson, killed Christ. (Not cool.) Anyway, Jesus is now irrelevant and this is Santa's day. Or it was until he attempted to fly over Brazil.



Earlier this week, Santa Claus we shot down over Rio de Janeiro. No, I am not kidding.

Rio de Janeiro has quite a few slums that are controlled by gangs. Check out the movie City of God if you want to know what happened to Santa. Police don't even venture into the slums too often, and when they do, they go with full force, using helicopters and armored vehicles. They do not fly over in a bright red outfit. Ever!



Santa was not injured, but the helicopter was damaged and had to return to the base. Bullet holes were later found in the fuselage. He took a car to the kid's party.



Merry Christmas, porn lovers.

Has anyone notified Bill O'Reilly, this is a real war on Christmas!

Maybe they thought is was..

Hilarious.

I believe you mean City of God, though.

I really wish I could stop laughing.

It was bound to happen eventually.

That's what the big red one gets for downsizing his reindeer and using a helicopter.

Sometimes upgrading and getting with the times backfires.

This is a good reason never to let the inequality of wealth get very high, and then legislate so that the poor cannot become rich.

the Google Earth tracker kind of got hung up in Brazil, i got a system error then it shut down.

wonder if this was the cause?

Smooth! Way to get Santa shot down you evil bastard!

Unless, of course, you meant the reason it got hung up and crashed was because of the economy there, in which case. . . I've got nothing.

i did no not shoot santa down!

Ahha, double negative. So you did shoot santa down!

Damn ... guess it's hard to disprove the red fat guy if he's getting shot down out of the sky. Everything I thought I knew was a lie; heh.

Hahahaha, I was scared by those rich kids who where going to miss their Santa flying to them on a helicopter. Luckily he didn´t die, they can still have their party.

Unfortunately... Santa was involved in a tragic accident a few hrs late, while flying over N America...




Ho ho... d'oh!!!

All these accidents and the guy still got the job done. I'm such a fucking slacker in comparison.

huh.......i guess the world really is going to hell

Tell Santa not to forget the napalm next time he flies over said area
(cue "Flight of the Valkyries" from Apocalypse Now)