NEWS: The Republican Race Is A Train Wreck Falling On Top Of A Car Crash

POLITICS: The Republican Race Is A Train Wreck Falling On Top Of A Car Crash

The race for the Republican nomination is a complete disaster. Each candidate is coming apart at the seams in spectacular fashion and it is truly delightful to witness. As of right now, Republicans do not have a candidate for president who is not badly damaged.

Let us start with Rudy Giuliani. Rudy is extremely thankful today for the Bush administrations shocking lies about Iran’s nuclear capabilities because his Shag Fund Scandal is off the front page – for now. But it is a long campaign and the allegations will dog Rudy the entire race. Let me recap Rudy’s shit storm.

Rudy used funds from little known city agencies to cover the cost of security when he took trips to the Hamptons to bang his mistress. Then it was revealed that Rudy used the NYPD as a taxi service to drive his mistress to Pennsylvania to see her parents, as well as around the city whenever she wanted. And best of all, he made the cops walk her dog. There is nothing a big city cop loves more than to walk and pick up the shit of the mayor's mistress' dog.

Also last week, it was revealed that Rudy went to a fundraiser
hosted by a convicted criminal, was lobbying for earmarks for 14 companies while campaigning against earmarks, does business with a Sheik who has close ties to Osama bin Laden and had his stump speech ripped apart by the New York Times for making claims that are "are incomplete, exaggerated or just plain wrong." Rudy is a walking disaster.

Next up was Mitt Romney and his illegal immigrant employee nightmare. For a Democratic candidate any sort of black mark in regards to immigration would not be that big of a deal, but the Republicans expect to run on the issue this year. It is the new gay marriage, which means any candidate who is not squeaky clean is in trouble with the base. And Mitt stepped into a big pile of Mitt this week.

During last week’s retarded YouTube debate, Mitt kept accusing Rudy of helping out immigrants by turning New York into a “sanctuary city.” Rudy fired back that Mitt had employed illegal aliens at his home in the past. Rudy was referring to a Boston Globe story from December 2006, which accused Mitt of hiring a landscaping company that employed illegal aliens. Mitt said he took care of the situation and made it clear to the landscaping company that no illegal aliens were to work on his property.

So, the day after the debate, the Boston Globe went back to Mitt's house and guess what they found? Illegal aliens working on the shrubbery. I am shocked and heart broken.

Now the Republican horde is losing their minds. Right wing message boards are working overtime attacking Mitt and his villainous behavior. He basically shit on America and everyone knows it. Good luck, Mitt! Just be thankful that you didn’t get a rapist out of prison so he could rape and kill people. That honor goes to Mike Huckabee and this week it came to the attention of the nation.

Now, that could certainly happen to any governor. Of course, the fact that Huckabee showed Dumond so much respect and kindness was very odd.

“Dear Wayne.” Are you kidding? You just opened a letter to a rapist with “Dear?” What an asshole. If I ever write a letter to a rapist, it will start with, "Hey Fuckface."

Dumond’s previous victims begged Huckabee not to release the rapist because they were certain he would rape again, but his time they were afraid he would kill his victim to make sure she could not finger him for the crime. Huckabee went ahead with the parole anyway. Why he did so is even creepier than the parole itself: Bill Clinton.

Turns out Dumond was convicted and sentenced for raping a distant cousin of Bill Clinton, so the right wing became convinced that Dumond was innocent. They had no evidence other than the fact that the rape victim was related to Clinton. The right wing put massive pressure on Huckabee to release Dumond. New York Post columnist Steve Dunleavy was on a mission, writing such beautiful prose as, the “So-called victim” and "That rape never happened." Eventually, Huckabee was either convinced Dumond was framed (probably not) or thought he could score points with the right wing (yes) by setting a rapist free.

Now Huckabee is running for president and he has a rapist albatross hanging around his neck. Good luck with that.

That is not such a good week for the three Republican front runners, is it? But we can also take a moment to look at the pure insanity coming from the bottom of the pack.



