NEWS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup – Strike Edition!

POLITICS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup – Strike Edition!

Since Hollywood writers like myself went on strike this week, I thought I would share with you the biggest Asshole Fuckface studio heads of the week. They are inherently Asshole Fuckfaces, but during a strike we can shine a light on their hideous acts of greed and inhumanity.



Studio fat cats Les Moonves and Peter Chernin are Asshole Fuckfaces of the highest order. Chernin is just a straight up douchebag because he works for Fox. Moonves is best known for the brilliant move of losing Howard Stern to satellite and being a failed actor. (Maybe if he had been able to get a job here and there and actually received residuals, we wouldn't have to deal with his cunty moves at the negotiating table). Anyway, Les and Pete managed to pull a move so deceitful and idiotic, that it may prolong the strike far longer than anyone could have ever anticipated.



Les and Pete "deliberately duped" the Guild by making a backchannel deal and then pulling out of it at the last minute. On Sunday, the two told WGA negotiators that if writers gave up DVD residual demands, then the studios would give a little on Internet downloads. Since that is what the WGA is after, the negotiators went for it. When the WGA arrived at 10 am Sunday morning, they took their 4 cents DVD increase demand off the table. The studio heads then went off to discuss how to respond.



Eleven hours later they returned. Eleven fucking hours. Coincidentally, eleven hours later is exactly what time the strike was supposed to begin on the East coast. Here was their answer:

Uh, what? The Guild made a back channel agreement (the way all negotiations are handled in Hollywood), took a massive demand off the table and then you told them to fuck off and now you are asking them to suspend the strike? How big off assholes can you be? Oh, it turns out they can be bigger assholes.



The timing just happened to coincide with the news cycle. The studio heads fired off a press release claiming they were making progress but the WGA refused to call off the strike. (Because all writers are banging away at midnight on a Sunday) The WGA was completely shocked and was not prepared to send out a press release, so the next day it appeared that the WGA had fucked the negotiations by being stubborn. In reality, they had Les Moonves' fist crammed up their assholes.

Had the producers actually responded to the WGA's removal of the DVD demand, then the strike could have been called off. A deal at that point could have been days away. That is what happens when you actually negotiate. Now the WGA refuses to meet until the producers offer something.



In the meantime, as you watch your favorite shows die off and thousands lose their jobs, remember two names: Les Moonves and Peter Chernin. They are top notch Asshole Fuckfaces.



The studios obviously are attempting to break the union, thinking they would split us when we were told that the negotiating committee had removed DVDs and gotten nothing in return. The problem is they use press releases to make their points. Hey grandpa, there's this new thing called the "Internet" and on the "Internet" there are bloggers, reporters and email getting the real story out. So you keep at it with your "press releases," by the time we read them, we already know the real story.



Next up, there are the little guys, toiling away behind the scenes and some of them manage to be tremendous Asshole Fuckfaces.



On day one of the Writers Strike, a very nice man I know was run over by an Asshole Fuckface who works at one of the studio lots.

Now, that doesn't sound that out of the ordinary; a guy gets hit by a car. Happens all the time. Maybe it was a mistake, right? Nope. After speaking to several of my friends who were working with Tom, it turns out the vehicular assault was deliberate. The driver pulled up in his amazing Honda Element, got out of his car and yelled:

He then got back in his car and floored it. There was no way for Tom to avoid the vehicle. (If you saw Tom you would quickly understand. He is far from athletic.) The car struck Tom and dragged him for a bit. The driver then attempted to drive away but other writers descended upon him and took away his keys. He was then escorted away by studio security.



Johnson's black tennis shoe was still lodged under the front passenger tire as he was taken away in an ambulance.







Tom spent the day in the hospital. He now has one leg that he cannot bend at all and another that is a complete swollen mess. Thankfully, neither leg was broken, but a lot of things can go wrong in a leg.



Not surprisingly, the driver was an editor. They are a mole-like people who spend hours in dark rooms in front of monitors and they hate writers. Why? Because we have a vision of how we want things and we tell them how to do it. They often think they know the right way and they are just as often, sadly mistaken. The fact that an editor ran over a writer will go down in editor folklore, told to their children and their children's children.



