NEWS: 31 Days To Iowa, GOP Style

POLITICS: 31 Days To Iowa, GOP Style

Thirty-one days until the corn engorged people of Iowa shuffle into voting booths and pick from the saddest field of GOP candidates in a long, long time. Then the insane mountain lunatics from New Hampshire will follow five days later. At that point I expect a name to emerge that will scare the shit out of every sane person in the country: Huckabee.

Huckabee pretty much annihilated the competition in Wednesday’s Republican debate, which has led to another bounce. It’s not his first bounce, either. He got one from the Ames Straw poll in August and has been rising ever since.

A December 1st poll of Republican voters shows Huckabee pulling ahead in Iowa for the first time. In early October, the same poll had Mitt Romney ahead by 17 percentage points. Shit, Huckabee used to be behind the walking corpse called Fred Thompson. But now the Christian psycho is on a roll.

It doesn't look as good for Huckabee in New Hampshire, where he is sitting in the middle of the pack, but also rising. With 15%, he has his highest support yet in New Hampshire and is way up from the 4% he had in September. Romney is kicking ass in the militia state, while Giuliani and McCain are slipping down. Huckabee should get a big bounce if he wins Iowa and could easily close on Romney.

Giuliani is collapsing into a giant shit heap. He has slipped into third in Iowa with 13% and is tied for second place in New Hampshire with Huckabee and McCain. But in New Hampshire he is trending down. Also, he has some major electability problems in Iowa.

Those are not good numbers, considering they are coming from his party. Giuliani's new Shag Fund scandal should completely doom him, unless of course, conservatives are okay with a guy having the NYPD pay for his fuck trips, act like a cab for his mistress and her friends around town, drive her to her parents house in Pennsylvania and walk her dog. Yes, he had cops walk his mistress’ dog. He’s done.

Fred Thompson is fourth in Iowa, but there is no reason to even discuss him.

McCain is pretty screwed as well. He’s sitting in fifth in Iowa with 7% and second in New Hampshire with 15%. With his kind of name recognition he should be doing much better. And contrary to what Ron Paul’s insane followers want you to think, he is just a zit on the ass of the Republican field. Paul is tied with McCain for fifth in Iowa and in New Hampshire has a whopping 8%. But that is not the worst news for Paul.

Iowa:

New Hampshire:

Paul is plowing forward with a lot of cash but Republicans just don’t like him. All he has been able to do is catch the already dead McCain in Iowa. Congrats, loser.

Shut the fuck up. Ron Paul already lost.

This race is looking like Huckabee and Mitt Romney. Mitt has decent numbers in Iowa and fantastic numbers in New Hampshire. Much of that is due to the fact that Romney has completely out spent his fellow candidates in the two states.

Unfortunately, he is now slipping in Iowa and has dropped five points since October to 24% as of last week. But in New Hampshire, Romney is a Mormon freight train.

You go, girl.

The key fact in this mess is that Huckabee hasn’t been spending money. He’s been doing it all with a grass roots following, public appearances and through debates. Now that Huckabee is ahead in Iowa, expect him to get a massive infusion of cash and become a serious contender for president. Right now he has the best chance. Scary.

Well, he was endorsed by Chuck Norris, after all.

I could certainly be wrong, but I don't think Huckabee has a realistic chance of winning in the general. He's the darling of the Religious Right, and they've been losing traction among mainstream voters for awhile, now. He strikes me as the Republican equivalent of Mondale.

Wow. This really shows how poitical races are no longer (nor have they been for a very long time) about choosing the best in the field, but about choosing the least of all evils. Lets see, do we want:

1 A rich man with no connection to the majority of America

2. A religious nut who will want to force us all into gov't sanctioned churches

3. A corrupt adulterer

4. A racist, anti-abortion "doctor" who seems to want to undo the decisions of the Civil War.

Or two more canidates that have run out of gas.

I pity the Republicans on their lack of choices.

Obama '08!!!

Fixed.

Most presidential races in American history haven't been much better. Some have, of course, but many have been worse. Idealization of the past is no way forward.

I actually agree with you; I don't think he can be elected, despite Chuck endorsing him. But Chuck's pretty religious too, so...

I pity America on it's lack of choices.

We need a NO CONFIDENCE button and if WE the People decide none of the candidates are worthy the process should have to start over.......

for serious

If you just give 'ol Chucky a shave......
Separated at birth?

as if there is a legitimate democratic candidate? Hillary and Osama ...... Yeah Right!

Yes please.

well, that lady in yesterday's AFR ought to be happy...Huckabee is ahead in the GOP and Hilary is behind in the Dems...

I hope he chooses Walker as his running mate...instead of shooting his friends he'll...aw nevermind, the roundhouse kick is played out.

He is.

And I'm not that surprised we agree - SG's membership is generally left-leaning (though there are a good deal more conservatives on here than are vocal), but even the conservatives who are here aren't very likely to be of the sodomy-obsessed, thunder-and-hellfire type.

As if that is even remotely the point of this piece. And if that is all you've got, dear God...

He will never win a general election. He could take the Republican nomination, especially in a three man race.

I don't think his social conservatism will be as much of a negative, because he does well in debates and his "happy warrior" persona and sense of humor will keep him from frightening people, plus he's middle of the road on a lot of other issues. The Club for Growth even calls him a "fiscal liberal" based on his record as governor, while Huckabee returned the insult by calling them the "Club for Greed".
The real albatross around Huckabee's neck is his support for the Fair Tax. Although a case can be made for switching to a consumption tax, it's justifiably vulnerable to class based rhetoric, and the Fair Tax is based on questionable accounting.

Exactly, but we tend to disagree a bit. But I'm not even remotely sodomy-obsessed, or religious. I guess I'm sometimes "right-leaning" but I disagree with the dogmatics quite a bit on a range of issues, whether or not "god" is a proper noun being the most important (to them).

When I vote, I intend to cast my vote for Stalin and Jupiter Optimus Maximus. Dead dictators and fictitious beings appeal to me more than the present selection of hacks. Perhaps more would get done...

This is true, most "SG conservatives" are moderates or libertarians to some degree or another. They may be more like Goldwater than Reagan-Bush-Bush in terms of conservatism. Hard to see the bible-thumping type frequenting a site featuring nude "alt" girls where marijuana and/or drug use is openly discussed (though some do - shhh.)

I'm not so sure about that, myself. Tax policies are pretty abstruse, and very easy to misrepresent. There are plenty of highly vociferous supporters of a flat income tax because they believe that the rich would pay more under such a system, as well as people who suppose a National Sales Tax because they believe it's less regressive than an income tax.

Social policies tend to be a bit more "meatier" topic than economics, anyway. But I suppose we'll see.

That reminds me of the father of one of my ex-girlfriends when I was younger. He told me he voted Republican only because Tamerlane wasn't running.

That's friggin' hilarious!

Right. Because they can't possibly switch their registration and vote democrat in the primary. With all that I've seen of the Republicans latley...I'm having a hard time giving any one of them my nod. Granted, the same applies to the democrats at this point, but hey...it's nice to keep my options open.

I hope Guiliani is finished. I can't stand the guy.

Well, this insane mountain lunatic isn't voting for any of the people mentioned in this article. Especially Mitt Romney. If I did, my Masshole family would disown me.