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FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

DEC 22, 2007 07:48 AM





First of all, Merry Christmas. Even to you Jewish peeps, whom, I was told by Mel Gibson, killed Christ. (Not cool.) Anyway, Jesus is now irrelevant and this is Santa's day. Or it was until he attempted to fly over Brazil.



Earlier this week, Santa Claus we shot down over Rio de Janeiro. No, I am not kidding.



Drug traffickers in a Rio slum opened fire on a helicopter carrying a Santa to a children's party, apparently mistaking it for a police helicopter.



Rio de Janeiro has quite a few slums that are controlled by gangs. Check out the movie City of God if you want to know what happened to Santa. Police don't even venture into the slums too often, and when they do, they go with full force, using helicopters and armored vehicles. They do not fly over in a bright red outfit. Ever!



Santa was not injured, but the helicopter was damaged and had to return to the base. Bullet holes were later found in the fuselage. He took a car to the kid's party.



Merry Christmas, porn lovers.



IDGAS

IDGAS

Jackson Heights, NY
March 2004

DEC 25, 2007 09:13 AM

Has anyone notified Bill O'Reilly, this is a real war on Christmas!

Rusty_metal_ass

Rusty_metal_ass

I'm lost
October 2006

DEC 25, 2007 09:15 AM

Maybe they thought is was..

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

DEC 25, 2007 09:28 AM

Hilarious.

I believe you mean City of God, though.

Zarth

Zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

DEC 25, 2007 09:33 AM

mingol said:
Hilarious.


I really wish I could stop laughing.

Kindle

Kindle

Seattle, WA
March 2006

DEC 25, 2007 09:36 AM

It was bound to happen eventually.

JekyllAndHyde

JekyllAndHyde

Nottingham, MD
April 2005

DEC 25, 2007 03:05 PM

That's what the big red one gets for downsizing his reindeer and using a helicopter.

Kindle

Kindle

Seattle, WA
March 2006

DEC 25, 2007 03:10 PM

Sometimes upgrading and getting with the times backfires.

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

DEC 25, 2007 04:58 PM



Rio de Janeiro has quite a few slums that are controlled by gangs. Check out the movie City of God if you want to know what happened to Santa. Police don't even venture into the slums too often, and when they do, they go with full force, using helicopters and armored vehicles. They do not fly over in a bright red outfit. Ever!



This is a good reason never to let the inequality of wealth get very high, and then legislate so that the poor cannot become rich.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

DEC 25, 2007 05:05 PM

the Google Earth tracker kind of got hung up in Brazil, i got a system error then it shut down.

wonder if this was the cause?

Kindle

Kindle

Seattle, WA
March 2006

DEC 25, 2007 05:14 PM

DevilsReject said:
the Google Earth tracker kind of got hung up in Brazil, i got a system error then it shut down.

wonder if this was the cause?


Smooth! Way to get Santa shot down you evil bastard!

Unless, of course, you meant the reason it got hung up and crashed was because of the economy there, in which case. . . I've got nothing.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

DEC 25, 2007 05:31 PM

Kindle said:

DevilsReject said:
the Google Earth tracker kind of got hung up in Brazil, i got a system error then it shut down.

wonder if this was the cause?


Smooth! Way to get Santa shot down you evil bastard!

Unless, of course, you meant the reason it got hung up and crashed was because of the economy there, in which case. . . I've got nothing.



i did no not shoot santa down!

Kindle

Kindle

Seattle, WA
March 2006

DEC 25, 2007 06:09 PM

DevilsReject said:

Kindle said:

DevilsReject said:
the Google Earth tracker kind of got hung up in Brazil, i got a system error then it shut down.

wonder if this was the cause?


Smooth! Way to get Santa shot down you evil bastard!

Unless, of course, you meant the reason it got hung up and crashed was because of the economy there, in which case. . . I've got nothing.



i did no not shoot santa down!


Ahha, double negative. So you did shoot santa down!

jrmccabe

jrmccabe

Bremerton, WA
June 2007

DEC 26, 2007 08:24 AM

Damn ... guess it's hard to disprove the red fat guy if he's getting shot down out of the sky. Everything I thought I knew was a lie; heh.

Crissis

Crissis

Ecuador
January 2007

DEC 26, 2007 10:12 AM

Hahahaha, I was scared by those rich kids who where going to miss their Santa flying to them on a helicopter. Luckily he didn´t die, they can still have their party.

AmbientLight

AmbientLight

Huntington Beach, CA
March 2005

DEC 26, 2007 02:55 PM

Unfortunately... Santa was involved in a tragic accident a few hrs late, while flying over N America...

zoom image


Ho ho... d'oh!!!

jrmccabe

jrmccabe

Bremerton, WA
June 2007

DEC 26, 2007 04:47 PM

All these accidents and the guy still got the job done. I'm such a fucking slacker in comparison.

xXDanXx

xXDanXx

Chicago, IL
December 2007

DEC 26, 2007 08:01 PM

huh.......i guess the world really is going to hell

otaku

otaku

I'm lost
January 2004

DEC 26, 2007 08:16 PM

Tell Santa not to forget the napalm next time he flies over said area
(cue "Flight of the Valkyries" from Apocalypse Now)

Nancy

Nancy

SUICIDEGIRL

Brazil

DEC 27, 2007 08:45 PM

no comment.