NEWS: The Six-Million Dollar Mouse

GEEK: The Six-Million Dollar Mouse

I hate mice. They are disgusting, filthy creatures. I'm sorry, but it's true. Sure, they may have those big, round, shiny black eyes and darling little scrabbly paws, but don't let them fool you -- when you least expect it, they will turn around and cannibalize their own cage-mate, wallow in its blood like some kind of miniature pure-white disciple of Satan, and then piss on your hand out of spite. If you have had a better experience with mice then I envy you, but if you ask me, it's just a matter of time. I'm not creeped out by much in the animal kingdom, but tiny rodents really know how to get me.

So yes, can someone please make mice more powerful and dynamic? Because, you know what, that would be great. I want a mouse that can not only charge me at twice the skittery speed of normal mice, but could chase me down for hours without stopping. Lord knows that's not a horror movie in the making once they decide to start working together. I want my greatest nightmares brought to life in vivid technicolor and tiny high-pitched squeaking. Oh, what's that you say, Case Western Reserve University? You're already working on it?

Hey, that sounds fantastic!

The mice, developed by Parvin Hakimi (the study's lead author) over the past five years, are actually the product of a bigger ongoing study concerning an enzyme called phosphoenolypyruvate carboxykinases (PEPCK-C) and its metabolic and physiological effects on skeletal muscle. To put it concisely, our little vermin friends' genetic code has been tweaked to overproduce the enzyme. They are, as a result, better able to process fatty acids for energy and in turn create much less lactic acid byproduct, leading to a speed and endurance the researchers have compared to "Lance Armstrong biking up the Pyrenees." It's not all they can do, either -- the little guys live twice as long as normal mice, and continue to healthily give birth years after their wild counterparts have grown too old and crotchety to even try.

Oh, and there's the whole "markedly more aggressive" thing, too.

It's like the poor little guys are born with 'roid rage. Nevertheless, it's certainly fascinating when one considers what a little gene therapy could do for enhancing one's physical condition. When I say "fascinating," I of course mean a little scary and GATTACA-esque, but in the grand scheme of futuristic technology it's maybe a little lower on the terror totem than invisible tanks or spider-bat robots. Besides, there are currently only five hundred of the super mice bred and under study -- that's not enough for a hostile takeover, am I right?

Right?



_DictionaryGirl_ welcomes her new genetically-superior supermouse overlords.

No, you're thinking of sewer rats & wild mice, the ones you keep as pets are actually fairly clean, and both are extremely intelligent. That being said, this would make a great "Ben Jr." or "Little Willard".

The Pentagon will probalbly incorporate them into their arsenal of roided super soldiers!

I really am not a fan of forcing genetic changes on anything. I think that evolution will make it happen if it's meant to.

That being said, I had a pet albino mouse when I was a kid. He was sweet and clean and to my knowledge never worshipped Satan.

as scary crazy as this is, the fact that they live twice as long is really interesting. Also I wonder if they are really more aggressive or if it is just that they are so much more active so they have more time where they get aggressive.

They already have things that remove the bodies need to sleep.

You can have super soldiers with incredible endurance who don't need to sleep, with the only side effects of extreme aggression!

I'd volunteer to have this done to me. Who doesn't want to have amazing endurance and a longer life (and feel like im 20 at the age of 40)?

Mice might be a bit smelly, but they are really smart and funny.

So many new overlords to welcome, so little time.

?!??!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!??!??!?!???!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!??!!

Rats, yes. Mice no. Mice are horrible. I've had three adult mice, with 12 babies. Fuzzys too! Their eyes were almost ready to open.
The next day, no babies, just a couple bloody patches and random shaving caked organs.
I've seen a mother mouse eating the skin off the back end of a baby mouse while it crawled away, squeaking.

It might start with a cull due to over crowding or human scent on their babies. But once they can't eat just one, oh no. They go on to eat baby after baby without rhyme or reason. No matter how many they give birth to.

How do you think all the food you've ever eaten ever got to it's present state?

Algernon approves.

/obscure?

Just to clarify, the techniques used in the published studies were transgenic technology rather than gene therapy. Which is actually probably closer to what GATTACA was talking about (though not exactly the same) in that it would only really be possible to see something like this in humans if we all decided at some point in the future that we want to make our kids in vitro]/i] rather than the (significantly more fun) old fashioned way and that we're willing to fundamentally alter their genomes.

Gene therapy (the alteration of genes or the transcription of genes via the introduction of engineered viral vectors into an adult patient), which would be what is required for adults to incorporate these sorts of changes into them, is a much less proven technology, and is quite different from what the authors were talking about.

All I want to know is, if I feed super mice to my snake, will he be a super snake, cause that is significantly more interesting to me. Mice are cute, then they bite you, then you feed them to a real pet.

I want to make a secret of nimh reference, but the literary card's already been played.

Flowers for Algernon?

Oh god, that book made me cry and cry.

I had two mice, once. Then all of a sudden I had one and a half. Well, roughly half. Half plus some blood, a still-attached ear, and a trail of spinal cord and column. I never did find the skull in all the shavings.

Not saying they aren't intelligent or tidy or anything. They're just also, you know, vicious bloodthirsty cannibals and it kind of skeeves me out.

What happens if some of the damn things get out and start breeding? and we can't control the natural ones as it is...?!

Yeah, it does that. Especially the part where he goes back to class.

I sense a Sci-Fi Channel original feature coming up from this .

CWRU? Jesus, that's virtually my back yard. And I did recently have a mouse in the house... I'm terrified.

WTF????

How the fuck did we not get some kind of Pinky and the Brain reference?

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Narf!