Most surprising of all, the editor was not arrested. Apparently it is the policy of the Los Angeles Police Department not to arrest people who attack picketers. If any of the writers had attacked the driver after he ran over Tom, well, that would have led to an arrest. Which leads me to my next Asshole Fuckface: The WGA.



The Guild has been using Tom as a publicity piece. They made sure to mention him at a rally Friday in an attempt to appeal to the member's unity. They have sent out emails explaining what happened and saying Tom made a great sacrifice. They have had members at all picket lines sign cards wishing him well. His attack is being used as a pawn in a game of chess. What the Guild has not done in this case is protect one of their own. They have not approached the mayor's office, the District Attorney's office or the police department to question why a man can run someone down after making a threat and not be arrested. A far as FearTheReaper is concerned, it is more than disgusting of the people who are supposed to be protecting him during this time.



Finally, every studio head gets the label of Asshole Fuckface.



The studios began firing assistants from shows two days into the strike. They made sure to tell every low wage employee they fired that it was the writer's fault. On DAY 2. Yeah, the studios had lost so much money on DAY 2 that they had to let the people making the least amount of money go. Gotta stop that DAY 2 bleeding, and the only way to do it is by letting the guy who makes four hundred bucks a week go.



Classy move. It would be like me getting into an argument with another guy and then going and punching his baby, then telling the baby it's his Dad's fault. You chose to fire them, you rich Asshole Fuckfaces and it's on your head.



Finally, I'd like to end with a January 2007 quote by Les, a man who today claims he doesn't know how CBS will make money on the Internet.

None of this week's Asshole Fuckfaces will receive a prize because they have all the money.

What about all those people striking for more money that are costng rather a lot of people their jobs. (and probably more in the long run)

Frankly I can't think of anyone more disgusting in this whole strike business than the people striking for extra money, knowing full well it's going to end up hurting a lot of people that have nothing to do with their 'cause'.

This article was posted under News / Politics. It isn't news and it has nothing to do with politics. It is a commentary piece written by someone who has a vested interest in how this strike is perceived by the general public and is ultimately resolved.

This belongs on your personal blog, not on the News board.

Here, rather than be an asshole, I'll just say read this. Then, after that, you're allowed to talk about this again as if you knew what was going on.

Oddly enough news is defined as "a report of a recent event; intelligence; information." Amazingly when someone says what someone else is doing, its news.
Also corporations fucking unions is rather political. Just saying.
See, commentary, as you style FTR's post, usually follows pieces of the news and are generally incorporated into the same section (whether in a newspaper, on tv, or on the internet...its amazing, I know). Much like your comments follow articles.
I'm sorry you dislike FTR so much for calling you on your bs when you post. It doesn't mean that what he says is any less valid.

Then I'm glad you're not in a position where your opinion has any real world consequences, because you don't seem to understand the basic concept of unions and negotiation.

Unions do not exist to strike. They exist to negotiate. Striking is an absolute last resort, when the majority of the members agree they're being exploited and all negotiations have failed. If you had read the article, you would have seen that the union was more than willing to drop the strike, even take some of their demands off the table, if the studios had given a little as well, and paid the writers something for internet broadcasts.

These other people are losing their jobs because the studios are inflexible, greedy bastards. Anything that brings to light the fact that they're inflexible greedy bastards is not to blame.

You know, if you were to write and submit news articles of a higher quality than his instead of going straight to the kneejerk pointless bitching routine, they might post yours instead of his.

Your inability to actually do so notwithstanding, of course.

Breaking News: Conservative member doesn't like articles concerning unions, workers' rights. Cries about it.

I don't know how they do things where you're from, but around here, when someone becomes employed in an industry in which an important segment of same is unionized, they generally have tacitly accepted the possibility - unlikely as it may be - that their employment at some point may be affected by a strike.

HOW IS THIS NEWS!!!!1

GIGGLEsnort

I don't suppose boycotting internet downloads and streaming video from the networks will help? Well, I suppose it won't matter in a few weeks when the current episodes end and the repeats start.

furthermore, I would hazard a guess that it's not solely about the money. or rather it is, but it's not just about making more, it's about holding the execs accountable for profit that should go to everyone involved. Sure the executives have made an investment and they deserve a return on that, but the writers make an investment as well and deserve a fair return of that investment.

frankly, i can't think of anyone more disgusting than someone who thinks people should let themselves be walked all over because it's going to inconvenience a bunch of other people who know full well that a strike by any one of the multitude of organizations involved in the industry they work in will cause them some inconvenience. especially when that "more money" might prevent some of the lower ranks of the union members not starve sometime in the near future.

