NEWS: When Turning Rock Band Up to Eleven Goes Wrong

GEEK: When Turning Rock Band Up to Eleven Goes Wrong

Finding the right apartment is hard work. First, you have to narrow down a price range that won't leave you eating cat food; from there, you have to find one that actually looks like it sounds in the advertisement description and isn't situated at the corner of Freeway Meridian and Meth Lab, and not only that, but it has to be somewhere convenient to your needs. Variables like smoking or non-smoking can be a factor, and then if you want pets, you have to find somewhere they won't get thrown out on their ears.

And as if that weren't enough, be prepared for a world of pain if you're unfortunate enough to be belabored with the task of being a video game rock star.

You see, I'm somewhat of a Legendary God of Guitar Hero myself, and having spent a good block of Thanksgiving weekend demolishing friends and acquaintances in face-off mode, I can attest to the fact that it is really best played loud and at two-o-clock in the morning (sliding across the floor on one's knees at integral parts of the Dragonforce bonus.) That said, the little time spent not ruling on the five-button was spent fantasizing about, of course, the modern marvel that is Rock Band, guaranteed to be a worthy challenge and at least five times as loud -- while you can turn the volume down on fake guitars, how do you really regulate the volume of your voice when you're trying to hit the upper-stratosphere pitch of Claudio Sanchez? And how do you not drink until you throw the drum kit into the kitchen sink like a crazed reincarnation of Keith Moon? Obviously, it is unavoidable.

It is beneficial, therefore, to have friends with few neighbors and lax landlords. Thus, when someone you know finally gets a compatible console, you'll be ready. Sadly, a group of more pioneering fellows on the Rock Band forums did not have such foresight, and suffered a wrathful blow heard 'round the internet -- eviction by rock.

Okay, sort of evicted. Not that a compulsory evacuation notice is much better, but at least it won't destroy their credit for time eternal. The tragic band posted their notice on the game's forums, blurred by either tears or the earth-shaking metal they're still shredding through in these last darkest days.



I did notice, however, a little something in a close-up of their compliance notice that makes me feel a smidge less sorry for the guys.



Here, I strain my eyes so that you don't have to:

Did these guys read their lease contract before moving into this apartment? It all comes back to finding an apartment that fits your needs. I mean, seriously: don't run your dishwasher after 10PM?! What, are their dishwashers powered by nuclear generators? Faced with that sort of reserve of silence, it was their duty to understand immediately that this apartment complex is for boring grandmas and cat ladies, and should have run screaming on the double. Such a place could never have been tolerant of fake band wizardry, and it was all only a matter of time before they were ousted like Ozzy at the Alamo.

It's a tragic story, and I feel deeply for my brothers in rock, but I hope they can take what they have learned and move on, a little bit older and a little bit wiser, and know that when they finally find a people-friendly apartment to welcome them, at least they will have lived to rock another day.


_DictionaryGirl_ doesn't have Rock Band yet, but she challenges all of you to Guitar Hero.

*takes up the challenge*

Bah! If I didn't live in one such pansy-ass apartment complex I'd take you on. ^_^

I feel sorry, being an avid gamer myself, for those poor souls being thrown on their rockin' rear ends just for doing what comes naturally to some: rockin' the fuck out. But hey, it's not really rock if something or someone isn't destroyed, eh?

They should get a lawyer. I got the same kind of harassment at the last place I lived and the moment I showed that I wasn't going to take it quietly and slink off into the sunset they changed their tune immediately and backed off. In fact, they started getting scared that I would take their ass into court. In my case, and I suspect it's somewhat similar here, the building was trying to rid themselves of folks who had been there long enough that they were paying a significantly lower rent rate than other tenants (they wanted to maximize their rent income), as well as booting out any "fringe" or "out of the mainstream" elements (they wanted to attract a "higher caliber of resident"). To do this they would use any excuse they could to do to kick out folks who fit either profile. As it turned out, I fit both profiles.

I eventually moved out into a bigger and better place, but on my terms and on my timetable, not based upon some trumped up order to get out in ten days.

I say take the case to a lawyer. Bullies will always bully if they think they can get away with it.

The only problem there is that the renters willingly, albeit idiotically, signed the leasing contract, which clearly stated the noise restrictions in place in the building. Considering the fact that dishwashers aren't allowed to be run past a certain hour (and everybody knows it), I don't think the boys would have much chance of convincing a judge that they "weren't informed" or "didn't know better."

They really just should have read it before they signed, is all. If a place is gonna be like that about noise, either pick a different place, or keep it fuckin' down.

