NEWS: Those Are Some Bad-Ass Dolphins

GEEK: Those Are Some Bad-Ass Dolphins

What should you do if you're surfing and a great white shark appears out of nowhere and starts chomping on your leg? You should summon your roving pack of bottlenose dolphin pals to form a protective ring around you, ensuring your safe return to shore with whatever is left of your leg.



This actually happened to a surfer by the name of Todd Endris in Marina State Park just off the coast of Monterey, California. In addition to successfully eating the flesh off of Todd's leg, the great white shark peeled the skin off of his back.

Back on shore some lifeguards stood around utterly helpless.

Cut to: the dolphins! I picture that the dolphins were huddled up trying to figure out what to do. The head dolphin leads the charge just like Samuel L. Jackson in Snakes on a Plane. "I'm tired of these mother-fucking sharks eating these mother-fucking people!"

The Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society has a few stories about dolphins helping humans. The first story dates back to the musician Arion in ancient Greece nearly over two-thousand years ago. The most recent story involves a group of fisherman in South Carolina and their sunken boat. They were surrounded by sharks and a group of dolphins told the sharks to scram and babysat the fishermen all night.



There is no conclusive evidence as to why dolphins are such sweeties. It could be that they think we're just another sea creature like them or they are some miraculous, other-worldly creatures with amazing consciences. You decide!



I love the unpredictability of sharks. They are totally ruthless predators in some situations. If you're Sharkman, you can seduce them into tonic immobility and have them eating out of the palm of your hand, rather than eating your hand.

Well Hichikers Guide to the Galaxy states that they are really a alien race living among us. We just don't listen when they speak. What's next a galactic freeway through the neighbor hood, hmmmm?

good point...

so basically pet a shark's nose and everything's cool?

They actually tested this on Mythbusters a few weeks ago and got similar results. They built a replica dolphin, and the sharks (great whites) stayed away from the bait while it was out.

yeah, a sharks nose is nothing but nerves so if you just touch a sharks nose it practically paralyzes them for a moment and they lose track of what they were doing.

and, the mythbusters proved this theory recently. they built a lifesize dolphin went to south africa, put a fake seal in the water and a great white attacked it. moments later they put the seal back in the water with the robotic dolphin around the seal. the shark cautiously swam near the seal and dolphin and then jetted away never to be seen again.

They're like little guardian angles!

gooooooooo dolphins.

mythbusters +1
dolphins fuckin up sharks +1000

First of all, yep, cool story.

Second of all, that video makes me want to punch that guy. For one thing, the shark is a black-tip reef shark... they're about as dangerous as a poodle. I'd like to see him try it on this:.
For another, sharks need to have a constant flow of water across their gills to breathe so in effect, what he's doing to that shark is the equivalent of throwing sand in someone's eyes and then drowning them. Wow, I wish I could be as cool as that guy...

see? geometry is good for you!

Thats some Aquaman Shit going on right THier...

I love dolphins. <3<3<3

This is awesome.

i thought i was tired of snakes on a plane jokes until i read this article. pure gold! dolphins=adorable geniuses

Spectacular! Team dolphin, all the way.

hahahaha cavorting dolphins I love it

I can't swim.
This is relevant.

sharks know better than to fuck with dolphins, right down to on an instinctual level. even if it's an animatronic dolphin being pulled by a boat.

A shark's nose is like a man's balls. Treated gently, good times. Treated roughly...

Best way to stop a shark from chewing on you is to punch it on the nose. The dolphins know that too. As I understand it, they tend to help us if they come across us while we're in trouble, not just with sharks but with anything that would result in us drowning.

I like to think they're empathic or something. Whatever they are, one of my life goals is to go swimming with some. I just hope none of them decide I'm hot. Some of them can be... promiscuous.

Beat me.