I believe very strongly that it is my job to continually remind you that our president is an idiot. The words that come out of his mouth are sometimes disturbing, sometimes sad and most often embarrassing. Last week he gave a speech in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Here are some excerpts from that speech. They actually came out of the mouth of the man who is our president.

On taxes.

You know, when you give a man more money in his pocket - in this case, a woman - more money in her pocket to expand a business, they build new buildings. And when somebody builds a new building, somebody has got to come and build the building.

And when the building expanded, it prevented (sic) additional opportunities for people to work. Tax cuts matter. I'm going to spend some time talking about it.

Okay, first of all, if she is actually a woman, then she cant be a they. That is something I learned in the 2nd grade and it has really stuck with me ever since.

Now lets discuss the building of buildings. You state, When somebody builds a new building, someone has got to come and build the building. Theres a lot wrong here, guy in charge of our country. Your repetition makes it sound like someone builds a building and then someone comes along and builds the building again.

You also claimed that the building expanded. Explain further. How does a building expand? Is it made of rubber? Does someone blow air into it? And then why does an expanding building prevent people from getting additional work? I thought building would lead to work based on your previous sentence. Its really confusing. It barely makes sense. And you are in charge of defending our country.

Next up, decision-making.

My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.

Please, please stop saying this. It makes you seem retarded and me seem really retarded for just being a US citizen. Plus, it is something a five year old would say if he was elected president of his kindergarten class.

I delegate to good people. I always tell Condi Rice, 'I want to remind you, Madam Secretary, who has the Ph.D. and who was the C student. And I want to remind you who the adviser is and who the president is.'

Im going to go out on a limb and say you dont have to actually remind anyone about your lack of intelligence, or their level of education. I think its a given.

I got a lot of Ph.D.-types and smart people around me who come into the Oval Office and say, 'Mr. President, here's what's on my mind.' And I listen carefully to their advice. But having gathered the device (sic), I decide, you know, I say, 'This is what we're going to do.' And it's 'Yes, sir, Mr. President.' And then we get after it, implement policy.

Wow. To finally hear the inner workings of what goes on in the White House is really amazing. So, people actually come to you with advice and then you act? These are awesome things that you say inside your head, but not outside. Im now going to close my eyes and try to hear Bill Clinton saying the same thing.

Nope. That didnt work.

I'll be glad to answer some questions from you if you got any. If not, I can keep on blowing hot air until the time runs out.

Thats actually an insult. It gives the impression that you dont have anything important to say, that you are bullshitting. As President, I recommend saying these types of things. You are sort of important and look what you did. You just took a swipe at yourself. If you were attempting to make me feel as if I have been enveloped by a blanket of sadness, then kudos.

After giving a lengthy answer on global warming:

I'm not quite through. And it's a long answer, I'm sorry. It's called filibustering.

No, its not. Sigh. You should actually know this because you are the president. Filibustering is a form of obstructionism in a decision making body, in an attempt to extend debate upon a proposal in order to delay or completely prevent a vote on its passage. You are just giving a lengthy answer. Those people in front of you are just audience members. They are not the Senate. And you are not a Senator. Youre the.never mind.

I told somebody behind stage, this has been a joyous experience being the president. My buddies in Texas just simply don't think I'm telling them the truth. But it is.

Sure, I mean with 9/11, the Iraq War and everyone thinking you suck, how could it not be pure joy?

On just being there:

And I got to go, I hate to tell you. You're paying me too much money to be sitting here talking.

Not really. I think were better off when you are giving speeches. Thanks.

PointBlank

New York, NY

November 2004

OCT 08, 2007 09:07 AM

FearTheReaper said:
I believe very strongly that it is my job to continually remind you that our president is an idiot.

Wait, what? I thought that was his job.

zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

OCT 08, 2007 09:11 AM

Your mean you libral suck.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

jameaterblues

Vacaville, CA

September 2006

OCT 08, 2007 09:14 AM

sometimes i have to pinch myself to make sure it's not all a dream.

a terrible, sad and soul crushing dream.

Evilgasm

Netherlands

April 2007

OCT 08, 2007 09:16 AM

If you will pardon the rather geeky Role-Playing joke...

So true....

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX

May 2006

OCT 08, 2007 09:16 AM

I think Dubya is the secret father of the idiot beauty queen.

jameaterblues

Vacaville, CA

September 2006

OCT 08, 2007 09:17 AM

Zarth said:
Your mean you libral suck.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

wow, you must have received your debate lessons from the man himself.

nice come back there buddy.