This is why I am thinking of getting an apartment building with my friends.

No, not an apartment, but the whole building. They already have the third floor rented out, and I might rent the second floor after renovations are done.

Goddammit, people, BUY SOME REAL FUCKING INSTRUMENTS!
Guitar Hero is the lowest form of wankdom.

Why not go tell people that like Madden to actually play football instead? Or tell people that are into arcade drivers to drive an actual car?

It's because these are games. We know they aren't the real thing, but not all of us actually want to be able to play these songs, we just want to have the fun that comes along with playing the game.

They're two different things, essentially. If you know people that have difficulty telling the difference, fine, but I haven't met any.

Thanks for weighing in, gramps.

Funny you say that, After GH3 I finally decided to buy myself an Ibanez. Thier Necks are Fucking Fast!!!



So in other words that contract means No Loud drunk rambuctios sex after 10pm either? That's got to suck cause that's the best part of Drinking.

Right on!

C'mon, videogame wankers, why bother buying Call Of Duty 4 when you can join the real fucking army and shoot real fucking people?

Why buy Bioshock when you can simply take a real fucking bathysphere and explore an a real fucking underwater Objectivist dystopia populated by real fucking genetically modified monstrosties?

Why buy Half Life 2 when you could get a a real fucking PhD in theoretical physics and buy a real fucking crowbar?

Why join some obscure internet porn site when you could be out looking at real fucking naked women?

Guitar hero is my crack.

maybe i'm getting old, but mandatory 24 hours quiet time sounds pretty good for me.

I want to see a mars volta song on one of them games, preferably one of the ones that last 15 minutes plus

watch as video games junkies fall over dead from the exhaustion hehehe

Oh god, no shit huh?

Cicatriz Esp FTW!

Well, Free Bird is over half that long and at least five times as boring (at the beginning) so I'm not sure your point stands.

Oh, or was this the "gamers are all fat, out-of-shape lumps who can't stand physical exertion" trope? Because I love the '90s, too.

Oh look, I've gone against popular opinion. What are the odds?

thedragonjedi, kudos to you for taking the initiative to buy an actual guitar. Too bad more people don't do this...

Toku666, football is for morons. Oh, and "gramps"? Dude, you're 33.

Uncognitive, Call Of Duty, Half Life, and Bioshock involve shooting things, which is destructive. Playing guitar is about making music, which is constructive (that'd be a different thing.) If you want to run around shooting people then video games are a great alternative to the real thing, but if you want to make music then why not buy a real guitar?

Guitar Hero doesn't involve any actual guitars.

It's even worse than karaoke. With karaoke, you actually have to sing, to use your own voice, which means you could use your voice to front a real band. Once you've gotten really good with that GH controller... what else can you do with it?

I was sitting here listening to mars volta and I was laughing at the idea of a few kids trying to keep up with the insane shit their music consist of is all.

and as a fellow video gamer, and not fat in the least i can say id be falling over dead too.

Most places have it written into their lease agreement that they were receive x-amount of warnings before management can evict them for noise complaints. Mine does. He should check his lease! Or maybe he's already been warned.

Being a musician myself, I have no problem in saying this: not everyone wants to make music. Some people like to play video games for the sake of the competition, for the sake of challenging their coordination, for the sake of turning it into a drinking game . . . whathaveyou. They play video games for the sake of video games. Don't force your elitist BS down other people's throats.

Play your friends, maybe? Have fun, maybe? I don't know, man. The world is full of crazy ideas!!

It doesn't matter who football is for, actually, but nice try. Video games are for playing video games. They are not for making music, shooting, or driving. They are for fun. Ms_Magdalena put it well, and that's that. It's what video games are designed for. Let me really blow your tiny pin head: At my house, we also like to play the Karaoke Revolution games. Now, should we go out and actually enjoy karaoke instead? Why isn't my living room a more comfortable and convenient atmosphere?

It's not "training" for real life, man. It's a video game. That's all. Additionally, yes, I'm 33, but I'm not the one that sounds like somebody's old grandpa saying "you kids need to get out of the house and make something of yourselves." So please kindly fuck off with regards to what other people do to entertain themselves, especially if you can do nothing other than demonstrate a complete inability to understand that entertainment.

I'm pretty sure that judging people on what they choose to do with their free time is several steps lower.

I'm all for video game fun, but I need to sleep. I wish my last landlord actually put his foot down and did something about the neighbors I was constantly complaining about.

Did they get no warning at all?