Wow, just throw "Jew" in there and you've got a piece of propaganda straight out of Nazi Germany.

A train wreck falling on a car crash.

It would be funny if Huckabee's fuckup hadn't led to a tragedy. The victims family should sue Huck for wrongful death. Probably wouldn't get it in their favor, but it would still analize his campaign w/o lube.

Did you catch Romney's conference about religion today? I thought for a second that I had tuned in to some religious channel. Then Heidi Collins appeared on screen.

It was mildly interesting too. Or maybe I wasn't fully awake I've not decided on that yet.

Tancredo is a psycho.

So basically no matter who is president next, Democrat or Republican, we are pretty well fucked. Awesome.

And how much you wanna bet the friggin' election will STILL be close.

Deport those who don't belong....why don't we start with the politicians...and make sure they never come back....

On the bright side, Giuliani isn't just campaigning on 9/11 anymore. Now he's also campaigning on the Iranian Hostage crisis.



If he continues to plummet, be on the look out for a "Remember the Alamo" ad.

The ironic thing about Tancredo's ad is that the "Central American Gangs" he is so concerned about actually originated in California prisons and the streets of Los Angeles and were then exported to El Salvador and other countries in Central and Latin America.

game over man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh0qD0aA2bY

"Dear Wayne." Are you kidding? You just opened a letter to a rapist with "Dear?" What an asshole. If I ever write a letter to a rapist, it will start with, "Hey Fuckface."

Dear Mr. Reaper,

Thanks for making me spit coffee out my nose and all over my computer monitor.

Well... with Republicans, we're more fucked.

Agreed.
The future is so bright I have to wear shades.

Hey FTR... you forgot one. The one with the blimp. Is there not always more space to write about the one with the blimp?

Because he has HUGE SUPPORT!

On a more serious note, Huckabee got weirdly positive coverage in the New Yorker this week from Hendrik Hertzberg himself. It freaked me out.

That is all.

Not fixed, just bored.

Blimpin' ain't easy.

Oh, and this is my new favorite phrase: "Dump Tea Into Harbor From Blimp"

You this could just have easily been an AFFR.

RE: The Tancredo Ad

I saw a documentary about some of these Central American gangs that suggested lots of the techniques/strategies or whatever were learned and exported from LA to Central America. If this is true, it greatly undermines the notion that Central Americans are bringing violence TO the US. They're simply learning it here and exporting it to their own countries. Yet another reason why poverty in general and in large cities specifically needs to be addressed pronto. Not to mention, did anyone stop and consider the fact that part of the reason people join these gangs in because the come to a new foreign country and are alienated by it. Granted, that's not a good reason to join a violent gang, but it's kinda ironic.

Beside the xenophobia, it wasn't a even a good ad. It looks like did a simple google image search for "mexicans" and "gangs".

But it's not like Tancredo has any fucking chance in hell getting the nomination here.

It was more than the techniques%u2014it was literally the actual gangs themselves. They were formed primarily in the California prison system and the streets of Los Angeles in Salvadoran communities by children of immigrants who fled the US sponsored civil war there. Large numbers were eventually deported to El Salvador (though many came here as children or infants with little or no ties to El Salvador) over the years and established gangs in San Salvador which then eventually spread to other parts of Central and Latin America.

But Huckabee is Chuck Norris Approved!!!

Yep, that's exactly what it was. Thanks for adding the specifics. It's been a while since I saw the documentary.

It would be nicer if any of this meant none of them could get elected. I'm still not that confident. I'm not ever going to forget that this is the point in the process where, during 1999, I kept thinking to myself "Man, Bush's kid is an idiot. I wonder if he thinks his name alone is going to get him the nomination, because he sure doesn't seem to be sweating it too hard."

I'm not repeating that mistake in 2007. I'm telling everybody that I can about the fucked up shit everybody has been pulling. I wish I'd done that a little more in '99.

eh, about the blimp...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

BUMP

Romney vetoed a bill to allow expanded access to the morning after pill and also criticized Roe v Wade. Yup, he looks like the perfect Republican candidate...