Although it is true that us editors are molelike people, ive never heard of editors hating writers. Ive never once been told by a writer how to edit and ive never told a writer how to write. We're both creative professionals doing our best to make something worth being proud of. I know nothing of a rivalry. So now I'm sick of hearing "of course it was an editor." Youre pigeonholing the wrong thing. Why not call out the guys race or income bracket while your at it?

When people stop being blinded by the fact there is a strike, I hope you'll see this for what it is: a dickless asshole who hides behind the wheel and is convinced its HIS road. Probably the same guy who screams at bikes to get off the road and would willingly run into a group of pedestrians...oh wait...he already did that.

Considering he purposfully ran into a picket line though, he should get kicked from the editors guild.
considering he purposfully ran into pedistrians, his drivers license should be permanently revoked.
add some criminal and civil suits and we're good.
Save the writers vs editors rhetoric for a script though. I'll gladly cut it. Then we can both grumble bitterly as a producer "fixes" it.

Don't be a dickhead. People would rather work for whatever pay they're getting than go on strike. Strikes happen when it's clear to a majority of people involved that they're being fucked to an unacceptable degree.

There are all kinds of acceptable degrees of getting fucked that don't provoke people to strike.

This is the first depressing lesson of grownup school. Keep it in mind when you find yourself working for a living with people depending in you to bring home an income.

It amazes me (no it doesn't) that business people are against the fair treatment of the people that work for them.

To me, it would seem that refusing to compensate your people fairly would be a bad thing and lead to...I don't know, strikes.

I never said the unions exist to strike. The fact that the studio's are inflexible and are now firing personel was extremely predictable. So predictable infact that the unions said they were expecting it before hand...and went on to strike anyway.

I know what unions do and what they're trying to do here. But in the end we're talking about people who have an income, decide they're entitled to more than what they're currently getting, and proceed knowingly and wilingly with a course of action that robs other people of their income entirely. That's pretty scummy in my book.

I don't care what their intend is, they knew what was going to happen and they went on anyway.

Christ. Once again, it is not more money, it is making sure that, when digital distribution of television and movies pulls ahead of and replaces hard copies such as video tapes and DVDs, the writers will get some money. Right now, the writers (and actors and directors and other people that make sure richer producers actually get a return on their investments) get nothing from digital distribution, just like what the studios were giving them when vhs and dvds started to replace syndication back in the 80s.

While I frequently find union behavior idiotic, this I support.

Businesses exist to make money, and regrettably the law sometimes demands that executives and Boards of Directors do unethical things in the pursuit of the maximum profit (search Trustee). Why can't everyone learn to think long-term? Consumers, especially.

Hey Snotty, let's reframe your 'reasoning' a bit. It's not just writers after that 'extra money' after all. The producers and studio execs want (and currently hold) that extra money. And they have a set income, too. And they have made decisions forcing a strike, too. And they have actually made the conscious decision to rob the entire income of other people now so that writers (and actors and directors and what not) agree to get robbed of their incomes later, by quitting the strike and not negotiating any compensation related to digital distribution.
Think about all that extra money. Think of the income of your typical producer/studio exec vs a typical writer. Think of the regularity with which a studio exec/producer gets paid vs a writer. And then consider who deserves that extra money.

he he.

I'm not going to bother to link to JP's blather. If he does bother to rejoin, there are others who got in ahead of me with good shots.

I'll simply make the observation that the networks and periodicals are covering this. That kind of suggests that it's news.

The other media haven't mentioned the specific acts of deceit. They deserve to be pointed out.

Keep it up, FTR. If we have to watch a few reruns for you guys to get fairness, we'll survive.

I really liked how you stood up for tom . thats too true

Sorry, it's scummy for them to strike? It's not scummy of the rich fucks at the top of the food chain to not attempt to negotiate? It's not scummy of those same figuratively fat fuckheads to force the writers into this position? It's not scummy to deny your creative employees a share of a profitable portion of your enterprise? Congratulations on misidentifying the assholes.